After 19 years of marriage the husband believes he’s “been assaulted.”
A man named Jan can no longer stay married to his wife Monica. According to this piece in The Telegraph, the 64-year-old Belgian man said he thought his Indonesian wife “…was an attractive woman, all woman. She had no male traits.” The couple decided not to have children because he already had two from a previous marriage. And Monica pretended to menstruate in order to “conceal the truth.”
Various perspectives emerged from articles, some highlighted how the wife hid the sex change while others focused on the man’s response. Twitter contained a host of perspectives and opinions as well, including a radical conservative’s dig on Barack and Michelle Obama’s relationship:
He had his trust violated he has every right to be angry its not that he is a trans phobic man its just their relationship was founded on a lie. That is never good.
well I understand him, his reaction is legittimate. I cant blem him :-/
The Original Story broke 23 November – and the full text of the original shows a right pair of characters. I’m not sure if anyone could ever untie the Gordian Knot of blame or what ever and that goes with this pair. The original news story (Link) from Het Nieuwsblad – Antwerp – Belgium – has a great deal more detail, and Google Translate makes it comprehensible, with some odd lines that can be unwittingly comical. “She then announced that she was born as a boy and that she had to operate.” Even in context it gets you wondering about… Read more »
The deception is pretty horrible. All people deserve to know the truth of their partners, especially those who are seeking to have children the natural way. Not everyone wants to date trans people, and that is completely their choice and fine so lying about that is a huge breach of trust.
I would say that “assaulted” is more than a stretch but in light of not being told something so major I don’t blame him for wanting nothing else to do with her.
(And I’m a bit curious as to why the pic for this article is a facepalm .)
Danny – it would appear that the use of the word Assault is very valid. Don’t forget that there is some rather heavy time lag in the story hitting the wires due to it coming from Belgium – the major news coverage is in French and Dutch (Also German) and getting valid translations is taking time. However – the man concerned has been on the record that it has been a “Physical Assault” and the equivalent of a “Physical Assault” – that to him there are very real physical reactions which he likens to the aftermath of being Physically Assaulted.… Read more »
In the original brief article, there are some complicating factors at work, as if it wasn’t complicated enough. There are immigration issues involved, considering her papers were inaccurate or at least imprecise. The story mentions some concerns about infidelity and some tension over her behavior with other men. Whatever the reasons for seeking an annulment, her secret sex change is not the only reason why he wants out of the marriage. I suspect even if she were a cis-woman that his marriage was already in some trouble.
Well – when you do the homework it turns out that the trans issue is really just icing on a pretty rotten cake. The – er — lack of candour issue goes all the way back to the point where they first met. There were immigration issues which had been fought out and won where the government had been worried about such things as validity – authenticity – forgery of birth certificate, identity papers and passports. It’s rather nasty finding out that you have been made a liar of in court to cover up someone else’s legal issues. It’s even… Read more »
I think having had a sex change is a fairly relevant thing to mention to a potential spouse, but even if there is no moral dereliction in with holding the information, who one associates with should be voluntary. He absolutely has the right to seek termination of his marriage.