This just in: Brent Musburger has lost his mind. Giving a talk at the University of Montana, the famed college-football announcer suggested that professional athletes start using steroids.
“Here’s the truth about steroids: they work,” he said in a story reported by the Missoulian.
All right, we’re still with you.
“I’ve had somebody say that, you know, steroids should be banned because they’re not healthy for you,” he told the students Tuesday. “Let’s go find out. What do the doctors actually think about anabolic steroids and [their] use by athletes? Don’t have a preconceived notion that this is right or this is wrong.”
And we lost him.
According to Musburger, steroids aren’t half bad. It’s just that evil young journalists want you to think they are:
Negative stories about steroids are mainly the fault of “journalism youngsters out there covering sports (who) got too deeply involved in something they didn’t know too much about.”
Dr. Gary Wadler, head of the committee determining banned substances for the World Anti-Doping Agency, quickly pointed out that Musburger is insane.
“He’s categorically wrong, and if he’d like to spend a day in my office, I can show him voluminous literature going back decades about the adverse effects of steroids,” he said. “They have a legitimate role in medicine that’s clearly defined. But if it’s abused, it can have serious consequences.”
The common side effects of steroid use are liver cancer, heart attacks, and high cholesterol. It can also lead to irritability, aggression, and depression. But other than that, what’s the big deal?
Among the many examples of the negative effects of steroids are the cases of dozens of East German women Olympians who took the drugs in the 1960s and ’70s and wound up with a variety of medical issues after their careers were over. Former NFL lineman Lyle Alzado, who died in 1992 at 43, blamed his fatal brain tumor on his persistent use of steroids. Taylor Hooton was a 17-year-old baseball player who committed suicide in 2003; doctors believe Hooton became depressed after he stopped using steroids.
Do us a favor, Brent. Stick to announcing. It’ll keep you out of trouble.