A year later, we’re still crying.
A year ago, Tom Matlack reflected on his recent crying drought and asked a few men about the last time they’d cried. The responses—or even the fact that people responded at all—were a revelation; men cry, maybe more often than people think, and others wished they could cry.
To follow up, we reached out to a group of men—some contributors, some not—with the same question: when was the last time you cried?
I cried on the plane at the end of Adjustment Bureau!
I was a senior engineer with Intel Corporation. My job was to travel the world with Chairman Andy Grove, doing technical demonstrations on stage at events, and I was incredibly nervous about speaking on stage. I took a comedy class to get over the fear, and the comedy kind of took off.
I perform all over the States as well as in many foreign countries. My life is like that of George Clooney in Up in the Air, just without the sex.
—Dan Nainan, comedian
At the birth of my last daughter. Well, I cried for all three of them, but that was the last time. Or even just watching them sometimes as they experience something new—see that’s not really a cry, that’s more of a shedding of a tear.
—Jason Sehorn, former NFL defensive back
Whenever I hear of someone who has taken their life, which is all too often, I well up as tears overcome me. Having lived through and survived the horrific experience of my brother’s suicide, I am awakened to the purpose in my life. I am paying it forward by illustrating the pain with which the surviving family members are imbued so perhaps it will draw someone back from that edge of desperation.
—Carl David, author of Bader Field; How My Family Survived Suicide
In 2010 I didn’t qualify for the Indianapolis 500. Only 33 drivers qualify for the race and while I was in the race, I had to go back out on the racetrack at the last minute on Bump Day to try and better my time and didn’t improve it. I was left out of the field … with a sport that is SO driven by corporate sponsorships and with competing in the Indy 500 being my dream, missing it was devastating. I cried.
—Jay Howard, 2011 Indy 500 driver
I cried twice during a recent 60 Minutes episode. The first was about homeless children. It was rough watching an 11-year-old girl try to make sense of her dire circumstances, living with her family in a small motel room. In that same episode, I welled up during a piece about Wynton Marsalis and his recent trip to Cuba with his big band. He was playing alongside local artist and students at a Cuban music school. Seeing the way they responded to him, and the joy he brought through music, brought a very different type of tear to my eye.
—David Klow, family psychotherapist
I have no idea. Maybe when I retired or something.
—Keyshawn Johnson, former NFL wide receiver
The last time I cried was 14 years ago in Bridgeport (CT) Superior Court. We were about to lose our Westport house in foreclosure and the sheriff would arrive for eviction. I cried. The judge gave me 6 more months, in spite of the bank’s objection. That gave us time to pack up and put everything in storage.
—Alan Abel, author of eight published books , including the best-seller Don’t Get Mad…Get Even and How To Thrive On Rejection.
The last time I watched Across The Universe. There’s a scene set during the race riots where a young boy caught in the crossfire sings Lennon’s “Let It Be.” I’m not an emotional/sensitive guy by any means, but seeing something like that—even in fictionalized form—was just moving. Luckily, my girlfriend didn’t catch my tears.
—Ian Sandusky, martial arts program director, MMA conditioning coach
I cried last week.
—Dorsey Levens, former NFL running back
Last week, I was upset with my 7-year-old son. I was providing him with a life lesson on how to appreciate what he has, not what he doesn’t, being and speaking positive, to consider others feelings and not only his and the importance of family. One of the lessons I spoke about concerning family was, if dad needs a dollar, how he should without hesitation say dad, whatever you need, it’s yours. About two minutes later my wife and I heard a loud, continuous, crashing and thunderous sound emanating from my son’s room. When we got to my son’s room, we found him trembling and crying hysterically. My son has these shelves with toys, coin banks and stuff on them for display. I started shouting, “Son are you alright, are you hurt.” I hugged him and repeated, “It’s ok, you’re all right.” The room seemed like a tornado hit it.
After things settled down and we began the process of assessing the damage, I sat my son down and asked him what happened. I told him that the only thing that’s important was that he was ok. Whatever was broken could be replaced, but he could never be replaced. Again I asked him what happened. My son used a turtle step-up to help him reach his Buddha-bank. I asked him why, and he replied, “I wanted to give you a dollar”.
—Michael Coritsidis, father/career coach
The last time I cried was last month while watching my daughter walk across the stage to collect her high school diploma.
—John Hawkins, website developer
I cry all the time. I’m a sensitive guy. Guys who don’t cry are not real men. We all have feelings. It’s good to cry sometimes. I think it is.
—Michael Ray Richardson, former NBA point guard
March 23 for ten minutes. My book Caged: Memoirs of a Cage-Fighting Poet was officially listed for pre-order on Barnes & Noble and Amazon. A lifetime of grappling with then accepting how my past shaped me as a man—and the years at coffee shops it took to write about it—was nearly a tangible thing with the potential to help those beyond myself. The book never went to press and I’m seeking another publisher, but for ten minutes I bawled a good bawl I’ll never forget.
—Cameron Conaway, sponsored martial artist/Shakespeare instructor
—Ted Cox, writer
As pitiful as it sounds, the last time I cried was about two weeks ago while watching a video tribute to a guy who got drafted to the NBA after 4 years of college basketball. His story is that of a young man who had little hope of playing professional basketball until he had a break-out season his senior year. It was a story of hard work and dedication and unexpected opportunity.
—Roger L Durham, sales manager for an energy management firm
Friday. I found out my friend’s 5-year-old daughter is losing her battle with cancer. The thought of losing a child is so overwhelming and awful it reduced me to tears.
—Aaron Gouveia, content editor
The last time I cried was when I wrote something about my stepdaughter for TLC, which means that it was either really moving, or I’m a total puss.
—John Cave Osbourne, freelance writer
A little bit, at the birth of my daughter.
—Matthew Salesses, fiction editor
—Photo Anders Ljungberg/Flickr