That’s pretty easy actually. Just get me some handcuffs.
In all seriousness, the Australian FHM will be running the above ad in January. The spread, designed by the ironically named ad agency Jam, is for Repromed, an Australian infertility clinic. It challenges readers, saying, “Don’t Waste Your Sperm.” Presumably, that not-wasted sperm will then be donated to the infertility clinic.
As mindbogglingly crass as this ad is, the subtext—what you’re reading is disposable, and you have no self-control—is actually a pretty funny tongue-in-cheek shot at FHM and its readers. But hey, if this image doesn’t do the trick, they can just turn the page.