Should a man be ashamed of raising someone else’s child? The Toronto Globe and Mail asked Noah Brand.
Stop by the Toronto Globe and Mail to check out a nice little article by Zosia Bielski about people’s reactions to Sarah Polley’s new documentary. It seems Ms. Polley has discovered that her father is not, in fact, her biological father, the actress and filmmaker being the product of an affair her mother had. Her father doesn’t see this as diminishing their bond in any way, but some folks are criticizing him for being a “pushover” for raising a child he knew wasn’t his. Good Men Project editor-in-chief Noah Brand was invited to contribute his own views.
From a cultural standpoint, Mr. Polley’s acquiescence to news of his wife’s affair was most startling of all, says Robin Milhausen, an associate professor in Family Relations and Applied Nutrition at the University of Guelph who has researched cheating.
“We’re going against traditional scripts where it’s men who are more likely to be sexually unfaithful. Women’s sexual infidelity tends to bother men more than emotional infidelity and that’s why the public reacts with more judgment and surprise that the man is taking it in stride.”
A more callous view would call it resigned cuckoldry, especially as there were jokes in the family about Ms. Polley’s lineage. But Mr. Brand sees it as a more modern masculinity.
“It was the most manly-in-a-good-sense part of it. He was taking responsibility because it was his marriage. That is deeply admirable in my mind.”
Read the whole article here.