Mom’s Legacy
ME: What legacy would you like to leave your grandchildren?
MOM: Oh my goodness. Well, I think I received from my parents a legacy that they loved me and that their basic feeling about life was that it was good and that happiness was possible and beauty and joy were accessible. And I hope very much that that’s something I’ve been able to carry in my own life such that you three have that in your bloodstreams.
There’s a sentence about legacy that I like: “the life you live is the legacy you leave.”
So I guess at one level, that’s what I am leaving my grandchildren, for better or worse. It’s the live I’ve lived. I hope they also know that I am deeply, deeply interested in them and their lives. I love them, but I hope they know that, for sure. But I think in terms of legacy itself, I think probably I hope that they see in my life that I’ve taken risks and lived passionately and made mistakes. Everybody does. I hope they might see that I’ve learned from my mistakes or that learning came from my mistakes until now. I guess that’s the best I feel like I can say. At one level, it seems to me one doesn’t assess one’s own legacy one leaves. That’s for those who come afterwards—
Photo: our family camp in Maine
Next: A Cherished Moment
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About Tom Matlack
Vocalyze
I loved this interview. My mother’s parents were Presbyterian missionaries to Cuba. When I was 9, my family lived In Mexico and I remember my mother putting Pearl Buck’s The Good Earth in my hand and telling me how much she identified with her, for the love of adventure, the giving to others, the religious background, and the fact that both were adoptive mothers.
And about your mother–she sounds like a fascinating woman and it’s remarkable what she accomplished given the fact that she often felt depressed and isolated. Thanks for sharing her with us.
Very cool Pauline. Thanks for reading. Glad we have that Presbyterian missionarie blood in common…
A nice article.
We are the same age, Tom. My mother did not join the feminist movement and revolutions of the 60s. My father was dean of a law school and very establishment-oriented, and she devoted herself to support of his career. Instead she subconsciously channeled her objections to the patriarchal system through me – and my father made me his intellectual ally and friend because my mother could not – or would not – relate to him on that level.
So I see some parallels in growing up in revolutionary times, which in some sense continue today.
I too have suffered from isolation and depression, and I have no doubt that both my parents did as well, although it was never diagnosed.
Great work you and others at the GMP are doing in getting the realities of these personal subconsciouses and the collective subconsciouses on the table so we can all deal with them and not be driven by them any more – including children having experiences with their parents that lead to the depressions and isolations in adulthood.