Joanna Schroeder wants us to face the truth about the type of prejudices we all carry inside of ourselves, and try to figure out how to combat them.
I know racism is alive and well in America, and yet I don’t believe that the majority of people in our society consciously want to be racists. I don’t even think John Derbyshire wants to be a racist, and yet he clearly is.
So how is racism still so pervasive? Clearly we are doing things unconsciously that propagate racism. But how do we address people on behaviors that they don’t even know they’re doing? It feels like an unsurmountable problem, a Catch-22: We want to stop racism, but we don’t believe we’re racists, so we don’t feel responsible for actually being the ones to stop it.
The first thing we need to think about is why racism still exists. And I just read a great description of how racism survives, even when most people outwardly condemn it. It’s from Lindy West over at Jezebel in her piece A Complete Guide to Hipster Racism:
“People benefit from racism—hell, I benefit from it every day—and things that benefit powerful people don’t just suddenly get “fixed” and disappear because Halle Berry won an Oscar or whatever. Modern racism lives in entrenched de facto inequalities, in coded language about “work ethic” and “states’ rights,” in silent negative spaces like absence and invisibility, and in Newt Gingrich’s hair. And in irony.”
We walk around believing that because slavery is illegal, and has been for some time, that racism is gone. I don’t know anyone in the Klan. No one I know would even hang a Confederate flag (though they might in the town where I grew up). Clearly our racism is manifested in some very subtle ways. Of course, racism comes out in incredibly obvious ways, too, but in this case, I really just want to look at how well-intentioned people are propagating racist attitudes.
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Now, we all have prejudices. I’ve written before about how I’m suspicious of people who love cats. I think cats are cute, but I don’t understand letting an animal shit in your house, even if it’s in a box of dirt (that you buy at the grocery store?). I barely let my family shit in my house, I’d prefer they all wait until they’re at school or at work. But I digress… Anyway, this is my own freaky hang-up. It’s a prejudice. I pre-judge cat-lovers as strange. It’s terrible, I’m a jerk for doing it. But I can’t help it. So I remind myself when I meet a cat-lover (Oliver Bateman I’m talking about you) that cats are awesome, and not everyone is as weird as me.
Here at The Good Men Project we’ve been trying to tackle the prejudices society holds against men. Society prejudges men by thinking they aren’t nurturing parents, that they aren’t trustworthy care-givers, that they’re violent, that they’re sex-crazed, that they are emotionally unavailable, that they aren’t emotionally affected by sexual or domestic abuse the way women are. Challenging notions about masculinity can feel like an uphill battle, because a lot of people feel that men shouldn’t receive the sort of sensitivity that every other segment of the population does. But the truth is, men are incredibly diverse and often suffer under people’s prejudices as well.
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When it comes to race, we all carry some prejudices. We’ve grown up in a racist society, we simply cannot help but absorb some of those messages. I have messed-up messages worming around in my head about about almost every race and nationality I can come up with, including white people. Especially Europeans, i.e. Dutch people are cheap, French are snobs, Belgians are ugly, Italians are over-sexed, Serbs are violent… (I’m Dutch and my husband is a Serb so we’re screwed).
The work of being a good person is to question oneself and the traditional ways of thinking that have created these fallacies in our minds. The trick is to watch the thought come into your mind, and to challenge it each and every time. I meet a French person, I think snob. And then I think, Shut up, sub-conscious, you’re being prejudiced. Give Jean-Pierre a chance. And boom! I’ve taken the first step toward exploding my internal prejudices.
This doesn’t mean that I’m forcing myself to think Jean-Pierre is perfect, but it means I’m going to do my best to see him as an individual, rather than a member of a group that my little diseased brain has a pre-conceived notion about. I remind myself that although Loony Toons taught me weird things about French accents (Pepe Le Pue?), it’s just an accent. It means nothing about a person. This little internal monologue works pretty well, though I’m sure I still screw up sometimes. Who doesn’t?
So I couldn’t help but laugh (and cry inside, a bit) when I read Lindy West’s list of ways in which Hipsters are being racist in their everyday language and actions. And I want to note for the record that I do not fully consider myself a Hipster, as I do not shop Vintage or listen to The Shins. But I will smugly admit to the fact that I own the exact pair of sunglasses the Klan-Hipster in the Jezebel graphic wears, and I ride a skateboard in public. Oh, and my husband has a neck-beard and wears dark-rimmed eyeglasses. As do I (the glasses, not the neck-beard).
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Now that we’re all clear, here are my favorites of West’s main points, synopsized. You’ll have to cruise over there to read the whole thing:
#1: “Tee-Hee, Aren’t I Adorable?” – Basically she asserts that when cutesy little white girls who grew up on the Upper West Side or in Grosse Pointe or Beverly Hills flash gang signs and talk about how “ghetto” something they like is, they’re being racists. Why? Let’s let West explain what’s actually being said when a blonde thing like me uses a hashtag like #thuglife:
“See, it’s hilarious, because we aren’t thugs—we are darling girls, and real thugs are black people who do crime!”
For the record, I’ve never used the hashtag #thuglife. First, I don’t get hashtags at all. Second, I agree with West. It’s obnoxious and presumptuous. I get it that us Hipsters think we’re making fun of ourselves when we make a joke like this, but there’s a sinister underbelly to the joke—the idea that we’re above thug life, that we’re above the ghetto. Mostly because we’re white. But also because the people in the ghetto are others and we are not like them in any way.
I also really dug West’s Point #3: “Ummm, I’m a Writer and I’m Trying to Write in Here!”… It has to do with the righteous indignation some white people have over not being “able” to use the N-word in their writing or language. This is something that has always perplexed me. I hear people say, “Black people can say the N-word, but I can’t? Why not?”
It seems obvious to me why you cannot use the N-word, but somehow this is a hard thing for me to answer. Despite trying probably a dozen times, I’ve never quite found the right words to explain it. But West nails it:
It’s all tied up with the deliberately obtuse people who conflate “freedom of speech” with “immunity from criticism.” You “can” say the n-word. Go ahead and say it if you want, Skrillex. And I will go ahead and give you the world’s most sidewaysiest eyeball forever. Because it hurts people. Why do you want to hurt people?
Nailed it. Because it hurts people. You have a lot of words at your disposal, friends. You don’t need that one.
And as far as your jokes where you say things like “I’m going full-on Heeb here,” or “I’m Negro Tan,” and then you laugh because it’s clear you’re actually not an anti-Semite or a racist, so it’s funny… Well it’s not funny. It’s actually racist! And by saying it, you actually sound like a racist!
And here is where West verbalizes something we all know (or should know) about what makes good comedy funny:
People in positions of power simply cannot make jokes at the expense of the powerless. That’s why, at a company party, you never have a roast where the CEO is roasting the janitor (“Isn’t it funny how Steve can barely feed his family? This guy knows what I’m talking about!” [points to other janitor]).
While I’m not sure “powerless” is the exact right word, I would say the message is true. White people are still in power in this country. You know that little thought experiment: “Name ten very wealthy black people off the top of your head who don’t work in sports or entertainment.” No, seriously, try it right now.
It doesn’t matter who you think you are inside, the world gleans its understanding of who you are by what you say and what you do. Your language defines you, and what’s worse, the language you use defines us as a culture. And I really don’t want our culture defined like that. I know I’m not the boss of all (or any) white people, but seriously, knock that shit off.
Let’s watch our words, friends. They matter. And let’s try to keep an eye on our thoughts while we’re at it, too. Oh, and tell me when I’m wrong and I’m screwing something up. As I said, I’m a product of this culture, too, and I hope you’ll all hold me responsible for doing better every day. Seems to me the best way we can heal all these wounds is by holding one another accountable for doing better.
Another note that is tangentially related: Don’t jokingly call me “bitch” or “whore” or “slut” either. I don’t dig that. That is some Hipster shit that needs to end right now.
Image of a Hipster cat in a hoodie courtesy of penguino.
Image of me in ironically oversized Hipster sunglasses with Hipster road rash from falling off my Hipster skateboard courtesy of myself.
About Joanna Schroeder
I just figured something out about discussing hot-button issues like racism and sexism. I can’t believe it took me so long to see the solution to dysfunctional debate.
Here’s my idea: I should stipulate ad hominem statements about me beforehand, to save everyone a lot of wasted energy. I hereby admit and accept anything anyone says about me as a person. Whatever you guess my motives are, those are my motives. Whatever you say about me as a person is true, no matter what it is.
I am a terrorist, rapist, child-molesting, victim-blaming, racist, misogynistic, homophobic serial killer who clubs baby seals and sometimes puts recyclable material in the garbage. I tear the tags off mattresses before I buy them, I immediately go swimming after I eat, I run with scissors, and I have terrible hygiene. I assassinated Archduke Ferdinand, planned the attacks of 9/11, and made the Bills lose four Super Bowls. I have a lot of typos because the white hood that I’m wearing obstructs my vision. Whatever horrible truth you have to share with me, I am in denial about it, except for the parts about which I am totally ignorant. If you think I am trying to make fun of terrible things, then yes, that is my motivation.
I will not spend any time denying anything said about me. You can just assume you are right on the money. Whatever you say, guilty as charged. So stipulated. You can quote me on it.
Now, can we talk about ideas and evidence and truth?
I quite love this comment.
Wellokaythen,
I appreciate your effort, and I think this comment is well taken. I’m glad you came out and said it.
I’m just concerned because if we look back on the threads of the previous page, it seems like a lot of ad hominem statements are actually masquerading as “solutions” to racism. I tried to express this in Lisa Hickey’s thread on “The Crossroads” but I think you’ve put much more force to it.
Too often it seems like the “solution” to the problem is to adhere to a certain viewpoint. When you disagree, then you are labeled with some of the phrases listed in this post. In essence, the “way forward” is simply to throw out ad hominem attacks at anyone who disagrees. The attacks themselves are supposed to be the solution.
So long as this is an accepted type of solution, I’m not sure that stipulating will get us anywhere.
Wellokaythen, Julie, Mike L — I appreciate all of your efforts to move these difficult conversations forward. And I do agree with you wellokaythen — call me every name in the book if you must, but I’d really prefer to just work together to figure it out with whoever wants to help. Thanks all.
Lisa,
Except the problem is that it’s not about name-calling. And notably nobody’s been name-calling.
It’s about the privilege others use to dismiss, minimize, marginalize, and ignore the experiences of people of color, acting as if they know better — despite never having to experience racism — than those communities. They ask for proof when proof has already been provided a thousand times over, and simultaneously they never care to take some responsibility to educate themselves on the issue.
There are legions of groups (like the protestors for Trayvon Martin, the NAACP, the ACLU, the ADL, etc) that are working everyday to fix these problems with racism. But instead of listening to these groups who have VASTLY more knowledge about these issues, too many commenters here (like wellokaythen, and Mike L) have been actively engaged in attempting to downplay their importance and existence.
Perhaps it’s difficult for you to imagine, but it’s dishonest to pretend you (the general you) are working to figure these problems out when you’re actively inhibiting efforts to deal with them by turning a blind eye to their existence and effects in the first place! Moreover, it’s incredibly frustrating. I have read hundreds of testimonials, seen dozens of marches and gatherings, but people will still say, “oh it’s not racism”, or “oh there’s no racism going on here”.
One of your authors, Nick, in a post about Trayvon Martin was attacked by Mike L (among others) as being concerned only with vengeance when all Nick said he wanted was justice! A chance for things to be fair and equal — so that young Black men aren’t killed indiscriminately because of their race, or accorded no justice because of their race, like seen in the recent deaths of Trayvon Martin, Rekia Boyd, Kenneth Chamberlain Sr, Adrian Abdul, as well as those of Sean Bell, Oscar Grant, and even the systemic injustice of America’s prisons, courts, education systems, political discourse — there was a recent landmark decision in North Carolina that revealed severe systemic racism in the jury selection process! Yet here some commenters have attempted to downplay, if not outright ignore, these situations.
It happens, and we need to deal with it. Not by colorblindess, but by recognizing racism — by naming it, challenging it, and speaking out to others so we can stop it.
I encourage you personally Lisa, to be proactive in this regard. Because the last thing racism needs is more apologetics by people like some of the commenters in this thread. It hurts people. It hurts the victims, their families, and all of us caught up in America’s national disease called racism. (Dr. Seuss actually was among the first to call it that, by the way.)
So, please, do not mistake apathy to name-calling with a serious commitment to anti-racism. They are not the same thing.
Excellent. Now we’re getting somewhere.
I already stipulated in my auto-ad-hominem that I am ignorant, I’m blinded by privilege, I don’t care about other people, and I don’t take responsibility to educate myself. If I left something out of that list, it’s because I’m also careless and a poor listener. I hope that covers it.
Now, onto some objective substance.
The effect of certain expressions of opinion seems to be a perfectly testable hypothesis.
One hypothesis seems to be that messages such as the ones I have written have hindered the struggle against racism and has hurt people. Also, my messages questioning some of the methods and assumptions used in the fight against racism have an essentially pro-racism effect and are presumably part of the ongoing power of white privilege. Furthermore, a full exploration of the works of many prominent authors and the activities of several civil rights organizations would produce the effect of revealing an objective truth about the power of racism in American society today. For example, disagreement with the approach of a group such as the NAACP is evidence of ignorance about the reality of racism. Finally, my messages suggesting flaws in the idea of “race” is a counter-revolutionary distraction actually preserving the status quo.
Has this paragraph summarized those arguments accurately?
I absolutely know it’s not about name-calling Zek. And I’m a huge advocate of fighting against marginalization of any sort.
But besides calling people out by name and drawing attention to racism wherever we see it — what else to you find actually works to create change Zek?
Lisa,
I think constructive dialogue is helpful, where People of Color are given a platform and privilege to speak at length about their experiences. I think teaching people about the systemic inequalities in various institutions — such as the courts, policing, education, etc. — are also important. I think grounding people in what words like prejudice, discrimination, racism, and privilege actually mean is important.
I think Nick’s article was a great step. I’d like to see more of it.
I’d also like to see more discussion about less hyped cased too, like the two White Kansas residents that went shooting up a Black neighborhood, killing at will. And it’d be great if we could connect that kind of behavior to the larger cultural context, like the Tea Party slogans and conspiracy theories of Obama as a Kenyan Marxist etc.
Also, there’s a TON of research on statistical inequities which debunk so many racist myths about things like welfare, criminality, the educational achievement gap, and more. And these issues are affecting Men of Color at alarming rates! There are more Black men in prison than in college — shoot there are more Black men in prison than there were slaves pre-Civil War. These facts are sad testaments. Even though segregation is illegal, America is actually MORE segregated than ever. I believe there was a news story somewhat recently about a homeless African-America mother who decided to put her kid in a richer school district by using a family member’s mailing address. And now she’s being charged with extremely zealous prejudice.
I think a balance of anecdotal evidence as well as greater context is necessary to combat colorblindess, hipster racism, and racism racism. However, in my experience, these changes rarely happen. Just look back to the Republican debates. So much racial/racist rhetoric, and yet nobody in those rooms challenged it, nobody named it, nobody spoke out against it.
Anyways, I feel extremely knowledgeable on the subject, but even I realize I’m no expert. There are so many more people out there who’re literally on the front lines of these issues, talking about them, educating people, that I feel rather humbled when asked what I’d do to make change. Shoot, I’d follow the people I learned all of this from in the first place! They’re my neighbors, my girlfriend, my professors, my peers, my coworkers, my family members, my friends.
Sorry, Lisa, I’m thinking now that personally insulting myself is probably a violation of the editorial policy against ad hominem attacks. Can I get a special dispensation because I’m just doing it to myself and not someone else?
(I seem to remember some fragment from childlood that ad homineming yourself puts hair on your palms or something like that, but maybe I’m misremembering.)
Dispensation granted.
I am all for anything that gets these difficult topics talked about in a way that gets us to common ground, a common language. Less marginalization. We need to figure out a way to talk about these things without dismissing, minimizing, or marginalizing. That I believe.
I think I’m going to save this page just because of this comment here. It pretty much sums up how many people approach Internet discussions.
Stop the presses, I figured it out all by myself. How’s this:
If you’re white, you can have black friends, and maybe ought to try to have black friends, but just don’t SAY you have black friends. Or at least don’t volunteer the fact that you have black friends.