A very powerful and influential group of men came together to talk about a single issue in a PSA for the “1 is 2 many” campaign to prevent violence against women.
Eli Manning, David Beckham, Jeremy Lin, among others such as our President and VP, Joe Torre and Evan Longoria all landed their famous mugs and voices to the commercial.
Do you think positive role models like this can help prevent violence against women?
The kind of white ribbon campaign evolution that some are suggesting here can start locally. We started a White Ribbon Campaign in our community last year and extended the language to women, children and intimate partners. It worked great and we would suggest that other communities do the same…
Steve, thanks for your comment…I hadn’t seen your website before and at a glance (and although I could only spend a few minute today, I promise, I will head back to your site when I have more time) your efforts look helpful. I truly appreciate your efforts. Having said that, there is still something that bothers me: your extended language has no specific mention of men. Sure, we are probably included within the “intimate partners” collective but it feels to me like we’re still seen as less important than women and children – who are specifically mentioned. In that regard… Read more »
If the language changes to be more gender inclusive let me know and link the site. I’d like to see it. If not, it’s just another BS site claiming to help men by helping women and I don’t need to see it.
“Why do people think that awareness about violence is a zero sum game?” Maybe because this is what we’re told, we’re told that a holistic approach is good as long as it doesn’t detract from the message of this PSA, which is violence against women is wrong. We’re told this because quite frankly, where are the ads telling women not to commit violence against men? Obviously there is either limited funding and men aren’t the priority (zero sum game), this detracts from the message that violence against women is wrong (zero sum game) or there is a limit to a… Read more »
Why do people think that awareness about violence is a zero sum game? Its not as if you have a limited amount of awareness which requires pulling from one thing in order to apply to another. The specific target of this campaign, “dating violence”, is a very visible problem and is part of our popular culture. It is about intimidation, the use of violence and fear of violence in order to control someone. It is not about defending yourself from an attacker. Defending yourself from an attacker, man or woman, is a totally different issue. Campaigning against “dating violence” with… Read more »
Men have told their stories, some on this very site about being taught not to hit girls or having been so negatively affected by the gendering of the crime in these PSAs that it made it more difficult for them to recognize their abuse and seek help . Telling their stories won’t help if people are so blinded by their political ideology that they won’t listen. Maybe people listening to the stories need to start laying some groundwork so they can actually hear what is being said.
*BARF*
How gutless. Campaigns like this are harmful because they support the belief that when it comes to gendered violence, we should only care about women.
They are showing no courage hear, just mindlessly following the standard cultural script.
Do you think positive role models like this can help prevent violence against women?
Yes and I think it helps that they are athletes.
So I have to admit, I’ve never really understood the special attention that “violence against women” (calling this VAW) receives over other violent crimes. It’s not that I think VAW isn’t abhorrent, its just a curiosity that it gains such special attention and investment. Is it that we think VAW is ignored, or poorly served, by our police and court system and needs an alternative means of prevention? Or are we saying that violence against women is so especially abhorrent and/or pervasive as to warrant additional incremental investment over the current system? If we’re saying its especially abhorrent, then why?… Read more »
Well I can understand it considering that several decades ago the first major strides in combatting DV were specifically of male against female violence. And I like what they have done.
My problem is when it comes at the cost of downplaying, dismissing, and ignoring other violent crimes.
I know many people would see this type of gendered campaign and not see any problem with it. I mean, if it can keep anyone from being abused in any form then that’s a good thing, right? Except, I can’t help but wonder what is the cost of supporting one group of victims above another? When they assign a gender to the victim and/or the perpetrator they exclude those of us who don’t fit within that very narrow definition. I know this because it was campaigns like this that I was forced to see my whole life, and as a… Read more »
I’m sure this sort of campaign doesn’t do any harm, and in that respect it’s fine. But I can remember these sorts of ads running back in the 1990s. Granted, back then I’m pretty sure it was the cast of Saved by the Bell rather than the vice president, but the ads were run nonetheless. If we’ve had these ads for 2 decades, is one more really going to change anything? Shouldn’t we maybe focus our efforts on something else? I don’t think this ad is bad at all, and if it makes people feel better that it’s running, then… Read more »
I don’t oppose champagnes to help women unless I think that there is a string possibility that it could also hurt men. I remember growing up I was taught that you don’t hit girls or people with glasses. “”I did not fight back because there were at least five of them and they were stronger than me. In any case, I was brought up not to hit girls.” http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-478781/Sick-happy-slap-girl-gang-sexually-abused-teenage-boy-jailed.html I’m not sure if fighting back in this case would have helped him, but there is some suggestion that if there were only 2 or 3 girls (a change of circumstance… Read more »
I think it’s a great idea…anything to help bring about greater awareness and to open up the conversation….there is so much denial going all around…. The violence gets passed down from one generation to the next…a boy who I thought was my friend long ago used to say the most degrading things to me and he would verbally and physically fight with me (in junior high!)….Luckily, I just walked away from it one day because I could see that I had other choices than to hang out with him….From reading his memoir (he now teaches creative writing at a prominent… Read more »
So you know this guy has had trauma and probably needs help so you pull the men don’t have emotions or need help. Instead you try to seek revenge/have some fun at his expense, that from the basic description of the situation is guaranteed to make it worse.
Since a boy growing up today is most likely going to be raised by a single mother, should the onus not fall to parental abuse instead since the father is not there? or do you believe it is genetic?
It is too bad that Mike Foley isn’t in this video. He is both a ardent campaigner for RAINN.org and as someone who speaks to a different segment of the population. @JohnA: I don’t think what is being advocated is to just never defend yourself just because your attacker is a woman. Its really geared toward not abusing an imbalance of physical power specifically in the context of “dating violence”. As other comments have pointed out a campaign against violence in intimate partnerships would also help. I do think that starting with “dating violence” is an effective first place to… Read more »
“I don’t think what is being advocated is to just never defend yourself j”
So it starts out no one should EVER hit a woman, not their wife, not their girlfriend, not their date. The intent might ne to end dating violence AGAINST WOMEN, but I don’t see an indication that the PSA is telling men that they can defend themselves. It’s in fact saying the opposite regardless of intent.
Who says you have to hit someone to defend yourself? I usually consider hitting an offensive move. I think the word “ever” is used for emphasis, not prescription. I don’t think you need to be so literal with it. If someone is so literal and suggestible that they take this that way and get seriously hurt because they lay back and take a beating… well I guess that’s fine with me.
“Who says you have to hit someone to defend yourself?” Why do you think there will NEVER be a need to? Why do police officers carry guns, barons, and tazers? Who says they have to use them? For example, my brother has been a police officer for over 20 years and never fired his gun on a call. Are you suggesting that cops who do are doing it because it’s more convenient? I think in most cases they just came across a different set of circumstances. What of women who kill their “abusive” husbands? Whenever I hear feminists say things… Read more »
It is a message to publicly shame people that would never do something like this on order to appeal to the most important voting block in this election for Pres Obama, which is single young adult women.
Single young adult women respond very positively to hearing messages about how “all” men are bad (except for those really attractive rich men telling all the rest of us off) so I think it is very effective for its purpose..
It’s not the first time boys will be taught that it’s not OK to strike a girl. Unfortunately, after teaching men not to defend themselves and the rest of society that it’s wrong for a man to defend himself, no one will combat the perception in society (men and women) that because a man might be physically capable of defending himself that he be expected to defend himself. I think a companion question would be if this results in a reduction in violence against women, do you think it will result in an increase in violence against men?
I get it, but I can’t help thinking a holistic anti-anyone violence/pacifism campaign would be more beneficial. I guess that would require admitting that things like war etc are wrong though, and that men shouldn’t be disposable. You can’t end violence against women without addressing male to male violence too (and intimate relationship violence is started 50/50 by males/females, too, which is important).
I actually don’t disagree with that. I think there are two things that need to happen. First, campaigns like this DO need support because it is really, really important to get a message of anti-violence out to mainstream America featuring “heroes”. If we jump on every single campaign that’s against violence against women we come off as being completely insensitive to women’s experiences. However, I agree about a holistic approach. I think that we need a LOT more anti-intimate partner campaigns. Things like, “Love doesn’t mean hurting someone” or something like that. “If you care, you won’t hit” or whatever.… Read more »
“But calling for action for more holistic campaigns is a good idea. As long as you don’t negate the message being sent in campaigns like this.”
I guess we’re having problems understanding why not highlighting violence against women in anti-violence campaigns actually negates the message that violence against women is wrong.
I want to know why those who are so in support of these violence against women campaigns haven’t already made, and popularized a similar one for men? Support for domestic violence is extremely gendered, only one gender truly gets any decent support. I have better chances it seems of bedding 2 models tomorrow night then seeing a decent campaign on suppporting male victimization and dare I say it, female perpetration that actually reachs even 1/4 of the level the violence against women campaigns get. To me, that is probably the most dehumanizing and saddening things I’ve noticed, that gaping black… Read more »
That said I do hope these stars can help in any way, but wake me up when I see actresses/etc standing up for violence against men. It might restore my faith in anti-violence campaigns.
Yeah I totally get the “women and children” thing, don’t get me wrong I love children and if there is a group of people that warrant our sacrifice, that would be our children. But to say “women and children” is to say “not men” (actually I hear “not men” whenever I hear “women”). Take the atrocities that were taking place in Syria a couple of weeks ago. The media just kept hammering home that the victims included “women and children” as if the murder of women somehow carries greater gravity than the murder of men. They could have just said… Read more »
Powerful people will always need disposable people below them to justify their importance and power. Since the people in power and in the disposable fields tend to be men i would bet these men project themselves on the people below them (if i can do it so can you) removing any thought to their advantages and the others drawbacks. In a sense their ego and privilege blind them to other men’s hardship along with the fact that men are trained not to show weakness or seek help. This is possibly why currently women are viewed as better/more egalitarian bosses because… Read more »
How ironic that Eli Manning doesn’t criticize the NFL for violently doing brain damage to thousands of young men. But, they’re men. Who cares, right? “I get it, but I can’t help thinking a holistic anti-anyone violence/pacifism campaign would be more beneficial.” Obviously, that would be the most logical, reasonable, and effective approach but don’t hold your breath. That would be acknowledging that men are human beings worthy of the same level of respect and consideration. They’d sooner slit their wrists and jugular. . . See, the main thing they are trying to accomplish here, as always, is to paint… Read more »
@Eric Gaby, what are u talking about? Eli Manning has supported advanced measures for player safety as well as speaking out strongly against the Saints bounty system. Why the heck do people find it necessary to criticize Eli Manning who does nothing but good things for the nfl and his community?
“@Eric Gaby, what are u talking about? Eli Manning has supported advanced measures for player safety as well as speaking out strongly against the Saints bounty system. Why the heck do people find it necessary to criticize Eli Manning who does nothing but good things for the nfl and his community?” Full disclosure. I’m a NYer. I had ful-blown Linsanity. I have an Eli Manning jersey and wore it at both SuperBowls. So, I am not a critic of Eli per se, rather the fact that football has for decades been causing brain damage to young men. Now, suddenly, when… Read more »