Danny Baker gives some go-to comebacks to combat some of the worst things said to someone with depression.
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Since you guys loved my The 10 Best And Worst Things You Can Say To Someone With Depression post, I thought I’d do a follow up listing the best comebacks to some of the “worst” things sufferers hear each day.
1. “Depression isn’t real.”
Comeback: “It’s much more real than your imaginary medical expertise.”
2. “You have nothing to be depressed about! You’ve got a great life!”
Comeback: “That’s like saying to an asthmatic, ‘Of course you can breathe! There’s lots of air everywhere!’ ”
3. “But you don’t look like you have a mental illness.”
Comeback: “That’s because I’m disguised as a human being today.”
4. “It’s all in your head.”
Comeback: “As opposed to where? Up my ass?”
5. “But you can’t be depressed—there are so many people who are worse off than you!”
Comeback: “Well then you can’t be happy, because there are so many people who are better off than you.”
Now let me be clear here: I’m not advocating responding like this the first time someone says one of these things to you. As irritating as it may be, it’s usually just due to ignorance rather than anything mean-spirited, in which case I think the best response is to try and educate the person—explain to them that depression is an illness that needs to be taken seriously, and try to make them understand why what they said isn’t true and why it annoyed you. But if that doesn’t work and they keep repeating the same shit over and over again, then why not get a little feisty and give it right back to them?
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If you enjoyed reading my post, I encourage you to visit my website and download a FREE copy of The Danny Baker Story – How I came to write “I will not kill myself, Olivia” and found the Depression Is Not Destiny Campaign – which is my memoir recounting my struggle and eventual triumph over depression. I wrote it so that sufferers of the illness could realise they are not alone – that there are other people out there who have gone through the same excruciating misery, and who have made it through to the other side. I also wrote it so that I could impart the lessons I learned on the long, rocky, winding road that eventually led to recovery – so that people could learn from my mistakes as well as my victories – particularly with regards to relationships; substance abuse; choosing a fulfilling career path; seeking professional help; and perhaps most importantly, having a healthy and positive attitude towards depression that enables recovery. Multiple-bestselling author Nick Bleszynski has described it as “beautifully written, powerful, heartfelt, insightful and inspiring … a testament to hope.”
Photo: Sander van der Wel/flickr
My favorite response to ‘It’s all in your head!’ has always been ‘Yes, you have correctly defined mental illness. Would you like a prize?’
Snarky responses are the best way to deal with this. Great list.
Danny, Love the site and come backs. I have been suffering depression on and off (mostly on) for the past forty years. Stemming from initially unresolved childhood abuse and then chronic pain. There are no medications that really fix these problems so I have no illusions of coming out the other side of depression. I have learned to live with it although friendships are limited to those who actually have an inkling of what the term ‘depression’ means. I’m not asking for advice but just sharing a part of my story. These come backs will help me to deal with… Read more »
Thanks for the list of comebacks. I am usually too little too late. But I think that one of the worst things someone can say to a person suffering with depression is “just snap out of it.” It ain’t that easy, if it was we wouldn’t be suffering. It took me a long time to even admit to having depression. I told myself, I am not crazy. It isn’t a mental illness, it is a physical one. And just like people have to take medication for diabetes, asthma, cancer, etc., I have to take medication for this. People who haven’t… Read more »
This list will come in handy. Thank you. So many well meaning but clueless folks. (Hope this is not a duplicate comment. I think I lost my previous one).
Cheers, S
I’m glad you like it, Sara 🙂
I still recommend trying to educate the people first – but if they still don’t get it after you’ve tried, then why not stand up for yourself? Don’t let anyone put you down 🙂