I get the impression she doesn’t need to know what U.N.C.L.E. stands for…

I know you’ve been lying awake at night worrying that you’re not sexting right.

Do you look creepy in your self-portraits? Is “boob” not a sexy enough word? What does CU46 stand for??

As always, Gizmodo is here to help!

I know it seems dumb to the youngsters in our audience, but some of us weren’t born with Smartphones in our mitts, and as people enter the dating market (maybe for a second time), they may need a little help!

Some of the advice is obvious, like “Don’t use Siri” and “Don’t sext a stranger”, but others are awesome and very true like “Don’t sext drunk unless you’re both drunk.” Seems so obvious, and yet so insightful.

Most importantly, they offer this acronym to help you get a great dirty photo of yourself:

Use proper lighting
Never take pictures of a (your?) penis
Clean up your room
Leave something to the imagination
Expect your cock shots to eventually leak onto the internet.

So if you’re about to dive into a new, sexy phase of your life, cruise over to Gizmodo so you can be (moderately) sure you don’t make an asshole of yourself.

Photo of sexy woman and cell phone courtesy of Shutterstock