In living in a world with 6.75 billion other human beings, we run up against each other all the time. Theresa Byrne wants you not to take things so personally.
Our wants and desires might not be the same as someone else. We will clash. We will disagree. We may be at odds even our closest friends—and with what they want—when it’s not what we desire. It’s how we handle these times that matters most. I count myself in that “we” because I couldn’t teach these lessons on any scale it if I didn’t go through them as well.
In self-defense I often teach that others are just trying to “get what they want”. Anyone from the creeper to the predator: they may be trying to get a certain reaction out of you, or trying to cause harm. If this is done through abuse, coercion, manipulation, force, fear, intimidation, attacking, or demeaning then that’s a person that’s trying to take what they want from us. It happens with both men and women, both can be predators. (See the article on Why We Don’t Do Crazy). Our job is to protect ourselves from that; from being “taken.” And to stay in our power no matter what.
When someone crosses the boundaries we’ve set, they are showing us that what they want is more important than our boundaries. What they want is more important that what we are asking.
It could be a boundary like telling a stranger “don’t come any closer” or telling your boss “don’t call me at home after work hours,” or asking your girlfriend to stop drinking more than two drinks when you’re out with friends.
In real life, the kind where people aren’t harming each other, this looks more like a disagreement—and “I want X, you want Y” kind of scenario—
but when someone seemingly intentionally causes harm, it’s hard not to take that personally!
If we can step outside the judgement of it and not focus on making them bad or wrong, we can see that maybe harm wasn’t their intention but just the outcome.
—originally posted at www.TheresaByrne.com
—modified photo Andrew Yee / Flickr Creative Commons