Rick Reilly Presumes to Know What’s Best for All Adoptees

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Joanna Schroeder is the type of working mom who opens her car door and junk spills out all over the ground. She serves as Executive Editor of The Good Men Project and is a freelance writer whose work has appeared on sites like xoJane, hlntv.com, and The Huffington Post. Joanna loves playing with her sons, skateboarding with her husband, and hanging out with friends. Her dream is to someday finish her almost-done novel and get some sleep. Follow her shenanigans on Twitter.


  1. Kathryn DeHoyos says:

    Not only do I think Reilly has no right to speak on this, whether he is an adoptive parent or not, but I think he needs to stop assuming he knows what the mother feels as well. He has no idea if she is filled “with regrets and doubts,” and maybe it would cause her more pain than happiness to “once again hold her child.” Yes a meeting like that could potentially “fill two hearts,” but it could also bring back possible trauma (say if she were a victim of rape) or any number of other emotions that may be better left alone.

    I understand that some women who place children up for adoption struggle with regrets, self-loathing, doubt, etc., but some do not, and either way it should be up to each individual how they chose to deal with it, and this goes for adoptees as well! There is nothing wrong with Colin Kaepernick having no desire to try to find his birth mother, that’s his business and his family’s business, and NOT the business of a sports writer who THINKS he understands just because he is an adoptive parent.

  2. I’m an adoptee, and like Kaepernick I’ve never been particularly curious about my birth parents. It certainly sounds to me like Reilly is making far too many unjustified assumptions.

  3. I am a 44 yr old adoptee and have never been interested in meeting my birth parents. I wanted information, medical and mental health history, but that was about it. I had good feelings toward my birth mother, but didn’t need a relationship with her to ‘fill my heart’. We corresponded about 15 yrs ago through a 3rd party and she wasn’t ready to meet me then either.
    As for Mr Reilly, presumption, even from a father who has some experience in the world of adoption is not wise. No two people are the same and while I am glad he has a positive view on what a meeting like that could be, it is insensitive to assume that is how it always happens.

  4. Rick Reilly?


    I recommend that anyone curious about Rick Reilly’s other opinions hie over to Deadspin.com. Not recommended for people who wheeze after laughing.

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