The Guy’s Guide to Feminism: Two Excerpts

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About Michael Kaufman

Michael Kaufman is a writer and educator who’s worked for 30 years engaging men and boys to promote gender equality and transform our ideas of good men. He’s the co-founder of the White Ribbon Campaign, the largest effort in the world of men working to end violence against women. Author of 9 books, his latest is The Guy’s Guide to Feminism. @GenderEQ www.michaelkaufman.com www.michaelkaufman.com/facebook

Comments

  1. Mark Neil says:

    I think Erin Pizzey covers this pretty well here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhliqceyoL8

  2. You know what I’ll agree with Mark? That people of any race or gender who have been through hell? May make good activists but unless they also do healing work on themselves (“my dad’s a shit so all men are shits”, as Pizzey stated also goes for “My mom was abusive so women are abusive”) or any movement they make will mirror dysfunction.

    I firmly believe that about any group. The healthier the members the healthier the group.

    For me? I didn’t grow up thinking men were rapists or shits or evil, nor did I feel women were, and my politics and my understanding and experience of various social justice movements reflects that.

    If people have been abused and not heard and then form groups to stop the abuse and mix it not with compassion but with anger, you get what you get. And I’d say that goes for Men’s Rights groups as well as Feminists or any other ism so far as I can tell. And what I’ve been seeing from an outsider perspective is a whole lot of cycles.

    • Valter Viglietti says:

      Julie, you hit the nail on the head.
      And I’d add that, the bigger the issues one has, the higher s/he will tend to dis-own them, project them onto others (“all men are jerks”, “all women are bitches”…), and be less likely to hear any opposing opinion.
      We can easily see this in enraged radical feminists and MRAs as well. They’re literally blinded by their (unresolved) emotions.

      Alas, human beings are not rational creatures (mostly), thus expecting them to be aware of their issues is idealistic. Some do, most don’t.

      • We can easily see this in enraged radical feminists and MRAs as well. They’re literally blinded by their (unresolved) emotions.
        Yes. Those emotions emenate from old wounds that must be properly healed. I think that’s one of the big barriers that a lot of people face. They were simply not able to heal those wounds and the pain still persists for months, years, even decades after the initial event.

        • Eagle34 says:

          Danny: “Yes. Those emotions emenate from old wounds that must be properly healed. I think that’s one of the big barriers that a lot of people face. They were simply not able to heal those wounds and the pain still persists for months, years, even decades after the initial event.”

          Don’t forget, Danny, that they also likely couldn’t find any support for those wounds either no matter how loudly they yelled.

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