What You May Not Know About Gun Violence and Suicide

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About Kathryn DeHoyos

Kathryn DeHoyos currently resides on the outskirts of Austin, TX. She is the News Editor for the Good Feed Blog and absolutely loves what she does. She is the happy mommy to a wild 2 year old girl-child, and is blissfully happy being un-married to her life partner DJ.


  1. There have been times when I thought that if I only had a gun…… It is definitely good I did not.

  2. My ex-husband committed suicide-by-gun three days before our son’s 21st birthday. Our son is now 27 and continues to struggle with the devastating effects. Many other people still suffer, as well. The emotional turmoil lasts forever, though for some it becomes manageable over time.

    Had there been no gun right at hand, the alcohol and pain-killers in my ex’s bloodstream might not have led to his death or created such misery for those most affected by it.

    • Kathryn DeHoyos says:

      Kate, I am so sorry for your loss and the trauma you and your son have gone through! I do believe that some people will find a way no matter what, but I KNOW from my own experiences that once that time of crisis passes you feel differently, especially if you can get the help and support you need to bring things back into perspective! That’s not to say that it all just goes away over night, or that it becomes instantly better, but without easy access to guns a person may have the chance to find their hope again…

      I wish I had something deep and inspiring to say, but all that comes to mind is I’m so sorry!

  3. I love this article and the very clear idea it puts out there. That we are not under siege by crime but by the idea that our world is so dangerous that we must be armed. Meanwhile the presence of a gun in our house has been proven to be a greater threat than the supposed criminal it is meant to protect us from. Well done.

    • Kathryn DeHoyos says:

      Thank you Mark! This was actually a difficult one for me to write. There was a very dark period in my life a few years ago and the fact that I did NOT have easy access to a gun is one of the reasons I am still here today. If I had had easy access history would be very different for my family and the people in my life who I love and who love me. I’m not saying I think guns should be banned, but people need to be made aware of the very real threat they pose to our loved ones!

    • The difference is that I can make my risk of suicide 0%, gun or no gun. I cannot make my risk of being a victim of a violent criminal 0%. There is literally no increased risk to me by owning a gun (except in a meaningless, epidemiological sense which is foolish to apply to individual cases). There is an increased chance that, if attacked, I can defend myself more effectively.

      • Defend yourself more effectively by murdering someone potentially…. I just have a pet peeve against people using the “stand your ground” defense as a way to devalue human life. It’s hard to make an ethical decision when you feel threatened, and some means of self defense besides maybe a baseball bat is necessary. I don’t want to question the sanctitty of one’s family, the desire to defend them by any means necessary, and the value of one’s property that isn’t to be violated, but some people seem too trigger happy about defending themselves. My ex BF, a gun-loving country-ass white trash ex-Marine, didn’t even lock his doors; he’d leave me downstairs alone with his back door unlocked, where I would be the first, most accessible rape or violence victim before he even woke up and had the chance to grab a gun. The whole thing felt like all bark and no bite, where he should have taken precautions such as actually locking his fucking door and perhaps getting an alarm system, instead of making it EASIER for intruders to intrude, thus giving him an excuse to shoot.

  4. This post means a lot to me. I’m currently struggling with the fact my new marine boyfriend has several guns, which tempts my self destructive preoccupations. I suppose where there’s a will, there’s a way, but if I chose suicide, that would be my method of choice; I’m too scared for wrist cutting, jumping off something etc. I have access to enough pills for suicide, but I’ve only been tempted once, promptly making myslef throw up. Guns make me very nervous and I hate how media spin post-Sandy Hook reverts back to focusing on the wrong things. Your post explains exactly how I feel about gun safety. I’m happy to say I’ve had the sense to check into hospitals twice when I was spiraling. Pick up the phone and dial 9-1-1, not the gun!

  5. Yeah, people who cannot cope with their lives without professional intervention should not have access to guns. They may end up shooting themselves or someone else. Until you can find a way to positively identify those people and disarm them without running afoul of their rights or the rights of others, however, it’s not a particularly fixable problem on the supply end.

    Mandatory storage laws? Delaying someone being able to access a gun will also cost them time when they are under attack and seeking a means of defense, which is a *constitutional right*. Are you seriously claiming that if it only took a couple of extra seconds to access the gun, someone wouldn’t end up committing suicide? My right to defend myself and my family should not be predicated on the emotional state of someone who is that wildly unstable. Sorry, but that’s just the way it goes. Suicide is treated like it doesn’t matter in the debate over gun violence because it *doesn’t*.

    Look, Dakota Meyer had a gun when he was feeling suicidal. A buddy of his, realizing what a bad place he was in, simply removed the ammunition from it. That’s the way it should be done: relationally, not some inane, top-down, hamfisted approach which would be completely unenforceable and would (as always) affect no one except those stupid enough to obey the law.


  1. [...] make some headway as far as the suicide and mental health stigma. Which is why I’m plugging this post from TheGoodMenProject. Share this:TwitterEmailGoogle +1RedditStumbleUponDiggFacebookLike [...]

  2. [...] for their own safety or just because they can. Teenagers will have greater access to guns, and with young men statistically more prone to violence and suicide, we could see the number of gun fatalities [...]

  3. [...] So here’s another sad little fact; I honestly think that if I’d lived in the US, I would be dead by now, thanks to their messed up gun laws (guess what a majority of death by guns are a result of?). [...]

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