A fashion blog calls out the fact that men are starting to feel as much pressure to have the “perfect body” as women do.
I’m always confused when I hear certain people complain that feminists don’t care about men’s issues, because I keep coming across heartfelt pieces like this one, a frank look at the body image issues men face, on a body-positive feminist fashion blog. My absolute favorite bit, from one of the comments:
The irony is: I don’t even like bodies like that, which makes me believe men might be telling the truth when they say they don’t care about perfect bodies on women, either.
There’s something so sweet about that, the admission of her own insecurities and the realization that yes, maybe she’s judging herself more harshly than others are, and maybe they’re are doing the same. It’s a tough realization for any of us to come to, that we are as beautiful in other people’s eyes as they are in ours.
Photo— mikebaird/Flickr
A fashion blog calls out the fact that men are starting to feel as much pressure to have the “perfect body” as women do. One more thing. Why is it that when talking about how men on body image issues its often done in the context of how it compares to women and body image issues? So men are speaking up on our body image issues, many of us dealing with them for many many years. And when we do it gets framed as we are starting to feel as much pressure as women feel. (We also see male victims… Read more »
That may be because MRAs are ignoring it in favor of incarceration rate disparities, Male Genital Mutilation, workplace death rate disparities, child custody discrimination, false rape accusations, indifference to DV against men, educational discrimination against boys, fatherhood issues such as bigoted stereotypes of men as inept, as pedophiles, as secondary parents or babysitters; and similar issues, all of which may make body image seem a little less than a life and death concern.
But the MRAs are wrong to ignore the problem becuase it is still a men’s issue. Bless the feminists for picking up on it.
Of all the men’s issues, body image is taking a front seat by feminists?? Huh.
I’m not sure I’ve ever heard someone state that a bodybuilding is at all healthy! If anything, it’s genuinely disturbing.
I was just trying to make a statement about the implied thought patterns behind the physical appearances of men and women and my examples weren’t necessarily intended to be realistic.
You make a point about body building, however. That’s definitely a lifestyle where men are valued purely for their bodies…
“I’m always confused when I hear certain people complain that feminists don’t care about men’s issues, ” Stuff like the above is very encouraging. And this site alone is evidence that some feminists do, very much, care about men’s issues. But I just got out of a massive facebook row with a friend of mine who objected to me linking to an article about men’s issues. She claimed that while she recognised that men’s rights issues existed, referring to them or addressing them was an example of male privilege and derailing the conversation from where it belonged (women’s rights). She’s… Read more »
Sorry, *former friend, she isn’t speaking to me right now because I think male rape is an issue (no exaduration)
“I say! That gent has has rather large, muscular arms. He must enjoy a healthy, active lifestyle. How grand.” I don’t believe a significant portion of people have this thought process. Even if they did, it would be incorrect anyways. If a man has rather large arms it’s either because of genetics or bodybuilding, not because he leads a healthy, active lifestyle. If I maintained the most perfectly healthy lifestyle possible, I would have lean, very narrow limbs, which is far from the male ideal, because I’m naturally ectomorphic and have a very small frame. It’s annoying when people try… Read more »
I’m of the opinion that such pressure has been there for a while. I’m giving the benefit of the doubt to the first half of the twentieth century here, but I’ll say guys have been equally worried about looking “good enough” for the opposite gender for about a good 62 years now. And to concur with the blog that the author cited, I don’t think either gender is nearly as strict on that as we think they are. I think we usually just get scared by one bad experience with a hyper-critical person on whom we once set our sights.… Read more »
I’m not sure that men have been quite as worried about looking “good enough” as women. I think that may be a tad of an over-exaggeration. I only say this because much of our culture (at least the parts represented by much of the media) place a lot of value on the outward appearance of women. Not to say the same isn’t for men, but I feel like the physical appearance of men is “meant” to be more reflective of their lifestyle or traits. For example: “I say! That gent has has rather large, muscular arms. He must enjoy a… Read more »
You make a very good point, however you must realize that men are judged by what they do for a living whereas women are not. Granted, it’s not always an accurate assumption. (Most body builders don’t in fact do physical work, they ‘save it for the gym’) I can tell you however, while at my age I’m just trying to stay healthy, most of the young men at the gym I go to are there trying to ‘get ripped’ for one reason, THE LADIES!
I agree with you, but the sticking point here is that for men it is only getting worse. As long as our collective body anxiety can be milked by advertisers, I don’t see an end in sight.
I like this person already. I’ve already known for a long time that there are men that don’t care about perfect bodies on women. Frankly if anyone that’s ever noticed the message that males get in regard to sexuality where we are supposedly so full of lust that we will hit, flirt with, and sleep with any and all women would probably have already noticed this. However in the post itself I noticed something. The writer of this post seems to think that when it comes to men and body image issues we create them in some sort of male… Read more »
Danny–thank you for such a thoughtful comment! I appreciated this part: “t I’m not digging the seeming lack of calling out female responsibility in this (if for no other reason that when talking about the body image issues that women have there is no shortage of calling out men that contribute to the shame).” While I’m the site’s owner, I’m not the author of the post, so I’m not sure WHY Thomas didn’t mention it as much. Maybe because it’s another post in and of itself? I know in my home life, I try to be very careful about how… Read more »
But I do agree that women have a share in this, and I’d love to hear ways that women can approach male’s bodies and body issues without being irresponsible? Or ways for both sexes to have an open discourse that isn’t filled with shaming the other (If what I’m saying makes sense! Basically– I agree, and I wish to know more.) 1. By all that is holy if you’re going to talk about male bodies and body issues skip the “but remember women have it worse” style disclaimer. This is one thing that has kept me from wanting to talk… Read more »
To go back point by point: 1) Did I post a place somewhere that women have it worse? (I’m really not certain– I re-read my comment above and I didn’t see anything that mentioned it, so I’m wondering if I gave that impression across somewhere and if so where.) I know Thomas mentioned that women make up most of his clients and that women are more often to talk about it, but I don’t believe I ever personally said women have it worse. The only thing I could see is, “But I do agree that women have a share in… Read more »
In hindsight (and after finishing my coffee), I realized that all of your points may actually have been in response to the questions I asked at the end of my first reply– where I asked what women can do to be less irresponsible/where both can be less shaming. In realizing this– thank you! It gives me good fodder, at the very least, of how I can interact with my fiance and male friends. I’m so sorry I didn’t catch that– but it makes your comment all the more valuable. I still admit I have worries about praise, how much to… Read more »
I appreciate the kind words and your asking for a male opinion on this. But Thomas does make one good point near the end about how guys can have a very hard time talking about this. Hell I didn’t start considering my own body image issues until about 2 years ago. If you are interested in talking about these issues with your male friends bear this in mind because depending on the males in question they may clam up and not want to talk about it, they may pour their hearts out to you, or they may get angry (like… Read more »
Only way you can know you’re beautiful in other peoples’ eyes is by getting affirmation that you are. Some have never experienced that.