Rush Limbaugh presents an intriguing conspiracy theory about where our weather reports come from: A Nigerian Muslim Socialist named President Barack Obama.
I don’t know about you, but I love conspiracy theories. They’re like little science fiction stories, but about real people. Sort of like FanFic… but about the President instead of Bella and Edward. I imagine next to the official biography of President Obama in Amazon.com is a little widget that says, “If you like Barack Obama, you’ll really like President Obama: Zombie Hunter” or today’s new one, “Barak Obama, Conrtoller of the Weather”.
But what sets the best political conspiracy theories apart from the average “Aliens abducted J. Edgar Hoover and replaced him with a Venusian facist,” theory is the possibility of truth.
And upon reading the following quote from Rush Limbaugh: “The National Hurricane Center is Obama. The National Weather Service is part of the Commerce Department. It’s Obama,” we can all admit that our first thought was, “Rush Limbaugh is has really lost it this time,” but our second thought was, “well, it does seem possible for the President to…”
So why would our president want to make a hurricane hit Tampa next week? Because of the GOP convention of course! See, that’s what makes the whole Obama-controls-the-weather-service thing a teensy bit plausible… and fun in an evil-genuis sort of way. I imagine Biden and Obama sitting around the Oval Office talking about how to thwart the Republican Convention. I imagine the conversation would go like this:
Veep: You know what I”m thinking we should do, Mr. President? I’m thinking we should create a hurricane… Let’s call it Isaac… and send it to Tampa next week!
Prez (rolling eyes): You do realize, Joe, that I cannot control the weather, right?
And then there’s a pause where President Obama puts his fingertips together, and does an evil Mr. Burns laugh and says, “Or maybe I can…”
See? It’s moderately possible!
And that’s what makes it great.
I, however, have my own ideas about how we should go about ruining the Republican National Convention…
I suggest we all join Westbro Baptist “Church” in a protest where we carry signs that say, “God sent you a hurricane because He hates the GOP.”