Tor Constantino shares how parenting lessons are everywhere—especially between the training wheels.
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My wife and I share child-rearing responsibilities for our three kids fairly equally. One of the coolest things I get to do is teaching them how to ride bikes.
Two of the three can ride, and I’m anxious to get our three-year old on a two-wheel training bike this summer.
Looking forward to the day we can all tool down a bicycle trail together as a family has me looking backward a bit at what I learned from my kiddos while training them toward our collective pedaling pursuits.
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Holding On and Letting Go
This is a tricky—yet necessary—lesson for parents to learn. Running behind my kids while gripping firmly to the back of their bike seat while they furiously pedal must be comical to watch.
After just a few minutes the sweat is usually pouring off as I’m puffing profusely.
Even though it’s my grip and momentum that are usually the only thing keeping my child and their bike upright—it must look like I’m being dragged along against my will. We’ll both try to go as long as we can at this grueling pace, which is about 10-15 minutes before I need a break.
But within that window, there are always a few brief moments when I can feel my child actually balancing, pedaling, and steering independently of me.
That’s when I have to let go, but I keep running with my ever-ready hand to clamp onto the seat if needed.
That sensation of holding on and letting go is truly a metaphor of the entire parental journey.
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Momentum is Magic
Bicycling requires a lot from kids. They have to steer, balance, and pedal all at the same time—all are equally important. But when the trail has a slight decline, and they don’t have to focus on pedaling, their momentum provides magical success.
Their downhill speed seems to supernaturally align their steering and balance.
My kids experienced brief success merely as a result of their forward momentum.
The magical power of momentum was a powerful lesson for me as a parent, because there are many times as a parent where it’s just easier to stop trying to be a better parent, to stop moving forward.
Every time my kids saddle up for a bike ride, I’m instantly reminded that we all need to keep moving forward as a family—both literally and figuratively.
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Gravity Happens
Bicycling is great fun—that is until gravity happens and it always will happen. It’s safe to say that every person who has every learned to ride a bicycle has fallen off a bike at sometime in their life.
That applies to me and my kids as well.
But even though “gravity happens” and my kids fell off their bikes—they were always willing to get back up and try again.
I would encourage them, praise their effort, and remind them of the success they had before they tipped over.
They always tried again.
Recently over dinner, I shared with my family a difficult failure I had on a work-related project—and my middle child was quick to remind me that I had get back up and try again.
The rest of the clan chimed in their words of encouragement, piled on their praise for my efforts, and reminded me of my successes prior to stumbling on this particular project.
Needless to say I was humbled to have to follow my own advice uttered from their lips—but it helped and I did try again on the project, achieving the desired result.
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All of this is to say that I’m learning as I’m teaching my kids, and I’m learning that that’s a pretty cool thing about parenting.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
Tor, this post is terrific. Its half parenting advice and half poetry!
That means a lot coming from you – thanks!