How Do We Reverse the Cycle?
According to a study by David H. Autor, a professor at theMassachusetts Institute of Technology, and Melanie Wasserman, one of the reasons that many men are be struggling in the workplace may be their family situation when growing up. According to this study (which can be found HERE), sons raised by single mothers fare poorly in the job market. This is bad enough, of course, but the problem may actually compound itself. If the sons of single mothers struggle economically, they are less desirable as husbands, so women are choosing to raise kids alone, which creates more fatherless boys, and so on.
This study was discussed in many of the usual outlets, Left and Right, from the NYTimes to the National Review. While there seems to be an emerging consensus that this is occurring, the question remains, what do we do about it? The Left seems to want an economic solution, more jobs and higher-paying for low-skilled workers. This doesn’t seem to be working, our economy is sputtering at all levels. The Right wants a social solution, increasing participation by fathers, or decreasing out-of-wedlock births for mothers. This makes a certain amount of sense, but the way they are are executing it, by shaming single mothers as “selfish” or “sluts” or “welfare dependents” and shaming fathers as “deadbeat dads,” isn’t working, not to mention, it’s just plain mean.
So what do we do? What will work? I don’t know, and I’m not angling for the answer I want to hear, that matches my political view, because I don’t know the answer. But the question seems a central one to our mission at Good Men Project and to our functioning as a society and economy.
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Steve, that was enlightening, seriously. Plenty of stats that show the adverse affects of fatherless kids but added to that equation and often ignored, are the mothers who are raising them. That is seldom if ever addressed.
Women’s employment rates and graduation rates have been going up, while men’s have been stagnant or going down. So, obviously being raised by a single mom is not by itself a decisive factor. It’s the combination of the sex of the single parent and the sex of the child. What about all those young women raised by single mothers? They seem to be thriving. Perhaps the problem lies not in having an absent father but in how single mothers raise sons differently from girls. Funny how when a child is raised by a woman, then any problems in the child’s… Read more »
you have a point Steve. Maybe the problem lays elsewhere?
@Steve: You raise a good point that is seldom discussed. I work with young males, as a mentor/coach and I know for a fact that many of these single moms raising boy’s don’t do a good job of it and men like myself are expected to pick up the slack . As Sarah noted many of these women make a variety of poor life choices about sex and parenthood and in my community all they have to do is blame the,”absent” father for all of her problems and she is of the hook. It impossible to even have the discussion… Read more »
Ogwriter Hello, I am well. I hope you are well too. I like UB’s work thus far, it’s a great recommendation, thank you. I’m convinced our problems are in the family/home. Just to piggy-back on Steve’s excellent comment, there is research on the “quality” of mothering as relates to her warmth and affection vs destructive parental conflict and the mother’s aggression and hostility. The mother-son relationship and the mother’s family interactions play a significant role in a young man’s self-worth. (and self-worth correlates to his pursuit of income) Basically, the father-child bond/relationship is a large part of the equation, but… Read more »
First of all, there is more than one kind of single-parent household. The report itself seems to assume that single-parent household by definition means a “single mother” household with an “absent father.” I would like to see some numbers on any similarities or differences between single father households and single mother households when it comes to the lives of their sons. I would not be surprised if sons of single fathers do better in some areas than sons of single mothers. Furthermore, even if we’re just talking about single-mother households there is a wide variety of fatherhood situations. The father… Read more »
Excellent parse wellokaythen, There are volumes of research on father and mother involvement (or lack of involvement) and how it affects children’s self-esteem and emotional health. Our emotional well being will eventually effect career aspirations and relationship success…that’s a no brainer. Another study–related to this–is when men and women delay family they tend to have lower job and life satisfaction and lower incomes. Ref: Sex Differences in Delaying Family: Effects on Job and Life Satisfaction, Psychology Research, ISSN 2159-5542 December 2011, Vol. 1, No. 6, 444-452 My middle-of-the-road suggestion is rebuild our family structure and promote healthy stable relationships between… Read more »
Hey Joan it looks like you have been reading Uri Bronfrenner’s work on ecological models of influence, good stuff. I hope you are well.
Why do you claim that women are “choosing” to raise children alone? maybe some choose it with open eyes, but I think the majority simply end up being single mothers because they are young, they use poor judgment about sex and relationships (e.g. having sex too soon, not using birth control, picking inappropriate partners), they end up having a baby, meanwhile they don’t get a good education or develop job skills, and then at some point the relationship ends and now they are stuck in a life of economic hardship, and that is passed on to the next generation. Personally… Read more »