Hesham A. Hassaballa shares how his faith shows him day-to-day how blessed he is.
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Faith is everything to me. I am a born-and-raised American of the Muslim faith, and I simply cannot see my life without God and faith deeply infused into it. It defines my worldview; it circumscribes my belief system; it brings clarity to a world that can quickly become blurry from the fog of suffering and misery.
I was born into a Muslim family, and my parents did the best they could to raise me as a devout Muslim. Yet, in college, after being exposed to different religions and philosophies, I had a serious crisis of faith. Rather than leave Islam, I redoubled my commitment to it, for I could see no other faith that made sense to me. And ever since that time, I have been on a journey to deepen my love for and relationship with God.
Nowadays, being Muslim can be a great liability due to the incessant negative coverage of Islam and Muslims in the media. For sure, there are savages that commit unspeakable crimes in the name of my faith, and part of my mission as a writer is to unceasingly speak out against such savagery. But those savages do not tell the true story of Islam for the vast majority of Muslims, including myself. I read the very same scripture as them, but I come away with a completely different view of God and faith, and it is this worldview that has brought me comfort time and again.
That worldview was my savior when my wife and I lost our 12-year-old daughter to cancer more than six years ago. Losing a child was the most painful, horrific experience I have ever had, and if it were not for my faith, I would have lost my mind by now. But because my faith continually encourages me to “flee unto God,” as the Qur’an says, it has given me a comfort that no human being on this earth today could ever offer. My faith assures me that my daughter will be waiting for me at the gates of Paradise, and thus all I am trying to do is a live a good life full of piety and obedience to God so I can be with her again, this time for eternity.
One may think that my faith would be challenged as a critical care physician, where I take care of the sickest patients admitted to the hospital: the ICU. The truth is, however, being a doctor in the ICU has only increased my faith.
I am so blessed to be in this field. I can witness firsthand the majesty of God’s creation: the human body and all its wondrous systems and workings. Moreover, given all the advances in medical treatments and technology with which God has blessed our field, I can also witness the power of His healing firsthand. In addition, my faith teaches me that life and death are not in my hands, but in God’s. This has kept me grounded in humility, which is extremely important to me. It is all too easy to become arrogant as a doctor: with a few medications and procedures, I can take a patient from the brink of death to health and stability.
But there are times when, despite all that we do, people unfortunately do not get better. There are times when, just like with my daughter, God has willed for that person to pass away. Having faith gives me peace when this happens, and I frequently lean on that faith to help comfort and counsel those family and friends who have to deal with loss of their loved one. In addition, being a “physician of faith” gives me versatility in dealing with family members of sick patients. If they are religious, I can speak the language of faith, and it helps deepen our connection and rapport, which can be very important in the ICU.
The gift of faith is one for which I can never fully repay the Lord. I have done nothing to deserve it, and there is nothing special about me to merit such an amazing blessing. And so I am trying my hardest to live a life of righteousness and piety – as a husband, a father, a son, a citizen, a neighbor, a writer and a physician – in gratitude to Him for that gift. And I pray that at the end of it all, I can have made – through the Grace and Mercy of God – our world a better place.
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This piece on faith originally appeared on MariaShriver.com. To read their entire Faith Series click here.
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