Joanna Schroeder wonders what our culture’s obsession with Ryan Gosling say about how we view men as a whole.
One of my big hits here at The Good Men Project was a piece called Objectifying Ryan Gosling… It was a reaction to a conversation that Tom Matlack and Marcus Williams were having about whether or not it’s okay to talk smack about your wife’s body, all while lusting after other women’s more perky bodies. I was even interviewed on the radio about Objectifying Ryan Gosling—both about the piece and the man himself.
Unless you’ve been on a retreat in a monastery in Nepal the last few years, you’ve probably heard the hubbub over Ryan Gosling. Star of The Notebook, Drive, and The Ides of March—as well as my personal favorite: Lars and the Real Girl. He’s it right now in Hollywood.
And maybe you’ve heard about Ryan Gosling’s feminist rant against the Motion Picture Association of America, during which he won over the hearts and minds of all of us who get gooey over the thinking man, and even more so over the socially-conscious thinking man.
As a result of this, a clever college girl named Danielle created a Tumblr page called Feminist Ryan Gosling, which I frequented heavily and shared unashamedly. It’s all sort of a joke—Gosling’s signature “Hey Girl” meme set to the words of some of the most prominent Feminist thinkers… But it’s such a great joke that now young Danielle will officially be the author of a book called Feminist Ryan Gosling: Feminist Theory (as Imagined) from Your Favorite Sensitive Movie Dude
I’m pretty psyched that thinking guys are getting attention for their brains and not just their bodies… but I also can’t help but wonder what the Feminist Ryan Gosling craze says about how we see guys in general. We fawn over Gosling because of his brains and his stance on women’s issues, as well as his interest in dating age-appropriate women. What’s sorta weird is that in real life, there are tons of guys everywhere just like him… Are we just not seeing them? Or are they only rare in Hollywood?
What do you, as a man, think of this whole Ryan Gosling craze? Does celebrity worship of so-called “perfect” guys damage everyday-types of guys the same way that many women feel celebrity worship of women like Angelina Jolie damages them?
About Joanna Schroeder
Any feminist women want to address this? -
I’ve frequently seen this on feminist boards – referring to a woman as a “girl” is patronizing. But here, a bunch of feminists find it sexy. Which is it? Can it be both? As someone who only dates progressive/feminist women, I’ve found that they’ve liked to be called “girl” when we’re getting sexy. My hunch is that it becomes OK or even hot once the man has proved that he’s safe and respectful already. What do you think?
I’ve three words for you: Context, Context, Context.
No seriously though, it is all about context…and about the interpretation of the person who is being called a ‘girl.’ And, of course, it’s about the implication of the person speaking. It’s like most communication…it’s a bit complicated.
I’m a lesbian, and if I tell a joke about lesbians it’s going to be interpreted differently than if a straight cis-man or a straight cis-woman tells a joke about lesbians. If I tell my same lesbian joke to an audience of lesbians, they will interpret it differently than an audience of straight cis-men and cis-women.
And lest you think this is a “woman-thing,” it’s not. People, everyone, interprets what someone says differently depending on their own perspective, the perceived perspective of the person speaking, and the social context in which something is said.
We replied at the same time and said something very similar!
Yeah…though yours was a bit more concrete.
lol
We should start a duo…I’ll say something abstract and you can explain what it means actually in the real world for real people.
Here’s how I see it, and my guidelines are as follow:
What you call a woman or a man depends upon the situation and your relationship. The quick guideline is this: If the situation would make it appropriate for you to refer to a male as a “guy” or “dude”, then you can say “girl”.
So you’re at a party and you’re telling a story about a woman you know, in a good natured way. You say, “…and guess what this girl did?!” that’s fine. Or “I was hanging out with this girl last week…”
What wouldn’t work is to refer to a female as a girl, when the male equivalent would be a “man” not a “guy”. IE “The lawyer was giving closing remarks, and I was impressed at how this man was able to…” In that circumstance you’d use “woman” for the female.
My own darling husband has a habit of calling any woman he’s annoyed with a “chick”. But he does the same in saying “dude”. “You wouldn’t believe what this chick did” is the same as “you wouldn’t believe what this dude was doing”.
Certainly this varies woman to woman, but even most mainstream progressives would be okay with that. If not, they should respectfully say something like, “Hey, I’m no girl, I’m a woman!” and smile. Then you just have to respect that. If you came at the situation with a good heart and good intentions and someone jumps down your throat for saying “girl” then I suspect you may have a hard time having a close, personal relationship with that woman anyway.
Helpful?
It was about what I expected, but thanks for spelling it out and putting me fully at ease!
I think Ryan Gosling is a total fucking baller for voicing these opinions (which I share). Instinctively I’ve always felt the classification system is backwards. As a kid i was exposed to violent cartoons where the “hero” murders the Villain at the end, but would get in trouble if i looked in the lingerie advertising that came in the mail. Thinking about this kind of stuff has always been important to my view on feminism. That he comes out and talks about this stuff is far more important to me than the fact women find him hot. Iv’e never been pretty but because women seem less superficial than men (culture or biology i don’t know) I’ve also never had trouble getting laid. In fact I remember well there was this one guy, a fucking adonis, that three different girls i boned had been into “until he opened his mouth”. Their words not mine. Kinda rambly comment I know but it’s on topic
“What do you, as a man, think of this whole Ryan Gosling craze? Does celebrity worship of so-called “perfect” guys damage everyday-types of guys the same way that many women feel celebrity worship of women like Angelina Jolie damages them?”
Hmm… I suppose that it largely varies on the everyday-types in question. If the guy truly does agree with what Ryan Gosling says, I think it does give guys who really are a positive side in this debate an equally positive light. But at the same time, just because a guy doesn’t debate for women’s right doesn’t necessarily mean that he thinks he shouldn’t have them. Take me for example; I largely stay out of arguments on other websites because frankly I’m under qualified to make a accurate opinion, but I still think women should have rights etc. etc.