Penis Ennui

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About Jed Diamond Ph.D

Jed Diamond, Ph.D., is the Founder and Director of the MenAlive, a health program that helps men live long and well. Though focused on men’s health, MenAlive is also for women who care about the health of the men in their lives. Jed is the author of 11 books including his latest: Stress Relief for Men: How to Use the Revolutionary Tools of Energy Healing to Live Well. Since its inception in 1992, Jed has been on the Board of Advisors of the Men’s Health Network. He is also a member of the International Society for the Study of the Aging Male and serves as a member of the International Scientific Board of the World Congress on Gender and Men’s Health. His homepage is


  1. You forgot “milking the snake.” It has a manly man ring to it because anyone who takes on the title of Herpetologist must be a brave soul. It’s my favorite and much more positive than bashing, bleeding, bopping, burping, choking, cranking, cuffing, fisting, flogging, jerking, pounding, spanking, whipping or yanking.

    To be honest, I’ve never used any of those garrulous phrases, even in the locker room…but, that’s just me. And, I might add, except for a girl that I knew in college who referred to her vagina as Suzie (only she and god knew why) and comedians, I’ve never heard any woman I’ve been with call out the name she gave her genitals in the heat of the moment. As a matter of fact, I don’t remember talking about pet names for genitals aside from the immature discussions about what Suzie likes and I’ve never named mine.

    I am a man and, therefore, I have a penis. I also have a heart, lungs, brain and stomach among other organs that sustain my life and well-being. I don’t really feel the need to name them. As long as they function properly, all is well and I celebrate the continued functioning of my body every time I wake up and curse the pre-dawn hour.

  2. Steven Marr says:

    I don’t think that full frontal images of men should be considered pornographic. This brands men. As if the penis is literally a “smoking gun.” An image of a whole man should be considered natural and welcome rather than one of clandestine power. Masculine sexual power should be brought into the light rather than cast in the darkened shadows.

  3. Good point Steve. Seeing men in all our beauty and accepting ourselves just the way we are is part of our healing journey. We may not use any of those terms of derision in referring to our penises, but we treat ourselves poorly in many ways. I think we all have a ways to go before we consistently see our beauty and value as good men, in all our many aspects.

  4. Delightful essay, Jed. Ah, the eternal questions that may never be answered, but are always good to ask. I’m sure the joking is everyone’s way of dealing with “that thing” that is in part responsible for all you’ve outlined here. However, the penis is never boring, or full of “ennui” as the title suggests. So, is the headline suggesting “enough already?” I think it’s worthy that you keep the dialogue going.

  5. Embracing the Elephant Tusk
    Caressing the Love Cannon
    Fondling the Flagpole

  6. for those who eschew brevity: Turning on the Faucet to Just the Right Temperature.

    (also: “Cock Tales” is brilliant)

  7. It’s not just men and it’s not just your penis, as a society we need a much healthier approach to the human body. In my estimation there is no such things as a “mind body connection” because separation is an illusion. Body shame is a huge 3rd Century hangover. You are 100% right that if we can have a positive association with our own bodies we can have positive relationships with our sig other or the planet.

    Word to the wise, for a man to be a great lover he can do better focusing his energy on his heart than on his penis. Quid pro quo you got yours now I get mine is not love making. That’s a business transaction. Think give and receive, not give and take. Love to see this discussion taking place. Fantastic that we are exploring these themes.

  8. Henry Vandenburgh says:

    Fantastic essay, Jed!!

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