It’s not one thing or another that makes a woman attractive to Collin Slattery. It’s the little things and the big things. It is everything and nothing.
Note: This post is written in response to In Praise of Small-Breasted Women by Mark Radcliffe.
This goes out to all the beautiful women. The tall willowy runner with the incredible legs that go for miles and miles. The petite gymnast with the strong arms and legs and the flexibility to do things most people can only dream of. The sultry, sensual, curvy women with all the assets and none of the liabilities. The beautiful Asian women with silky black hair and almond eyes. The sexy bespectacled women who know how good they look in glasses and know just what to do with them. The women with luxurious, wavy hair who make the world a better place by letting their hair down for the whole world to see. The women with the full, pouty lips whom I could spend an eternity watching speak. The short women who make the perfect little spoon. The tall women who are nothing short of majestic. The blondes, the brunettes, the redheads, the big-breasted, the small-breasted, the white, the black, the Asian, the Hispanic, the multi-racial, the freckled, the pale, the dark, the small-nosed, the beak-nosed, the round-faced, the oval-faced, and everything besides.
It is not about one thing or another, at least for me. It is everything and it is nothing. It is how you bring it all together and use what you’ve got. Beauty is taking what you have and running with it. It is the little things and the big things. It is your one tooth that is slightly crooked, or the way you wrinkle your nose when you laugh. It’s the shape of your finger nails, the dimple on the inside of your wrist, the shape of your earlobes, the curve of your eye lashes, the slope of your shoulders, the shape of your forearms. It is the little things and the big things. It is everything and it is nothing.
My type is women I find beautiful, and there is no feature that excludes you from this club.
About Collin Slattery
Those articles were about seeking praise for liking what the authors liked.
This article is about seeking praise for not knowing what you like.
I think he’s just saying he likes diversity.
I can completely understand where he’s coming from. Not everyone has a “type”… Josh Bowman who write the large-breasted women one actually was joking and likes a wide variety of women too!
That’s not the point. The others felt to me to imply that certain specific things are attractive… at least to them. To me, I have no specific criteria for what I find attractive. Basically saying, “Hey, it doesn’t really matter what you have or don’t have as long as you run with it!”
You mean, other than being beautiful to start. I notice you didn’t mention anything about large bodied women, older wrinkled women or asymmetrical women. Though I do think you managed to fit everything else in. But ultimately, you still limited the notion of beauty to the physical, which is what I find most amusing about this… Because, while your attempt to be inclusive of everyone feels a lot like sucking up to those taking offense to the other articles, you missed their point about defining them by their physical characteristics.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I think those women who think appreciation for their physical attributes means I’m not capable of appreciating anything else, and am therefore objectifying them, are batshit crazy. But for an article that feels very much like a suckup to miss the mark so thoroughly, I just find that amusing.
Props to you Mark. That needed to be said.
Personally, I love a girl who can make me laugh and who can challenge me intellectually. One of my wildest nights of passion followed an hours-long debate on Kant and Hegel that I lost to my ex-girlfriend. And one of my least fulfilling relationships was with a total knockout who lacked a personality. I’ve accepted the fact that I’ll be getting shit from my friends for the rest of my life for leaving her–because I’ve found a woman who works for me!
Attraction is a fascinating thing, and it’s pretty ephemeral sometimes.
I can meet somebody I’m attracted to, then they say something that turns me off. And vice versa…I can grow to love someone. Truthfully, I believe that the way somebody looks can open the door, but it’s who they are that gets you to walk inside the room (or something…).
If somebody does not have a sense of humour, that’s a huge turn-off for me. If somebody has a unibrow, also a turn-off (although not as much as the sense of humour thing. You can’t shave a boring personality).
I am still interested to see some women post some responses to these articles about men. How much of a role does physical attraction play for you? What are your “types”? What else do you factor when it comes to attraction?
As a woman into both women and men I have to admit physical attraction is typically secondary to me for a few reasons and I’ll focus solely on men in response to your question.
I typically look for life mates when I’m dating. Hasn’t happened for the long term yet but I have had some really satisfying relationships. I look at men in the sense of is this some one I will be happy waking up to every day. Everyone is one bad illness, one bad accident, etc. away from losing their physical attractiveness. I’ll talk to anyone (and have) regardless of how people look. If they have a great personality that’s what matters to me.
For me sex is more mental. I lived a very sexual life and found I’m a point in my life where I can get off on purely physical stimulation but it’s not nearly as good of an orgasm as one where I’m mentally connected to a person. Doesn’t matter what the person looks like. If they stimulate my mind they stimulate me. If they have a generally compatible view on sexuality as me they are good.
I look for a stable person. Have seen too many people who have a wide range of looks that are looking for partners to support them or their lifestyles. If someone has personality and is generally compatible with me and is stable… well that’s the trifecta to me.
I spent too many years trying to keep myself just to my “type.” While it was interesting it mostly started and stopped right at the physical. I don’t want to miss out on that one person that maybe I’m supposed to be with and who may enrich my life because I’m too hung up on what someone looks like versus how I feel when I’m around them.
That being said there are some personality types that just don’t do well mixed with my personality and by and large I have seen no trend in how the people attached those types look.
So that is the short and long about physical attraction and types.
“I look for a stable person.”
And I look for a healthy person.
Women tend to look for successful men. Men tend to look for physically attractive women.
It would be nice if you stopped judging us for it and just accepted that we’re different.
I was responding directly to Josh’s question about female perspective. I, nowhere in there, judge you as a person for why you pick the partners you picked. You seem awfully defensive twice now to responses to a question you didn’t ask.
I can certainly find men physically attractive based solely on their looks, but that’s more of an aesthetic appreciation. I can think a guy is very good looking without feeling particularly sexual about him. Whether I want to have sex with a guy or not depends on a lot of other factors. I’d say a key part of it is his personality, whether we hit it off and have fun together, and whether I feel a sense of emotional connection. I have had relationships with guys with very different body types (taller, shorter, fat, thin, hairless, hairly, blond, dark, white, Asian). I was attracted to all of them. I wish I could be more specific about what gets me turned on by a guy enough to sleep with him, but there are a lot of intangibles.
“I wish I could be more specific about what gets me turned on by a guy enough to sleep with him, but there are a lot of intangibles.”
That’s fine, but why do you feel the need to judge men for being turned on by women based purely on their physical beauty?
We’re different, why can’t you accept that?
Where have I said that? I have no problem with people liking whatever they like. My only objection to Mark’s original article was the way he ascribed superior personal qualities to small breasted women and claimed that large breasted women are dumb and manipulative.
While I haven;t agreed with everything Sarah has said, I don’t believe she has made the assertion you have attributed to her. Others most certainly have, but I don’t recall her being one of them. Not that I disagree with your point.
Oooo ooo! Can I write one in praise of Geeky Men (and Women)?
Please do! I’ve got all kinds of ideas for “In praise of that spot on the side of his neck that smells like sunshine and sex.” No reason, why we couldn’t open this up for more!
I’ll get it cooking up as soon as I have a moment – I’ve already lost some valuable working hours to GMP this week so I gotta stay on task for now.
I’d love that! Especially since I’m a geeky guy myself. Or nerdy? Probably both!
I find geeks and nerds both attractive – and especially with physical characteristics, the line between them is pretty blurry. In fact in my original comment I had written Nerdy Men but switched to Geeky, if only because that’s the word most used among my (nerdy, geeky) friends.
It’s really hard for me to think about what attracts me physically without also thinking of a personality type. Geek/Nerd is an aesthetic as well as a personality so it’s the closest I can come to summing it all up in one breath.
Good article.
Beautiful!