My son loved Cub Scouts last year, he even came in third in the Pine Car Derby (pretty good accomplishment for a Tiger Scout!). He loved the uniform, the badges, and learning the salutes.
But this year my husband and I withdrew our family from the local Cub Scout pack because of their recent decision to disenfranchise gay scouts and leaders from the organization, not to mention their systematic cover-ups of multiple sex abuse cases.
It’s been hard for some of my friends to understand. I think they think I’m making a big stink about nothing. But the truth is, I cannot put our name on an organization that would do what this Gawker story reports they’ve done:
Ryan Andresen was in “total shock” when his Scoutmaster informed him he would not be awarding him the rank of Eagle Scout — the Boy Scouts highest honor — because he was openly gay.
“He had been telling me all along that we’d get by the gay thing,” Andresen, 17, told Yahoo News. “It was by far the biggest goal of my life. It’s totally devastating.”
Andresen spent the past 12 years earning enough merit badges to qualify for Eagle Scout, and recently completed his service project — ironically, an anti-bullying “tolerance wall” he worked on with area schoolchildren.
So, a boy who has been dutifully scouting since he was in first grade was told that he would never advance to Eagle Scout because he is an out gay teen?
Disgusting.
Despite the good that the Boy Scouts of America does, it is important that we take this time to make our own personal protests against an organization that is encouraging discrimination and even hate.
It’s time the Boy Scouts of America started truly caring about our youth—in every way—and as long as we keep putting our names on their rosters, we are advocating for their policies of discrimination and allowing more children to be harmed.
Read also: Boy Scouts of America Covered Up Sexual Abuse of Children by Ozy Frantz
I never did understand the Boy Scouts / Cub Scouts stance on athiesm. Never than during my one horrible year in Cub Scouts did I more doubt the existence of a good and loving God. I was abused both mentally and physically, and any who weren’t taking an active part in this turned their blind eye to it. The Cubmaster was standing 2 feet away when another adult punched me in the face, and he acted as if nothing had happened . As far as I am concerned, all the adult leaders in that time and place can go straight… Read more »
I agree with the reasoning and emotional logic of the withdrawals, but your son is not even fully cognitive of the crap-side of BSA. He enjoys the heck out of it. A Cub Troop is as divorced from the BSA as one can be. Its about boys, camaraderie among peers, learning some cool stuff, building character and team-skills. Its also primarily about fun. When my son was in Cubs, “Character” included full and continual briefing on not bullying anyone for any reason and not judging others for any reason if they were also a child…that we don’t know everything that… Read more »
I apologize for any misconception that I was/am in support of the BSA policy. I had assumed the divide between Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts was a likely basis for Joanna’s son being there in the first place. I am in NO WAY supportive of the BSA policy. There are protests from the inside and protests from the outside. I was simply trying to convey that protest and change attempts from the outside will only be met with the windows closing on you. The Cub Scouts we experience in New Hampshire is not exclusive of ANYONE, and we have out-boys… Read more »
My problems with the scouts go back to 68- when I was shown the door for wearing a black arm band marching in the Memorial Day parade. There was bullying, there was homosexuality, there were aches and pains and blisters, I got burned badly goofing around with bacon grease on a campfire, and damned near drowned the first day of camp, as did several other guys, the water was so damned cold- I was raised by agnostics and dealt with the reverence. My mother was no joiner but served as a Den Mother. My sons opted not to scout –… Read more »
I feel that if we protested from the inside, it would be pointless. They still have our money, they still have our names.
I simply cannot be a part of an organization that makes discrimination part of its core values.
It is easy to talk the talk, but not always easy to walk the walk. This may have been hard for your son, but you modeled something very important for him that he will appreciate more and more as he gets older. If you teach respect and tolerance, he will learn those values. They are increasingly critical in our shrinking world and inflamed political rhetoric. Nicely done.
OR….it was a lesson in walking away from a fight for fair treatment of others.
Yes, it is disgusting. The Boy Scouts are out of touch and should definitely be challenged on their policy. I think you made a good decision to withdraw your son.
Let’s boil this down to what this means in practice. A 17-year-old boy can get fellatio from a girl and still be an Eagle Scout. If he gets fellatio from a boy he can’t be. So, the gender of the mouth is what matters in getting that badge? How odd.
No, wait, that’s not it either. What matters to the BSA is what gender of mouth the Scout WANTS it to be. That’s even more odd.
Very good explanation, wellokaythen.
Maybe scouts would have kept your mouth a bit less vulgar when talking about Cub Scouts. We are talking about kids who lace wallets together and sing at campfires. This room makes it all sound like the Cub Scouts are bitter KKKers burning a cross.
My above comment was directed directly to wellokaythen and Ted. No one else. I apologize profusely for any perceived broad-casting of reaction.
True.
This is a world in which there are millions and millions of gay people. Doesn’t “Be Prepared” mean you should be prepared for reality? I remember there being a “Mammals” merit badge – it wasn’t until much later that I learned how common homosexuality was among our closest primate relatives. Boy Scouts did not really prepare me for that zoological reality. What’s absurd to me is that a Scout can go through years of scouting, meet or exceed all the requirements, and fulfill everything asked of him, but being openly gay is the only thing keeping you from getting the… Read more »
The BSA doesn’t allow atheists, either. If they changed policy to allow gays, but not atheists, how many people would be satisfied enough to end their boycotts?
If it was strictly a club, I wouldn’t mind so much discriminatory policies that I disagree with, but I see it more as a business that benefits from public accommodations, so I think the standards should be different.
I was in Scouts more than 30 years ago, so this may have changed, but I don’t remember much room for anyone who wasn’t Christian or Jewish. My troop met in a church and recited solidly mainstream Protestant prayers. I remember a lot of points in the Handbook where it referred to “your church (or synagogue).” Hardly a globally inclusive policy, even among monotheists….
When my son was 12, I withdrew my son from the Boy Scouts after participating in Scout activites for about 3 months. Why? Bullying. My son is a gentle, amiable soul, and for whatever it’s worth, heterosexual. He’s a gamer-type kid. (Dear God, don’t get him started on gaming. I love him, but I’d rather eat eat a bullet.) He would come back from the meetings, activities, and I’d ask him if he had fun. It was sad, because he would try so hard to put a positive spin on Scouting, but you could tell something was wrong. A couple… Read more »
So, why aren’t you at the meetings? Why aren’t you volunteering? I’m a scoutmaster in a small, conservative rural community. I do not tolerate bullying in my troop. Nor do the other scoutmasters I know. Read the Boy Scout Handbook- starting with the parents guide in front. Requirement 9 of Tenderfoot- what to do about bullies, ans why not to be one. If the scoutmaster isn’t in with the Boy Scout program as laid out- IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AS A PARENT TO GET HIM OR HER REMOVED. Start with the charter rep of the organization that sponsors the troop-… Read more »
@HH As I said in my post, I was not making a general statement against all BSA troops or councils- just this one in particular. I’m very glad for the boys in your troop that care so much that you are willing to give them so much of your time and effort without compensation. I admire folks who do things like this, and the kids are lucky to have you. One facet of my job as a dad is to protect my son. I know a toxic environment when I see one, and to leave my son in it would… Read more »
lol youre tough guy arent you? in the end you scout guys are bunch of homophobes, bullies, and misogynist…
Although I profess conservative morals, I believe truly in the inclusion of all people of any race, sexual preference or creed. I also believe in approaching a homosexual person with sensitivity and understanding, offering them support and care in as much as I can offer. I have openly gay friends, and they are some of the most genuine friends I have. Being gay does not ‘de-humanize’ a person, and we ought to remember and respect that truth. I understand that the organization has rules, but as good as their intentions might be, this rule isolates an individual who is gay… Read more »
My son is in the Life rank which is the last before Eagle. It’s a shame that the kid in the report was allowed to continue knowing that at the end he wouldn’t be allowed to finish. Maybe the leader thought he could bypass the local BS chapter? Anyways, it was the leader’s fault not to be properly trained. He should have known his organization’s rules before becoming a leader. I still believe in the Boys Scout of America. All the good things my son has learned outweighs the fact they don’t allow gays. He certainly has not learned to… Read more »
I doubt you would feel the same way if your son had realised he was gay after joining the organisation.
There is literally no good reason for this rule.
I think the world will be a better place when everybody realises that the “shame” here isn’t that the boy was allowed to continue in the scouts until almost reaching top rank; it’s a shame that the homophobic rule exists. In Britain, having a rule like this is rightly against the law.
Imagine if the scouts suddenly decided to bar all black people. Would you still “respect their stance” of hatred?
It is a shame. But it’s a shame that Boy Scouts of America is a discriminatory organization, not that one kind leader believed he could somehow avoid having to enforce the rules set out by bigoted people.
I support people’s rights to freedom of association, but I don’t think the Boy Scouts are so much a voluntary association as they are a business. They used to not allow girls, now they do. I’m less certain that a business could morally or legally exclude anyone from its services. Certain gender based businesses like women’s health clubs can do so legally in some areas. I’m still unsure about the morality. Some people make the argument morality be damned. If people receive health benefits from exercise and won’t go to coed gyms, it’s better to allow the discrimination. I mention… Read more »
The Boy Scouts allow girls to join? Since when?
Googled it. Never mind.
But, the Cub Scouts don’t. That’s no different than not allowing little gay boys.
But it does mean that they changed the rules and if they can change a rule, how important can that be to their mission? Are the cub scouts a different organization from the boy scouts?
The U.S. Supreme court has ruled that private organizations can discriminate. It’s a free association issue. Not saying I agree with the Boy Scouts but it is their constitutional right as long as they remain a private club. They are not like a business open to the public (as a legal matter) because you have to be an approved member to participate.