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I’m a sucker for the red carpet. Call me a metrosexual, go right ahead. My favorite personality these days is Ross Matthews, who will be covering the red carpet for E! and is as gay as a little boy who just tasted cotton candy for the first time (that means, happy, fellas). But I digress.
One of the most popular articles on The New York Times recently is “How to Wear a Tux“:
THIS Sunday, scores of men — some celebrated actors, others appendages to famous glamour-pusses — will expose themselves to the scrutiny of the world and, more alarmingly, Joan Rivers as they stride the red carpet at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood. Most are likely to be clad in what is surely among the more foolproof dress uniforms ever devised: the tuxedo. Yet few will manage to get it right. Why is that?
The piece is one long man-bashing scream about how a monkey suit is the easiest damn thing in the world to wear properly but us knuckle draggers all seem to get it wrong.
Then there is my man Sacha Baron Cohen (last seen is a neon green banana suit) who is in a fight with the Academy over whether he can come dressed as a dictator.
Of course no one gives a rats ass what the guys wear, and I am steaming mad about it. The idea, the expectation, the outright mandate that we dress in this boring black and white jump suit invented by a bunch of guys sitting around in a hunting lodge (okay, I only know that because I was married in Tuxedo Park) is insulting, sexist, and cannot go on.
It’s about the dresses and I think us guys should have an equal right to wear color, to bring the bling, to get the spotlight. My friends would tell you I’m the first guy just dying to show up for a formal event in rare beef, diamonds galore, and precious little material covering my “tender parts,” as my 7 year-old son calls them. Bring on the see-through, the shaping of my backside, the scoop tops, and the People Magazine reviews.
It’s just not fair. Next time you are invited to a black tie affair, don’t go black. Go sheer purple with the bright yellow cover up.
About Tom Matlack
Other than a Tuxedo and a bow tie, to signify attire to a glitzy event, one wouldn’t know whether men dressed in suits are set to go to a funeral, from someone going to a board meeting/job interview, to x-mas party, or perhaps to a wedding, right? Men can have ONE outfit for all of these occasion! So if that’s the case, a lot of money is saved. Other than colour, I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference from one black suit to the next without zeroing in on subtle details. I guess the “advantage”, or point of men wearing such bland suits… could be that this would allow his “arm candy” to take the spotlight, and contrast her glamorous gown against his. Because women are more beautiful than men! And people tune in to watch the Oscars for the fashion, not who wins!
Why shouldn’t men be allowed to flaunt their physiques through fashion at public events. The Heavy Hand may be hovering over the red carpet at the Oscar’s, but not so at “the Super Bowl of Motorsport,” the Daytona 500, which takes place the same day. Check out the guy in the first photo in this blogpost, you’ll see what I mean…
http://manupin10lessons.com/2012/02/24/nascar-good-clean-fun-or-the-end-of-civilization-as-we-know-it/
I’ve always felt short changed when it comes to men’s fashion. Of course, it wasn’t always the case that men played the drab counterpoint to women’s haute couture. The Middle Ages, Renaissance, and right on through the Enlightenment, saw men arraying themselves in finery that was as colorful and original in design as anything on the runways of Paris or Milan today. I guess that’s why I’ve always been a sucker for costume dramas, Ren fairs, and the like. I’d love to see someone show up on the red carpet in a modern interpretation of a High Gothic (as in medieval) nobleman’s outfit. Who knows, it might start a trend.
It was particularly interesting in the late 18th Century, where the gender roles of clothing were pretty much reversed from where they are now. Men wore these glorious pimpin’ outfits in royal blue and purple and pink and orange (one would hope, not all at once), while women tended to be dressed quite blandly. My history teacher compared it to ‘peacocks and peahens’.
I’m a more of a Utilikilt Kind of Guy — http://www.utilikilts.com/ Look for the Tuxedo Model….
I think that’s hot… especially the shirtless men wearing them
I’ve always thought Michael Jackson was a ground-breaker when it came to fashion. I really enjoyed his taste in military and princely ensembles; and some of his stage costumes were futuristic and flashy looking. If actresses dress like princesses on the red carpet, I think the men could try dressing like princes
— we’d get more men watching the Oscars. I don’t watch the oscars currently, but I would definitely tune in if men wore something else! Come on, it’s a fashion show and we all know it!
OMG….this is so hilarious! Thanks for making my day!
That was a day in Oscar red carpet infamy when the South Park creators, Matt Stone and Trey Parker, showed up in those ridiculous dresses (a la JLo and Gwyneth)….
BTW, those are really good men: Jake Gyllenhal and Sasha Baron Cohen!
Don’t forget when Trey Parker and Matthew Stone went to the Oscars in drag. Apparently, they were on acid when they did it. (Hey, no judgment from ME!)
The green dress was a knock-off of a famous dress worn by J-Lo, while the pink was worn by Paltrow when she won her Oscar… I prefer the green one, and his hair is perfect!
http://auntiefashion.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/trey-parker-matt-stone.jpg
I’m all for letting guys wear gowns to the Oscar if they want to – but let’s not tear down the elegant and endlessly variable tuxedo to do it.
That’s right, variable. Far from the undifferentiated jumpsuit you imply, the tuxedo allows men a world of self-expression almost as wide as women’s formal gowns. You do know, for example, that tuxedos at black tie events can be blue as well as black? (Some bold souls even wear claret, burgundy, bottle green, or plum. Not as formal, but certainly acceptable at the Oscars where some folks are so juvenile they wear what appears to be Dan Aykroyd’s costume from the Blues Brothers.) You can even wear a snazzy two-tone. (Did you see Zachary Quinto’s or Bradley Cooper’s jackets, for instance?) Even in basic black, do you honestly see no difference between Gary Oldman’s outfit and Colin Firth’s? Or Tom Hanks’?
Blue or black; peak, notch, or shawl; double or single breasted; waistcoat or cummerbund; flat front or pleated; wool, mohair, silk, velvet, or some combination; bird’s eye, herringbone, damask – and endless array of weaves and tonal patterns; the suit alone is as complicated a fashion minefield as any woman’s dress. What about the shirt? Pique or pleats – or ruffles for the really bold. What gauge of pleats? Want to wear some bling like the ladies? Hello shirt studs. Like flowers? Wear a boutonniere, or even a tonal floral pattern on the jacket or waistcoat. Pining for those shiny bowed patent leather pumps the gals get to wear? Nothing is more traditional with a tuxedo.
Want to show off your curves and figure? Get it cut well. Better yet, wear white-tie – those tailcoats only really look good on those who go to the gym, which is probably why no one wears them anymore even though they are really the proper accompaniment to the long evening gowns of the Oscar night women. (If you want to see the difference made in whit-tie by both physique and care, compare the chiseled and meticulous Hugh Jackman of a few years back with the pudgy and slovenly Billy Crystal last week)
So, by all means, open it up to any man who wants to dare a plunging neckline, form-fitting buttocks, or flowing train. But don’t hate on the heroic and sensual tuxedo in the process. It is, to quote Fran Lebowitz from the very Times article you cite, “this perfect thing to wear.”