Following Clarisse Thorn and Amanda Marcotte, Rachel White offers more pickup advice for guys.
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Hitting on people can be hard, so I can empathize with guys who feel they need to use pickup tactics to meet women—sort of. (Maybe you’ve heard of “negs?” I once had a guy come up to me and say: “Oh those shoes look comfortable.” I turned around and hobbled away.) Aside from being just groan-worthy, seduction-community tactics are ethically and practically problematic and often, plainly, sexist. But the PUA approach is tempting for guys who have social anxiety—and a resulting awkwardness—around women. I understand that the fear of rejection can be paralyzing.
On this site, Clarisse Thorn recently offered ethical dating advice for men who might otherwise be lured by pickup artistry. Amanda Marcotte responded with a smart, useful article which can be boiled down to three essential maxims: 1) women are your sexual equals, 2) go after women who are in your league (with whom you have common interests), and 3) find some real self-confidence, kid.
These are necessary starting points. But I want to get specific about the actual pickups themselves, because I’ve been a victim of poorly executed pickups, as have most girls I know. There is nothing wrong with picking someone up in a bar, but you can do it with integrity—and without a furry hat.
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The Approach:
When I was single and going out to “unz unz” nightclubs, I didn’t hook up with guys who approached me. The approach throws me out of my comfort zone. Here’s why: women get this shit all the time. We get it waiting for the bus at 7 a.m., carrying our groceries home, hobbling in heels: unwanted howls, name-calls, and come-ons. Sudden strange attention throws us into an scary, uncomfortable space we’re all too familiar with—and want out of. This is why my advice to guys is don’t approach randomly. Try letting women come to you.
Looking back on my $13 martini days, I did hook up with a lot of guys I approached. I chose guys who made friendly eye contact with me, who smiled, who struck up a conversation when we were near each other and unoccupied.
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The Opener:
You’ve experienced a pickup if you’ve heard things like, “Hey, what’s this from: ‘Nobody puts Baby in a corner’?” or “You look like trouble.” To which, four years ago, I would be like, “No, I’m ‘&Hearts’; ‘Trouble’ is Katie’s MySpace name. I think she’s here, though.”
But I get it—opening conversations can be tough. So here is my secret tip: smile and say hi.
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The Conversation:
It can be hard keeping a conversation going. My recommendation is to be in the moment—be spontaneous, not rehearsed. And be real—true to yourself and the things you care about.
After “Hi,” try some personal insight—it doesn’t have to be worked out all the way. Open with how strange life is instead of how weird the weather has been. The best conversations aren’t ones where you talk about movies and TV and books and music, but about your ideas and feelings in the moment—about what it’s like to experience this odd life. It’s about getting at the human experience. It’s about sparking empathy as well as interesting conversation. Finding yourself in one of these conversations feels like suddenly finding yourself stranded on an island with this person.
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The Consent
Back in those nightclubs, it wasn’t rare that I’d find my Long Island–swilling wing-lady trapped. There she would be, cornered, clearly uncomfortable, as she recited “312-728 …” to some creep with his cellphone out.
Often, women can’t say no to giving out the number when asked. Most of us are brought up from an early age to be cordial and accommodating. This is why my own cellphone is filled with multiple contacts named “Do Not Answer.”
So? Pay attention. Is she enthusiastic about talking to you? Is she warm toward you? Engaging you further? If not, don’t keep on her—or ask for her number, for chrissake! And because, apparently, it needs to be said: if you continually send a woman messages online or via text and she doesn’t respond—back off. Being relentless may work in the movies, but in the real world it’s called harassment.
Clarisse shared a particularly dark ploy of pickup when it comes to sex: the freeze out. It’s where a girl says she doesn’t want to go any further and the PUA relies on passive aggressiveness—instead of the less fancy aggressive aggressiveness—to pressure her. If they are in bed, he will turn away, check his phone, blow out the candles. Again, women are conditioned to keep the peace, to keep others from being angry at us. We are taught that what we have to offer socially is our looks, our sexuality. For this reason, it becomes easy for her to cave when the guy pulls away emotionally. Guys, do you really want to have sex with someone who doesn’t want to have sex with you?
If you’re hooking up, know it is partly your responsibility as a sex partner to gauge how connected and enthusiastic the other half seems, and communicate. (This becomes necessary, for example, if your partner is drunk.)
You’ll have sex when the girl wants to have sex with you too—it’s a partnered dance. Prepare for the possibility that it might take more than one night (sorry). Gauge your partner’s enthusiasm and participation level; great sex comes when both partners are communicating and on the same page.
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Understanding Women? Understand Yourself
PUAs use neuro-linguistic programming tactics, a part of cognitive behavioral therapy, to manipulate women through verbal ticks, pauses, body language … spinning hypnotist wheels pulled from a back pocket (which probably doubles as “peacocking gear”).
But why not use psychology to understand yourself? Facing why you are scared of hitting on women, analyzing why your relationships have failed, and engaging in some self-work is going to be more help with women than any hack.
Rejection is scary—we all want to be accepted. The fear of hitting on people is a shared human experience. What’s also shared is that none of us are perfect at it. At times, we are all going to mess up, say something stupid (You’re hot!), and blow an opportunity (whether real or imagined).
Pickup artistry might temporarily mask your insecurity, but it won’t address it in any meaningful way. Real confidence comes from accepting and loving yourself, not manipulating others’ insecurities.
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Rachel Rabbit White is a journalist and blogger whose beat is sex, gender, and relationships. Don’t tell anyone, but she once made out with someone who was on Mystery’s reality TV show: The Pick-up Artist. Follow her on twitter for more strange confessions.
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—Photo State Library of New South Wales/Flickr
A few things bother me about woman-to-man dating advice, in a general sense. Hopefully my criticisms are constructive enough, though they are much more basic than either feminism or what I would call PUA pop-Darwinism. I would say they have more to do with mutuality: 1) As much as I might identify with some of the advice given here, it is hard for me to take that advice seriously until the advice-giver has tried it herself. And, unfortunately, a lot of women`s standards for what constitutes a pick up are, in my experience, very low. Until you can actually initiate… Read more »
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I don’t take dating advice from woman because 9 times out of 10, she’s telling you what she WANTS to be true and not what IS true. Amanda’s maxim about going after woman in your league is exactly the type of advice that has men laughing at woman’s advice. A shy guy might as well give up if he’s thinking about taking that advice. Anything that doesn’t come naturally from yourself can be seen as a pickup tactic. A friend telling you to go say “Hi” isn’t any different then a PUA telling you to go say “Hey ma what’s… Read more »
All you girls giving advice, be it the author of this article, women in the comments section, or anywhere else on the internet, there is a very specific term for you in the PU community – it’s called Keyboard Jockey. In simpler words, people who just talk/post on the internet but never take any action. If you are so confident that your advice works, take on the following challenge. Find a guy in your area/city in his 20s who has very little to zero experience with women (You will be surprised how many of them are out there, who are… Read more »
“3) find some real self-confidence, kid.” While we’re on the subject of derogatory here, I would suggest NOT calling a man kid or boy or such. It’s talk like this that gives me social anxiety towards women. A moment that really sticks out for me in in high school, I was about 14 or so, and girls would refer to some of my classmates as guys but me as kid. It stung. Since then, I’ve always felt that calling someone “kid” is a way of saying you think you’re better than them. I’ve also heard this from other guys when… Read more »
How is this helping shy guys?
All it talks about is how a woman tries to get one up on pickup artists.
I apologize for the disjointed comments above, but all of “Mark’s” comments appear to have been deleted by the moderators, so now my side of the argument doesn’t make a while lot of sense.
“Oh those shoes look comfortable.” That’s actually a great line. At first I read it like he was making a joke about wanting to wear your shoes or buy some like them :). Then I realized that the honesty involved is pretty good; how many women would just respond “These shoes ARE KILLING ME!”?
I have no obligation to provide men with casual sex if I prefer to have sex only in the context of a relationship. personally, I need to feel emotionally attached to a man before I want to share the intimate side of my physical and emotional self with him. That’s just me, obviously there are women who have no problem with random hookups and more power to them. That’s not my scene however. I am not asking for “payment” in the form of a relationship. I am simply not interested otherwise, just as a man wouldn’t be interested if he… Read more »
If a man intentionally leads me to believe that he is willing to meet my emotional needs, knowing full well he isn’t going to, yes I would consider that being used. If I make it clear to a man up front that I am not interested in casual NSA sex, then I am not deceiving him in any way. If he lies to me about what he really wants, then he has deceived me. I’m not sure if by your definition there are any relationships that are not “commodified”. If I want a man to care about my physical needs… Read more »
Clarification, I meant to type “even if I only want a man to care about my physical needs” (as opposed to emotional needs).
Mark, I said in my original post that if I don’t understand PUA, then I am interested in being educated. Every time women try to discuss the PUA movement, the response is “women just don’t understand what PUA is really about.” Okay, so what IS it about then? Lacking any other information, all I can do is go by the PUA literature, books and blogs that I have read. And yes, a lot of it does seem to be about how to bang the hottest women possible, preferably with no strings attached, by any means necessary — including emotional manipulation… Read more »
Sarah, it’s 3:00 in the morning, and I’m freaking tired, and let’s just be honest here, you’ve written like 8 pages of comments here and I’m not going to read them all before I pass out. But you really seem like you have your head screwed on straight, and I like your take on gender relations/politics. I’m also really well versed in the so-called “pua” scene (Jesus H that term makes me cringe) and I’d be absolutely thrilled to explain the whole shebang to you, at your leisure; Here or a venue of your choice. Hit me up, captainawesome(at)bellsouth.net
So you’re telling me that if a famous actor that you have an amazing crush on came onto you, you wouldn’t have sex with him without being in a serious committed relationship with him.
No, I wouldn’t. I have met guys I was very attracted to and could have had sex but didn’t. It’s called self control.
Why would I forego having sex with someone I’m attracted to? There are dozens of possible reasons why I would not hop into bed with a guy every time opportunity knocks. If I did do that, I’m sure you’d come up with some very nice words for me. One of the rhymes with “but”. However, that’s not the only reason. This may surprise you, but not every is obessessed with having the maximum possible amount of sex. The world is full of many other interesting and amazing things.
I’ve noticed that when women try to discuss PUA, a lot of guys respond by saying women don’t understand PUA and have it all wrong. But no one ever really explains what is is really about in that case. I’m willing to listen if anyone wants to educate me. This is my impression (again, if I’m wrong, tell me why) — I’ve read a lot of PUA literature, and it seems like it has some useful information about social skills and self-improvement combined with a lot of stuff that seems fake, manipulative, and even downright scary. I suppose the thing… Read more »
The stuff in this and Amanda’s article is the stuff that has worked for me. I think it scares a lot of guys away because it’s harder to be honest and vulnerable. Taking a long hard look at yourself sucks, because there’s so much you don’t want to see. The payoff can be big though.
Sarah i understand yr concern about being duped. However a naturally ‘interesting and fun’ guy can use his charms to find an ltr, OR to use a woman. The men currently using women are mostly natural charmers ,NOT men whove learnt pua skills
A natural charmer can use his skills for good or ill. A man who has learnt how to charm by pua, can use his skills for good or ill
That’s true, and most women learn to be suspicious of male motivations for that reason. You are always hoping to pick out the guy who really cares from among all the guys who are just pretending and really just want to get into your pants. The thing with PUA’s is that they seem to have made a science out of emotional manipulation, which I suppose is not that surprising since that’s what advertisers do every day on T.V. to get us to buy their crap. So it was probably only a matter of time before someone realized they could apply… Read more »
The problem is that none of the advice given actually works. PUA stuff WORKS and that’s what is important.
Sarah,
When you say you want to give men “better” advice, what is your actual goal in giving that advice? Do you actually want to help men be successful in meeting women(for casual sex, long term relationship, whatever), or are you simply preaching at men to do what would be most convenient for you?
Acctually I think a lot of female feminists would support you in this. A society where a woman was just as free to walk up to a man, try to initiate a sexual contact, and if declined move on. No hard feeling, no risk of personal harm, same as a man should be able to do without any shame or risk of harm. No manipulation.
Mark, I have to ask you, would you prefer it if women wore no make up? Baggy clothes? Would that be more honest? Men can tell if a women is wearing makeup and a push up bra. It’s not exactly deceptive. Or do guys feel enormous disappointment when they discover that their girlfriend isn’t as pretty first thing in the morning before she spackles over her face? Like they thought her eyelids were really colored blue or something? Is it deceptive to wear a suit to a job interview so you look professional? Is it deceptive to brush your teeth?… Read more »
You keep saying that women have done this for millions of years. If so, why are you so outraged at women? Aren’t we just doing what we are designed to do? If so aren’t men designed to respond? Why don’t men stop rewarding women for being beautiful, and start rewarding women for good character and personality, and all this would stop.
Oh, but men can’t help what they are attracted to.
“You keep saying that women have done this for millions of years. If so, why are you so outraged at women? Aren’t we just doing what we are designed to do? If so aren’t men designed to respond? Why don’t men stop rewarding women for being beautiful, and start rewarding women for good character and personality, and all this would stop.” This is a question I have wondered about for a long time. Why do women get away with really shitty behavior just for being good looking? Same question I have wondered about why Charlie Sheen manages to find wife… Read more »
Women who use their beauty to get what they want from men do it because it works — men fall for it. Men who use PUA tactics to get what they want from women do it because it works — women fall for it. You can choose to view this as purely biologically driven by millions of years of evolution, in which case neither men or women can be expected to change. Women can’t change their attraction to men as providers/accumulators any more than men can change their attraction to young beautiful women. No point even complaining about it really.… Read more »
Sarah – I, a loner,( gone from this game for years so you have nothing to worry about from me) just
wonder why women treat men as they do and then wonder why all these guys end up at PUA schools, going through the different scripts. And you are wondering about this?
Men tend to make things more complicated than they really have to, it’s just the way things are. I agree that meeting women can be scary especially if you’re a shy guy. But heres the facts. It’s a mans job usually to approach a woman and ask her out. This is why it’s important to actually go out and create the fun and interesting life that attracts others to you. If you are actually doing the unique things that you are talking about then theres no need to make them up. Yes, this is alot more work than taking the… Read more »
So break the cycle. Don’t pursue those types of women. Done.
Having thought it over a couple of days now, what bothers me most about Ms. White’s article is that she (along with Amanda Marcotte and Clarisse Thorn) seems more interested in scoring rhetorical points for the Feminist Team over the PUA crowd, than in offering worthwhile advice to men on the subject of meeting women. White’s piece in particular was mostly Feminist anti-PUA talking points with a very, very little advice thrown in as window dressing. If you want to editorialize against the PUAers, well, have at it, but don’t bother to pretend you have some advice on the subject… Read more »
Yeaaaaah, life doesn’t work like that. Women are always going to say “don’t approach” because they’re on the receiving end of ham-fisted approaches every fricken minute of the day. Most men “corner” women with an approach and make them feel terrible and awkward. But as any man with success or even any decent PUA will tell you, the approach is about making her feel as comfortable as possible. You keep your body language open and non threatening, you keep your tone and facial expressions positive, calm(ish) and fun. You make sure to keep the conversation fresh and interesting. And most… Read more »
love this.
Robb’s advice has been around since the early 2000’s. Welcome to the party.
This is exactly why some of us can’t take PUA critics all that seriously. It’s just too obvious that most have not bothered to research the subject with the diligence it deserves.
Robb,
You, sir, are suck-up. The patriarchy, if it ever really existed, is now in ruined shambles, but you still want to blame it for women being reluctant to approach men.
Patriarchy is one word, I would have said “blind adherence to gender roles/grooming on what little girls are supposed to do”. Why do you think women don’t approach men?
Why do I think women don’t approach men?
Well, because most women can be fairly certain that men will approach them, and it’s just easier to let men approach. It’s been my experience that women seem to be more likely to take the initiative in social situations where they feel it’s less likely that they will be approached. I know if I had women approaching me all the time, I would put a lot less thought and effort into meeting women.
This is a really good example of something I said earlier about learning to have a conversation and being aware of social cues. A lot of guys will steamroll a conversation, talk until the woman’s eyes are glazing over, say stupid things that obviously don’t impress her, make remarks that turn her off, or scare her with intimidating body language or an overbearing tone of voice. Then they feel rejected because she isn’t interested. To the extent PUA “training” improves these kinds of social interaction skills I think it could be valuable. But you dont have to dress it up… Read more »
Sarah, you’re propagating the classic stereotypical dynamic that men need to “impress and entertain” women to be considered.
When men say that women “talk too much” in conversation, I’m sure you take offense, though here, the same stereotype in reverse, just rolls off your tongue.
All the issues you mention as not impressing women in conversation, men say in reverse about women in conversation.
Funny that.
If you are in a job interview don’t you need to try to impress? If you are talking in a meeting don’t you need to impress? If you are invited to speak at a seminar don’t you need to be entertaining? If you are making conversation with anyone don’t you need to think about how you are coming across? So why do you expect it to be any different when you are talking to a woman? Women have to think about whether they are impressing and being entertaining as well.
Sarah says: … That would be a nice place to start. I’m sorry if that’s too vague but, honestly, so many guys just can’t carry their end of a conversation. Improving conversational skills doesn’t require fancy PUA tricks, it just requires practice and some sensitivity to social cues, like knowing when the other person is bored or uncomfortable. To the extent PUA “training” improves shy guys’ social skills then I have no problem with it, but I fear that too many guys are wasting their money thinking that a $1200 PUA seminar will teach them how to use mind control… Read more »
If you read my comment, I said you don’t need to dress up what are basically rules good social skills with NLP jargon or PUA mystique. I’m not denigrating NLP as a field of study. Also, it is not misandrist to say that a lot of men don’t know how to talk effectively with women. Isn’t that the same thing that PUA trainers say? Are PUA gurus misandrist when they tell guys they are doing it all wrong when it comes to meeting women?
Sorry Sarah, but if Charlie Sheen despite shooting one wife, threating another at knife point and assaulting a third and only being able to talk about himself and his needs, still manages to arouse women then your arguments come across as very very distant from reality.
The NLP jargon is an artifact of when the scene got started, because the Usenet group where all this originated was created by and for Ross Jeffries’ students. It later stuck, even when real life players began to come in– because many of them were looking at NLP as a tool to enhance the success they already had (i.e. get the girls that normally would not consider them their type).
Wow, I’ve gotta say how shocked I am that the approach section is throwing everyone off, definitely noted. What I meant in “don’t randomly approach” is to not ambush these women out of nowhere, to establish eye contact, to stand near/next to. To establish something. The asking me some weird question out of nowhere is what I personally find scary. But definitely, for me and a lot of my friends, approaching guys worked best. I approached my husband, a nerdy engineer who was wearing a pocket protector. He says he would never have approached me. And I do know that… Read more »
Im not particularly feminist friendly, I’m more on the egalitarian treat women as adults end of the spectrum.
Women already have a fairly well stocked armery of game accessories and tactics and a large media industry based on female game and gating advice, and this publications forays into dating advice are an extension of that female dominated scene. Also, casual sex comes very easy for women, women being the choosers.
I can’t take you seriously when you spell “men” with a z. It’s not a grammatical issue so much that everytime I see that particular spelling I know men’s experiences are being discounted out of hand.
I appreciate the tone of this post, which at least isn’t douchey like that of certain other people. And mostly the advice is good. In regards to the Approach section, though… seriously? I’d love to be proven wrong, but I just don’t think women approach men, as a rule. I don’t. I mean, maybe if you’re really attractive, but otherwise, no. I’d consider myself maybe a 6 out of 10 based on purely superficial looks, and this seems to be how other people perceive me too. No stud, but remember, I’m still more attractive than over half of men my… Read more »
I stopped taking Ms. White seriously when I came to this sentence: “Try letting women come to you”. Sorry, passivity doesn’t work for men, as any man who has ever tried it could tell you. She then goes on to claim that she has “approached” a lot of guys, but admits that she “chose” guys who struck up conversations with her! In other words she “approached” guys who had already made the first move. Frankly, I don’t think any woman can EVER know what a guy experiences while trying to meet women, and I think it’s a waste of time… Read more »
I have little experience approaching women using pick-up techniques or not. I have very little experience even seeing it happen with other people, so I don’t have a conclusion about whether PUA techniques “work” or not. Just a quasi-scientific question — Have these PUA programs done anything like a controlled experiment comparing using PUA and not using PUA? I can see the possibility of a “confidence placebo” effect like several people have mentioned. It’s also entirely possible that women are hooking up with these men DESPITE their pick-up lines. If it’s just a testimonial like “I never approached women before,… Read more »
I would also like to see a scientific study of women who slept with guys who used PUA techniques to find out what motivated their decisions, if they enjoyed the experience, felt like they’d been played or regretted it later. There is virtually nothing in PUA literature that I’ve read discussing what the “targets” actually think about what’s going on. PUA literature treats women as robots who respond to stimuli. Do X and she’ll do Y, if she says A then you say B etc. The discussion of “female psychology” in PUA literature emphasizes evolutionary psychology explanations and leaves no… Read more »
There has not been a controlled study, as far as I know. There is much anecdotal evidence however.
And, yes, confidence is part of it; that’s old news in PUA circles. Yet, saying you need confidence and leaving it at that is not enough. There is much more that goes on in the mating dance.
I urge this publication too withdraw its published praise for gender bigot Amanda Marcotte as a mark of respect for the family of Reginald Daye, who was recently murdered by Crystal Mangum.
“”Let women come to you… what great advice. Should I also not work and sit around waiting for stacks of money to fall from the sky into my lap? If women are approaching you, chances are good that you are A) wealthy B) extremely good looking C) Famous or D) any combination of A, B, and C.”” Dave. If you’re referring to me, I was not wealthy, nor extremely good-looking, famous, or any combination. I was taller than average and reasonably fit–played smashmouth sports and was in judo and martial arts as a hobby. Other than that, the average college… Read more »
Being tall makes a pretty big difference…
a much needed addition to the conversation about being a good man when it comes to sex and relationships, how to pick up a woman from a woman’s perspective. dah…
Tom
Wouldn’t it be interesting if you got someone that teaches game to do an article about game instead of just getting women that don’t really understand game to give their opinions?
Seems game is being misrepresented here, I know a guy has already suggested that but I felt you might be more receptive if it was put to you by a feminist woman, due to your obvious biases and chivalrous nature.
If you people thought that, Tom, you wouldn’t have this parade of straight women posting the articles. What could they know about picking women up?
“What disturbs me about the PUA “movement” is the idea that there is a whole group of men out there dedicated to using women” Yea, it’s called “sexual liberation” women’s hook up culture is what spawned the PUA and hook up culture. Get used to it. Women are more so sex objects rather than prospects for a date in the mind of many. Personally, I abstain from sex with the Western woman all together. Her vagina is more toxic than tobacco. http://articles.nydailynews.com/2011-02-22/entertainment/28639602_1_oral-cancer-hpv-vaccines-cervical-cancer Tuesday, February 22, 2011 Oral sex could be hazardous to your health. So say researchers who note that… Read more »
I cannot help but wonder why it is that you don’t have the ladies flock to you…
“I mean, no one wants to wake up in the morning and think, “Hmm, I just let a guy use me for sex. Nice.”
Then comes the “rape” charge : )
Why is it wrong for a woman to be leery of “casual fun sex” with some random dude? Casual sex has a lot of downsides for women. (1) risk of unwanted pregnancy, (2) risk of STD’s, (3) risk of getting into a dangerous situation with a guy who turns out to be a psycho, (4) risk of being labeled a cheap slut, (5) risk of destroying any possibility of a relationship with the guy if he’s someone you really like (because once a guy has put you in the cheap slut category you will never get out of it), and… Read more »
41%? Really? That’s very specific. Do you have a cite for that? And yes, casual sex has downsides for men, but for whatever reason, men as a rule seem less concerned about it than women as a rule. For example, men SHOULD be as concerned as women are about the risk of unwanted pregnancy, but in my experience, a lot of men consider it to be the woman’s problem and don’t even bother asking what birth control method she’s using (if any). Condoms have a relatively high failure rate. What you are saying is that there are reasons to avoid… Read more »
And yes, casual sex has downsides for men, but for whatever reason, men as a rule seem less concerned about it than women as a rule.
Because we’re socialized not to care but when we do our concern is taken in the worst faith either by having our manhood challenged or being treated like we are trying to control women.
That is You who are not messed up by others telling you what to feel or think. Many weaker women do file “date rape charges that are false. Morning after remorse is ok men get that too but that is not excuse for not admitting that it does occur. Numbers 4 through 6 Are quire real. Here is a place men can take a better tack by bashing “slut shaming” and vigorously defending a woman’s right to sexual expression. Women too have to fight the others who indulge in slut shaming. Really would not the world be a better place… Read more »
“(This becomes necessary, for example, if your partner is drunk.)”
No women are absolved from all liability for their decisions when drunk. Women like to call this “rape”
Interesting to see that you are advocating responsibility for women but the fact is that by law women are children.
While I do appreciate that Rachel has at least attempted to provide some helpful alternatives to the typical PUA methods but she has failed miserably. She has no idea how difficult it is for guys on the lower end of the looks/money/social scale to meet women (even women on their equivalent “level”). I’m 100% sure that the guys Rachel did hook up back in her “$13 martini days”, didn’t look like me. The super hot guys have their choice. The Average Joe’s are left in the dark. While the average girls can still go out the bar and find someone… Read more »
Let women come to you… what great advice. Should I also not work and sit around waiting for stacks of money to fall from the sky into my lap?
If women are approaching you, chances are good that you are A) wealthy B) extremely good looking C) Famous or D) any combination of A, B, and C.