Kathryn DeHoyos questions what the responsibility of school administration is when students don’t report being bullied.
Why is it that time and time again we hear heart wrenching stories of teenagers, whether gay or straight, being harassed by their peers and never speaking out? Harassed right under the noses of teachers, coaches, school administration and parents, all adults whose responsibility it is to monitor situations such as these and protect the children and young adults placed in their care.
Josh Pacheco of Fenton, Michigan, was just 17 years old when he committed suicide on November 27. He was a gay teenager who had been subjected to harsh bullying both in and outside of school. The Gay Voice section at the Huffington Post reports that he had come out to his mother, Lynnette Capehart, just two months before his death. She said:
My son was very funny and exceptionally sensitive and loving to other people’s feelings, He was having problems with bullying. He didn’t really want to tell us very much…it was very disheartening to me.
Sadly, Josh Pacheco is not the first teen to be bullied so harshly that he saw ending his life as the only avenue of escape. There are stories almost every week of teenagers and young adults attempting, and in instances such as this, successfully committing suicide because of bullying and the lack of action by people in positions of authority to stop it. The superintendent of Josh’s High School, Ed Koledo, is quoted as saying:
No bullying had ever been reported to faculty members. We weren’t aware of any specifics. There’s been a lot of stories that have turned up over the weekend that we are looking into.
Although there was never a formal report made about Josh being bullied, it was quite obviously severe enough that he felt taking his own life was the only option. This is sadly another instance where it could be argued that the authorities did not take the initiative to protect a young man who, because of their lack of action, lost his life.
If the bullying Josh faced was enough to drive him to commit suicide how is it that no one noticed?
What are our expectations, as parents and society as a whole when it comes to school involvement and intervention in cases of bullying?
Should schools be required to investigate suspected instances of bullying before a formal complaint is made?
Picture: Purple Penning/Flickr
Please stop by and join/check out Josh’s Facebook Fan Page.
http://www.facebook.com/groups/357969097632557/
Josh was my cousin. He was exceptionally smart and ambitious. He was very sensitive and amazingly kind. We always assumed that he would be internationally known, but for his talents and intellect — not for his suffering. The current Michigan anti-bullying laws permit open bullying if based on religious convection. This is horrific, as it leaves every person open to being bullied in the name of God(s). Josh heard and experienced horrible things both in and out of school. People can be loved and not supported. They are not the same thing. His community did not support or accept him,… Read more »
@ Heather – Hi there. You say you knew Josh well, so I’ll take it on face value*. It’s a blow in so many ways to have a young person close to you kill themselves. People can be loved and not supported. Now that sentence really made an impact. I’m a gay man in Europe who has grown up and seen the bullying that can take place. I’ve also been directly involved in anti bullying work in the UK which has cut suicide rates and bullying rates. It seems that there will always be some bullying – there is just… Read more »
Hello, I’m really am Josh’s cousin, and completely understand about taking me at face value. I should apologize for my seemingly unsympathetic post yesterday. His parents are working to change the laws in Michigan and have requested help in getting information out there. I posted generic type statements thinking that people would not believe me as family. Josh officially came out to his family about two months ago. But, it was obvious from very early on that he was gay. When my daughter was young she often described as a “girl-boy”. He was very sensitive and happy. He was one… Read more »
Heather. I’ve been looking closer at the whole story of what happened to Josh. It has so many elements it’s hard to see clearly – and of course the internet is just about the worst place to expect clarity. Media like sensation over the mundane and real. There is a clear focus on the school with so many speaking of the bullying, but only after it has been too late. I see that the school is reported widely as saying they intend to bring speakers to the school to address bullying and suicide. Well there is none better than Ben… Read more »
Thank you so much, Mediahound. I’ve copied your post and sent it on to Mike and Lynnie. Their family has started grief counseling, and various support groups. These past two weeks have only gotten harder for them. Reality is setting in, and it’s a bit too much right now. And, unfortunately, the media is all over them. At this point everything is going through the lawyers, but really, they just want to sleep. Thanks for your kind words and recommendations. The outpouring of support on all of these websites and blogs is humbling, and very much appreciated. If only Josh… Read more »
Heather – as I said in my first post I’ve been around the subject of gay teen suicide for a while. I know the patterns of how people react – how support arrives and then melts away – and I’ve spent many long hours and days just sitting and being with the folks when the three ring circus leaves town. People need to talk at their pace and when they need and no-one knows when it will be. People also have a thing for ice-cream and pickles. You also mentioned the “L” word – and how everything has to go… Read more »
[i]It’s a cruel trick of nature that teenagers are deeply sensitive to bullying and enormously adept at it before their brains fully develop the ability to appreciate consequences and feel empathy.[/i]
I don’t buy it. The key is responsible moral upbringing. Both of my daughters had developed a sense of empathy before they had reached the age of ten.
If a school is to report bullyiing that hasn’t been reported, it will have a huge number of false positives, although once it’s reported, it’s no longer false, whatever it may have been to start with. Somebody’s going to be in trouble and the records will last forever, never mind any promise to keep them confidential. (See South Carolina’s six-plus million tax returns broadcast.) And it may, probably would be, absolutely innocent. A teacher sees somebody razzing somebody else and the Duty to Report is triggered? ’cause that’s a legal requirement. Either the bullying has to be reported to the… Read more »
Peer bullying does not cause suicide all by itself. If there’s a suicide after bullying, the suicide is a combination of bullying and depression. If we want to prevent this from happening, we have to work on stopping the bullying and treating depression. Treating depression may even be the more important part, actually. I experienced virtually no bullying in high school and I had some moments of suicidal thoughts. Also, I’m not sure what the schools are supposed to do about bullying that happens outside of school. So, on top of trying to teach 35 students per class period and… Read more »
The one thing I am unable to find out is if the School was in anyway ware that Josh was gay and had recently come out of the closet? So many have this idea that it is as simple and Bullied = Suicidal or Young Gay Bullied = Suicidal. It’s just far too glib. There is a correlation that is actually far better – Major Life Change = Risk. It’s odd that major life changes that have a high negative risk are closely linked to suicide. Major life changes that go wrong are a high risk factor. Here I see… Read more »
Hello, Yes, the school was aware that Josh was gay. The school says they were unable to report any bullying activity to his parents because he was out at school. They say that they cannot be responsible for possibly outting him to his family. And, that is understandable. BUT, they could have informed the family without disclosing that he was gay. Even though we’ve always known (or assumed) that he was gay anyway. It was obvious from very early on. The school was aware of bullying, as they moved Josh’s locker — without informing his parents. There have been several… Read more »