President Obama Controls the Weather…

Hurricane Isaac. Allegedly.

Rush Limbaugh presents an intriguing conspiracy theory about where our weather reports come from: A Nigerian Muslim Socialist named President Barack Obama.

I don’t know about you, but I love conspiracy theories. They’re like little science fiction stories, but about real people. Sort of like FanFic… but about the President instead of Bella and Edward. I imagine next to the official biography of President Obama in Amazon.com is a little widget that says, “If you like Barack Obama, you’ll really like President Obama: Zombie Hunter” or today’s new one, “Barak Obama, Conrtoller of the Weather”.

But what sets the best political conspiracy theories apart from the average “Aliens abducted J. Edgar Hoover and replaced him with a Venusian facist,” theory is the possibility of truth.

And upon reading the following quote from Rush LimbaughThe National Hurricane Center is Obama. The National Weather Service is part of the Commerce Department. It’s Obama,” we can all admit that our first thought was, “Rush Limbaugh is has really lost it this time,” but our second thought was, “well, it does seem possible for the President to…” 

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So why would our president want to make a hurricane hit Tampa next week? Because of the GOP convention of course! See, that’s what makes the whole Obama-controls-the-weather-service thing a teensy bit plausible… and fun in an evil-genuis sort of way. I imagine Biden and Obama sitting around the Oval Office talking about how to thwart the Republican Convention. I imagine the conversation would go like this:

“Yessss…. The National Weather Service… Excellent”

Veep: You know what I”m thinking we should do, Mr. President? I’m thinking we should create a hurricane… Let’s call it Isaac… and send it to Tampa next week!

Prez (rolling eyes)You do realize, Joe, that I cannot control the weather, right?

And then there’s a pause where President Obama puts his fingertips together, and does an evil Mr. Burns laugh and says, “Or maybe I can…”

See? It’s moderately possible!

And that’s what makes it great.

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I, however, have my own ideas about how we should go about ruining the Republican National Convention…

I suggest we all join Westbro Baptist “Church” in a protest where we carry signs that say, “God sent you a hurricane because He hates the GOP.”

Brilliant, right?

 

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About Joanna Schroeder

Joanna Schroeder is the type of working mom who opens her car door and junk spills out all over the ground. She serves as Executive Editor of The Good Men Project and is a freelance writer whose work has appeared on sites like xoJane, hlntv.com, and The Huffington Post. Joanna loves playing with her sons, skateboarding with her husband, and hanging out with friends. She just finished her first novel. Follow her shenanigans on Twitter.

Comments

  1. I use to think Rush Limbaugh was an idiot but I now realize he’s idiot savant. He knows all this crap really plays to his audience so I just give him a big SMH!

  2. Cute, but I think you’re confusing being in control of weather REPORTING with the actual weather. =P

  3. wellokaythen says:

    So many naive people. The CIA actually controls the weather, but don’t assume that Obama controls the CIA. Hurricanes in the Caribbean have been part of a sustained CIA campaign against Cuba for the past 50 years. The global warming theories are just a CIA/Illuminati/Gnomes of Zurich/Elders of Zion/Rockefeller smokescreen to cover up the use of hurricanes to hide their secret base in the Bermuda Triangle. Open your eyes, people….

  4. God really does have it in for all Red State activities. She told me so.

  5. I couldn’t find the quote in it’s original context, but going from the what was quoted in the article I’m not so sure he was implying that Obama personally whipped up the storm to tick off the republicans. I think he might possibly have been trying to suggest that the impact of the storm and it’s danger were being overstated in order to detract from the conference and encourage people not to go.

    I don’t think it’s true, but it’s not exactly a batshit-crazy idea either.

    • Yeah, looking back at the article this links to again, the argument seems to be about how the weather is being reported, rather than suggestions that it’s being controlled.

  6. Sheesh. If he controls the weather, what’s to stop him from controlling the results of the election? Curious minds want to know.

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