The Good Feed Blog Editors got fired up by today’s story about LA Dodgers Matt Kemp and Clayton Kershaw volunteering at a Habitat for Humanity homebuilding project.
But it made us realize that it’s sad we get so fired up over people volunteering. So what that they’re stars? They don’t need to give back? More to the point, they don’t want to give back?
We think most people want to give back, to help out, to volunteer. So why is every charity desperate for help?
Most of us will claim “time” as the reason. And that’s valid for a lot of people.
But, c’mon. We each can’t give two-hours a month to read at an after-school tutoring session, or pitch in to clean up a park, or throw a coat of paint on a school?
So, aside from time, what’s keeping you from lending a helping hand once in a while?
Photo by: vastateparksstaff
About The Good Feed Blog Editors
* No matter how much you much you volunteer, you will nearly always be asked to do more, to the point that if you don’t volunteer above and beyond your original comfort zone, you get guilt tripped.
* Even if you’re good at saying “No” and rejecting guilt, you will still receive endless mail, calls, and solicitations from anybody you’ve ever volunteered for who has your contact info.
* If you’ve ever donated your time or money to a cause or charity that turned out to have serious ethical problems or to be an outright scam, it makes you more guarded because you don’t want to be conned or taken advantage of again.
None of those are good reasons to avoid volunteering or charitable work altogether, but for me at least, they’re reasons that do inhibit my eagerness to volunteer at times. I’m particularly bothered by that last one, since it makes me feel angry and totally ripped off to have someone try to leverage time or money that I’ve given out of generosity, into personal profit for themselves.
As an example that doesn’t even involve charity, I used to be responsible for a block of four season tickets for hockey that I couldn’t always fill every seat by game time. Several times, I tried to practice random kindness by finding people in line for tickets, and giving extra tickets away. Not scalping – giving. I’m talking about tickets with a face value of more than $50 each. I’d go to my seats, and a while later some different people would show up with those tickets, meaning someone had taken those free seats and scalped them. I tried various strategies like saying, “These tickets are yours if you come through the turnstyle at the same time”, or finding someone with a child, and more than 50% of the time, that attempted act of generosity would lead to scalping – even the ones with kids. I didn’t care *who* ended up in the seats, but I cared that so many people I tried to give tickets to were dirtbags who would turn around and profit off of my kindness. After a while, the anger I felt at the frequency of being taken advantage of outweighed the pleasure I felt from the times it worked as intended, so I gave up and just let the seats stay empty if I had any tickets leftover by game time. I hated to waste them, but at least I didn’t spend the game being angry that someone had scalped away my free tickets.
Well I just lost my comment because the site refreshes every few minutes, but anyway.
I volunteer all the time but the poster above is right. People always try to take advantage of someone who gives up their time out of the kindness of their hearts.
I give to charities and about every month I get a call telling me that I need to increase my monthly donation. I am happy to do that to what I can afford but after a while it’s like ‘come on, I’m doing the best I can to help, can’t you talk to people who aren’t helping at all?’ There are so many selfish fools spending all their money on crap like alcohol or drugs or whatever yet the good people who are giving have to feel the guilt of saying no to a charity if they can’t afford it anymore.
And it’s not just volunteering. There are always people that will take advantage of someone just trying to be a good person.
Oh and everyone has plenty of time. A lot use it to get drunk.
@Jamie .. a little off topic. I know, I’ve lost my comments many times. What I do is write it in my word program and then copy and paste it.
This is all So Hamlet – To Be, Or Not To Be!
Volunteering is about helping to solve problems, with a gift of empowerment, and most often the gift of time. I have found over many years (read decades) it’s not that people don’t want to volunteer – it’s how they want to do it that is the issue.
If you give $100 to a charity each year it may buy as much as 4 hours of paid work! If you give 2 hours per week that gets calculated as over $2500 per year.
Volunteers think of a gift they want to give – and when asked to give a gift a different way they all too often give nothing. They want to volunteer their way, not the way that is needed and most useful.
One example was a guy who wanted to volunteer for an age support program – 2 hours per week. It was simple really, you paired a volunteer with an elder and when you went shopping you took the elder along. It wasn’t about friendship – but empowerment. If you are old, mobility restricted and simply can’t get to a supermarket/grocery store, getting a lift from someone is a big gift and bonus. It means you can do your own shopping – see what is on a special offer and take advantage of it – even compare prices and seek out a bargain. … and use a few coupons too. Hey Money is tight – Coupons are high value. The elders were even going to share the cost of fuel.
The problem was that the volunteers saw it as them “doing” the shopping “for” the elder – not empowering the elder to “do” it themselves. People wanted to help, but have minimal contact if any with the people they helped. The Volunteers were happy to shop for someone, but they saw it as a big issue to allow that same person to sit in their car to and from the store so the person had the opportunity do the shopping for themselves. The volunteers wanted to do and not give – they wanted to do, and not allow others to be.
Out of over 100 volunteers only 12 got with the program. There were over 200 elders who wanted to shop and not have the shopping done for them.
The same arose with a Community Garden project – and heath/exercise trail. There was money to be spent. It was a community project, but the community was excluded. A Core group took over, excluded all others and delivered a very poor result – and then complained that the community was not happy.
The project, next to a school, involved planting a whole garden covering 3 acres. The money only went so far and the plants bought at retail prices were not enough to produce a good result in even the smallest of suburban gardens – let alone three acres.
It was pointed out time and time again that the school actually had the opportunity to grow the needed plants – the kids could do it as part of their learning and the school even had green houses …… and yet it became all about the core group and them “doing”. The opportunities to empower the community were controlled and stopped! The core group were seen very publicly digging, complaining and telling anyone who would listen how hard it all was.
What was supposed to be a project in community building has ended up as and eyesore. The school kids decided to grow plants anyway, as a science project – and then plant them out in the massive community garden. Then they were told by the control group this was not going to be allowed. The school now has a fine garden filled with plants – and they even sell excess to the local community to raise funds – and the school even allows people to visit the school garden out of school hours. The core group were all about them “doing” and being seen “to do” – and they would not give others any space or opportunity.
I have seen it with Homeless people too – volunteers asked to be present in a day centre just 2 hours per week, to be there to talk with people and allow them to be Human and Normal – to share a cup of tea or coffee. The Volunteers wanted to do – to make drinks and food – source clothing – raise money, but not give that gift of time and humanity by simply sitting and allowing the homeless person “to be” a person with a real story – a few hours away from the reality of rough sleeping, street danger and not knowing what was to some next. Two hours to let someone escape being homeless and be normal.
From experience – the biggest issue is not that people don’t want to volunteer, it’s that they only want to volunteer in certain ways! It’s about people “doing” and not about empowering others “to do” or “to be”!
There is a big difference between “Being” A Volunteer and “Doing” Voluntary Work. They are not the same.
The secret is Being, and allowing others To Be – and Not Done to.
Cutting a cheque has some value – but giving others the opportunity to be has a far higher value.
It’s said that 20% of church parishioners do 80% of the work. At my parish, we’re always looking for people to step up to the plate for a variety of programs and I have no idea why so many don’t. Most of the programs don’t require a lot of time. Next week will be my last class of the year where I teach CCD to 6th graders. I’ve already signed up for next year and have added a new program with transitional housing for the homeless.
The problem is that most of the people I associate with are people already volunteer. I don’t know why others don’t. I do know that I wouldn’t want people to do it for their own benefit, so that they feel good. Do it simply because it’s something that needs to be done. People need to open their hearts and see the opportunities when they come up.
I totally agree. Using public transportation is limiting for me. I leave my office at 6 and don’t get home until 7:10. This is not New York. If I left to go to a church or Volunteer center or organization to volunteer I would leave at about 9pm. I might not get out in time to make the right connections. In our area the last bus comes at 10:15 and gets there at 11:30. I would miss about 5 hours away from our daughter and she is too young to stay alone. My grandmother could watch her a few nights but she is very elderly and sick and sometimes she may not be up to the task. We used to volunteer a lot but not having a car means it is just too hard. He and I agreed we will do it again as soon as we buy another car. My husband usually has to work evenings, while I work office hours. So we have to sync schedules.
I’ve been thinking of doing some volunteer work for a long time now. I’ve done a little dabbling here and there, but nothing with real commitment. I fear it’s my own laziness at not making volunteering more of a commitment that I would have to follow through with. Afraid that it will impinge with the other activities I fill my time with. I need to step up my game in this department and make more of a concentrated effort to do some more volunteering. I think the key here is to do what you can do rather then make volunteering feel like another thing you have to feel guilty about if you can’t do it perfectly or all the time.
Me: I will soon, but we need another car. I get home from work late and then I need to cook dinner and help my daughter with homework and play with her (I am away from her several hours a day). Not having a car right now and taking trains here in Texas means I would be like 3 hours later getting home from any volunteer situation.
for my husband: There are so many requirements. He used to volunteer for our church and then they changed hours. You have to go through orientations for many kinds of volunteer work and it is hard enough for him to get away to volunteer but to also have to take extra days for orientations is even harder.
We will volunteer a lot again, but not until we get another car. And then I can take our daughter with me or he can or maybe we will have hours all together again.
All of the above reasons and the fact that in today’s fear driven anger laced society the no good deed goes unpunished rule is always a possibility. Who wants to get sued.
Many volunteer organizations are run or filled with “clipboard Nazi’s – no soup for you” – think home owners associations and the politics and power struggles among participants. It is really like high school and the popular kids again. Who needs the drama. These people get a clipboard and a little authority and run amok and be a power and control freak.
As a result it is easier to write a check; donate goods or work one on one with individuals to meet needs.
Nothing, i just don’t want to.
No one is entitled to my help, it’s a choice and i choose not to help.
A suggestion for volunteering that addresses many of the issues brought up above: hold a food drive and deliver what you collect to your local food pantry or homeless shelter.
This kind of volunteering has many advantages:
1. You aren’t put on anyone’s mailing or call list. In fact, you can deliver what you’ve collected without giving even your name if you choose.
2. You don’t need to make a long-term commitment or sign up to work on someone else’s schedule. You could do this just once and never again. You could do it a few times a year when it fits your schedule. Whatever works for you.
3. If you don’t have a car, that should not inhibit you. The only transportation required would be a way to transport what you collect to its final destination. You could recruit someone with an appropriate vehicle to help with that part or rent one for one day.
4. Risk of a lawsuit is almost non-existent.
5. No time-consuming orientations, training, or anything like that required.
6. No dealing with people you don’t like. You don’t need to get permission from anyone to collect food and then deliver it somewhere. Just gather together a few people you do like to help you transport your collection. Everything else can involve people putting food in a box and leaving it at one location where you will make your one collection. You can arrange it so that nobody needs to be there when food is dropped off. You need not deal with anyone you don’t like.
I mention this because I work at a food pantry on Mondays in Missoula, Montana, and we have gone from a completely packed storeroom in November last fall to having our shelves probably 60% or more empty this week. This is the barest I’ve ever seen our shelves, and this is the beginning of the month when our client usage of the food pantry is lowest. We have tons of green beans, applesauce, cranberry sauce, and tomato sauce. We have very little of anything else in stock.
Things that our- and, therefore, probably your- local food pantry could use include:
-corn, peas, mixed veggies and other canned veggies
-canned tuna, salmon, chicken, and other types of canned meats
-black, navy, pinto, kidney, refried, chili, baked, and other canned or dried beans
-cereal, oatmeal, breakfast bars, and other breakfast foods
-tomato, chicken noodle, vegetable, cream of anything, and other canned or dried soups
-whole, sliced, diced tomatoes, spaghetti sauce, and other non-perishable tomato products
-rice mixes, pasta mixes, helper mixes, noodle mixes, and other boxed meal prep mixes