Being Super is a life long practice—one that involves the head, heart and a lot of courage. Oh, and plenty of crazy too.
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Every year a new superhero movie —if not several—is released and makes tons of money. “Man of Steel”, “Iron Man 3”, “Wolverine” and “Thor” are some of the most recent and each of them has done very well because, well, we want to see them. Especially guys. And a lot of guys my age that have kids.
I think this is significant. Aside from the fact that the action, special effects, and archetypal narrative arc are satisfying if not awesome—I think that the very idea of a “superhero” is compelling to boys, men and definitely fathers because it taps into a very common and enduring masculine need: to have a mission. Superheroes have purpose. They have unique skills that only they can bring to world—and whether or not they want to step forward, the world demands it. We boys, men, dads—love that stuff. We love the idea of being needed to accomplish a very important task that only we can accomplish. We line up for it.
I have been working on a superhero story for the past few years about a seemingly ordinary husband, father and elementary school teacher (me) who learns that he has the “mark” of a superhero. The moment he decides to rediscover lost superpowers from his youth, his eyes are opened to community of curious local folk who teach him How To Be Super. It is a funny story filled with insights and wisdom that I have learned over the years as a teacher and storyteller. It is a popular story on our website and I’m always curious who is listening—the children or their parents?
I’ve enjoyed writing it, telling it, performing it and what is most significant is when the dads step forward and confess they have had the same story pushing through them. They remember the ‘powers’ they thought they had when they were kids and how nice it was to remember them. When they tell me these stories, however, there is always a lilt in their tone, a kind of regret. Like they lost something important to them.
And so I think there is work to be done. I think—even though it is a clearly quixotic and a little crazy—that it is time to be superheroes again. Time to remember our lost super powers and start using them. And a little imagination is definitely in order. This will help with all the doubt, regret and confusion that so many men swim in these days. This will help with the central question so many men struggle to answer, “What is my mission?”
There are books and therapists and workshops galore that can also help answer that question—but for a superhero, the method is much more intuitive and fanciful. To find your mission, there are four clear steps in every superhero’s process:
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Keep your eyes open. In other words, pay attention—notice the details because only in the details will you see what other people miss. Superman can hear someone cry for help when no one else notices.
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Believe it. Things are only crazy if you doubt. If you believe in your own crazy then the crazy becomes super. Spiderman accepts who he is instead of doubting such powers could be possible.
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Do Something Brave. Everything up to this point is an idea unless you do something about it. Save a cat, rescue a child, speak up at a meeting, confront your child’s coach. Iron Man drops all sense of self preservation to carry a nuclear bomb far away from New York City.
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Tell No One. This is why superheroes wear costumes—anonymity. No one must know your true identity because then it becomes about you and not your mission. Don’t confuse mission with identity. They are two very different things. Clark Kent, Peter Parker, Bruce Wayne are not looking for applause or praise.
Being Super is a life long practice—one that involves the head, heart and a lot of courage. Oh, and plenty of crazy too.
Over the next few weeks we will unpack each of these four steps to “Becoming Super” and by Halloween we will be able to wear our superhero outfits with pride and authenticity. Next week – “Keeping our Eyes Open”
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Feature Photo: AP File/Rex Features
Photos: Courtesy of David Sewell McCann