Jamie Reidy comments on the man who filed a lawsuit against BMW for causing his 20-month erection.
USA Today’s Fred Meier reports that a Marin County, California man is suing BMW and the motorcycle’s seat maker.
I sold Viagra for its first two years, and I’ve never heard a “When Erections Go Bad” story like this. So, I emailed my favorite urologist that I called on, Dr. William Schiff, for his reaction to this news. A natural comedian, he did not disappoint.
My mother never let me ride a motorcycle. “Verboten” does not do justice to the ban. All the other kids in the neighborhood got to ride the little Honda “50″ and work their way up the, uh, chain, but I never dared violate Mom’s rule. (#Wussy) But among the litany of reasons she gave – paralysis, death, torn pants – she never mentioned “20-hour erection.” Which I’m glad for, since I didn’t need to ever hear my mother say “erection” once she’d given me the sex talk in fifth grade. (My father chickened out a quarter of the way through it. #Wussy).
Does BMW really stand for Boner Many Weeks?
Are Henry Wolf’s buddies calling him “Hard On Hank”?
Sadly, Henry Wolf probably bought the BMW in the first place in order to look cool and get laid!
THE GREAT ESCAPE would’ve been a much less exciting movie if Steve McQueen had suffered from this problem.
Right now, every Vespa rider in America is thinking, That never happens to me!
Photo by: dpstyles
About Jamie Reidy
Is there some kind of Ground-hog Day where the temperature or daylight levels gets to a specific level and It’s Dick Joke Season? Is there some kind of shadow that has to be cast in the shape of a dick?
It may be the Pond/Language/Great Divide Issue, but from a none US perspective I’m not sure what is supposed to be humorous. It’s evident that humour is supposed to be there – but it must be My Bad, ‘cos I just aint getting the joke!
Oh – Guy is suing due to”…lost wages, medical expenses, emotional distress and “general damage.”". – and it’s a BMW bike. Did I miss something? Is there a racial element where the country of orogin of the bike is significant? Italian bikes and Japanese bikes seem to get a pass.
I see that the story is linked to “..narrow “banana” bike seats..”, so is there some legal issue or social commentary that I am missing that is linked to Narrow Views Of Fruit?
Oddly – Priapism is often found when there are spinal lesions. It’s one of the things you learn in First Aide Training – find guy lying the road with a Boner – don’t assume he’s happy – It could well be a broken Neck, severed spinal cord or neurological damage. … oh and it can also be a sign of dangerous drug intoxication too. … or he could just be a dick and you call the police.
Just hope that if you come off your bike and have a boner that people don’t see you as some form of guy who is just weird and way too happy – and walk on by!
I wonder how this guy copes with the men’s room – I noted that in the most dubiuos piece, 7 Rules of Men’s Bathroom Etiquette, there is no mention of what to do when this Guy turns up? What’s the reaction to be – “Hell there Guy- You’re Looking Way Too Happy for my liking!” (Snigger, Snigger, Snigger).
I wonder what his job is? Maybe he teaches high school and the kids, parents and school principle have been making comment that he’s some kind of pedo pervert? “Hey teacher, can You “”POINT”" that out to us again?” (Snigger, Snigger, Snigger).
Oh So Funny! Lets have a school assembly and explain it all with letters to the parents assuring them about it – and making sure they all know about the schools policies of dealing with uncontrollable dicks of all sizes! (Snigger, Snigger, Snigger).
I wonder if people known about physical pain and the psychological damage that results from chronic physical pain – The sleep deprivation, mood changes, long term psychological effects such as depression, social isolation, loss of work…
But then again – It’s just a Dick Issue, so lets all snigger and be dicks! There is an evident invitation to some form of humour, but I must be missing out on the reason for the snigger fest!
Hey a Urologist – Dr. William Schiff – finds it so funny – It has to be OK! There is no way a Professional can be wrong when it comes to Dick issues and sniggering.
Oddly, on Dr Schiff’s website there is whole page dedicated to Priapism – and he doesn’t used winking similes to indicate the humour he evidently see’s every day in the consulting room!
Hell the page even says:
Maybe it’s just me and I’m having a bad day – some think I have had an overly engorged and painful sense of humour for too long! Maybe my evidently deflated and limp humour will be a relief to many!
Laughing at or laughing with?
Would it be “OH” so funny, and even note worthy, if it was a woman suing because she had Peritoneal Nerve damage and a Numb Clit, an overly Tight Vagina, Vginal Engorgement and Vaginismus, and as a result filing suit for “…lost wages, medical expenses, emotional distress and “general damage.”"?
Hell – I can see everyone rolling round on the floor laughing so hard…. beating the floor with their hands …. and all the little news stories about how she should have used a Smaller Vibrator (Snigger, Snigger, Snigger) – maybe a Vespa or a Low Powered Honda! After all aint those Asians meant to have smaller dicks (Snigger, Snigger, Snigger).
Sorry If I appear to have an overly sensitive temperament – it could just be that I’m being a dick!
All I can see of recommendation in this story is the link to a Urologist to NOT use! Thanks for that!
Well, I can’t imagine ever complaining about having an erection… I ‘wear’ them proudly.
But this falls under my whole “I hate how litigious society has become”. I see no rightful basis that someone can or should sue a company because their prolonged use of a motorcycle is causing them to have an erection (or an enlarged vulva in the case of your hypothetical situation). It reminds me of a cartoon that showed a man sitting at his doctor’s office when he says “doctor, it hurts when I do this ” and the doctor responds “well, dont do that!”. It seems completely that simple to me; if something that YOU control is causing you harm, stop doing it. This man had control over his decision on whether or not to ride the bike. If it was causing him distress, he had the right (especially in California, where the consumer has the right to return things within a “test period”) to return the motorcycle or even resell it. He didnt have to continue riding it, he chose to keep riding it. This is about personal responsibility.