(Hat tip to Sociological Images.)
Below the cut, we have a fascinating video in which a man becomes both the “before” and the “after” body for a weight-loss, muscle-gain ad– within only a few hours. To get the after body, he lifts weights (to make his muscles more prominent), tans, sprays his body with PAM, takes the picture with good lighting, and flexes– not to mention using a little Photoshop. To get the before body, he relaxes on the couch for a few hours, consumes high-fat high-salt food and diet soda so he bloats, takes the picture with bad lighting, and pushes out his stomach.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M957dACQyfU]
Beyond the fascination of the transformations a body can go through in less than one day, why is this video relevant? As we talk about ad nauseam, women tend to have a Beauty Myth (“you can never be beautiful enough”) and men a Success Myth (“you can never be successful enough”). However, something I find fascinating is the way that both myths tend to bleed over into the “wrong” genders, often in particularly gendered ways. Women often face pressure to be Supermoms, with a successful corporate job, two well-adjusted intelligent children, a happy husband, and a clean house– and look good the whole time. And men are starting to experience a similar unrealistic beauty ideal, although with (as of yet) much less strength than the female ideal.
I think it’s because corporations, having already gotten rich off women feeling like shit about their bodies, have decided to explore the untapped gold mines of men feeling like shit about their bodies.
But, seriously, let’s nip the male beauty myth in the bud. Photos lie. Just as the skinny model with the C cup breasts is the beneficiary of genetics, plastic surgery, and unhealthy diet and exercise regimens, the zero-body-fat model with bulging triceps is the beneficary of genetics, steroids, and unhealthy diet and exercise regimens. While the male model may seem to be “healthy,” what’s really healthy is a well-balanced diet and sensible exercise plan– whether it leaves you with belly fat or six-pack abs. (Not to mention that people should feel no duty to be healthy if, in fact, doughnuts and bad TV are what will make them happier– but that’s a different point.)
It is even more ridiculous to feel like you have to live up to a beauty ideal that even the models don’t. Without clever tricks of photography and a little Photoshop, the man in the video looks like a normal, if very athletic, man; with them, he looks ready for the cover of Maxim. And, hell, I’ve met female models. You’d be surprised how ordinary they look without makeup and good lighting and Photoshop. There is no sense in feeling bad about how you look because you don’t look like an ideal no one does.
I have a before body. So do you, and so does the man in the video, and Hugh Jackman, and everyone else you’ve ever met. People with before bodies climb mountains, fall in love, save lives, raise pretty awesome children, create art, play sports, and generally live happy, meaningful lives. I am proud of my before body, and you should be too.
Oh my God, I lovvvvez this blog! I’ll visit back to respond to this post.
The question was about feminists holding their right to preference sacred. I examplified.
Please take up your obvious beef with Amanda Marcotte at HER blog. No one wants to listen to it here, and the comment guidelines clearly state that crap from other blogs is not up for derail.
@M Dubz
I have read Manboobz, I have read it a lot. Yes, he takes up some examples. But still not close to Amanda Marcotte getting away scott free for passing judgement about men in shorts and sandals.
@ Dr Anonymous: Go to http://www.manboobz.com. Search the archives. You will find examples of what you are looking for, in abundance.
@L “Dr. Anonymous: I didn’t give you examples because I’ve got waaay better things to do with my time than spend 3 hours combing the NSWATM archives and thousands of comments over the past ??? months in order to prove a point that I really shouldn’t have to to a single stranger on the internet. It’s not like I have some sort of study I could point you to either anyways. C’mon. So like Kaija said, all we’ve got to work with right now is anecdote, and when it come right down to it, that doesn’t really hold water ever.… Read more »
@Mae West Fan: It’s both. It’s “This is what’s probably wrong with you/lacking in your life. All you need to fix it is to use our product, and keep buying it forever. If those things aren’t lacking/problematic for you, then you should buy our product to make sure that it’s never lacking because this is what could happen should you do otherwise.”
Marketing is all about manufacturing a need, even if that means destroying people’s self esteem.
“I don’t know if companies are just exploiting people ‘feeling shit’ about themselves. I think the market for fashion, cosmetics, ‘male grooming’ is partly to do with encouraging people to feel good about themselves! yes with the help of products but still it is often aimed at the positive not always the negative.” Well yeah, they tell you that you’re shit first, then they claim their product is the positive solution to that problem. So their product in itself is not negative, it’s just the societal attitude towards not having it. Like say, going make-up less all the time and… Read more »
I don’t know if companies are just exploiting people ‘feeling shit’ about themselves. I think the market for fashion, cosmetics, ‘male grooming’ is partly to do with encouraging people to feel good about themselves! yes with the help of products but still it is often aimed at the positive not always the negative.
“I’m wary of domineering women who are out head-hunting for a wage-slave husband just as much as the alpha male head-of-household type who wants his steak and blowjob 5 minutes after stepping in the door every evening.” Sure, both are equally bad – but there seems to be an easier jump to a man preference meaning he’s the sexist “alpha” you describe than a jump to a womans preference of being a houswife meaning she’s a lazy gold digging bitch. I see what you’re saying, though, about the power differential. I just don’t think its fair to so quickly make… Read more »
@Suturexself: A lot of that debate goes on in the BDSM world. You know what you tend to find? WAY more of a developed support network for subs and submissive-types than for the doms and d-types. Because basically what the situation is is “I want someone to control” vs “I want someone to control me”. Who, intrinsically, has more power and leverage in those situations? The person doing the controlling, obviously. So yeah, it’s a shitty knee-jerk, but people not in positions of power don’t tend to abuse that… non-power as much. And this is gender-neutral. I’m wary of domineering… Read more »
“I’ve noticed a tendency to treat any description of a male’s preferences by a male as some kind of claim of universal truth (rather than one of personal preference) unless care is taken to disclaim it (and even then, that preference might be evil and misogynistic), while not holding a description of a female’s preferences by a female (which are always automatically OK) to the same standard.” I did notice a recent post (I’ve generally stopped going to Feministe, not at all worth the stress) where a man says he wants a woman who wants to stay home and raise… Read more »
@Dr. A: My experience is that it is female feminists who seem to have a troubled relationship with male preference. I’ve noticed a tendency to treat any description of a male’s preferences by a male as some kind of claim of universal truth (rather than one of personal preference) unless care is taken to disclaim it (and even then, that preference might be evil and misogynistic), while not holding a description of a female’s preferences by a female (which are always automatically OK) to the same standard. I suspect it’s a variety of confirmation bias. I also think the tendency… Read more »
@kaija24 What L said “Not wanting to consider someone dating material, or even like them for that matter, is a right we all have that doesn’t get acknowledged much when talking about tolerance and acceptance and all that.” The claim was that MRAs get all in a fit when a woman’s right to do so is discussed. I asked for examples of such. I have no doubt such things exist, but I ask for examples. My experience is that it is female feminists who seem to have a troubled relationship with male preference. See Jill’s recent article on period sex… Read more »
I believe that what L is saying is that if you look around you, in your own life, in your own lived experience for these examples you will find them (and a wide range of other behaviours). If you have a rigid idea of “this is how things are/this is the way these people act”, then that is mainly what will catch your attention via confirmation bias. But change your environment, look for other behaviours, surf some other sites on the internet and you’ll find a lot of other evidence. Wild stuff, this variable human behaviour in a diverse society…I… Read more »
@L
So what you are saying is that there are easily found examples, somehow you know this. But you can’t point to some of them?
@Startledoctopus: It sounds like you’re rightfully bothered by the snake oil industry that pretends to be the “weight loss” industry.
I agree very much that focus should be on healthy behaviors over losing fat – however, having been overweight and knowing the social effects of it, I support someone trying to lose weight, provided they’re going about it with a good mentality and by way of healthy behaviors.
@Suturexself: well, I guess my issue with the “there is a healthy way to lose weight!” thing is that all of the issues you mention STILL EXIST, and everyone wants to claim that their new gimmick is the “healthy, safe, effective” way – so unless you become an expert yourself, you’re relying on the expertise of people who may not know their shit, or may be out to just make a buck. So with “lose weight” as an unreliable goal (since you need to be superlatively savvy to sort through the industry), why focus on that, instead of healthy behaviors?… Read more »
@ L Does anyone in the MRA/PUA circles actually call themselves an alpha? Because I think the “alpha male” should be added to the list of famous cryptids out there if not. On the subject of body imagery – I’d like to personally thank you for the mental image of a grainy 8mm sasquatch with a lot of goldchains, an oversized novelty hat, and way too much hairgel glancing furtively over his shoulder while he vanishes into the woods. Oh, and the PUA Loch Ness Monster, “Neggie.” (“Wow. A kilt. Only someone as hot as you could pull off that… Read more »
Then again, this is no advice column.
Not really, but it’s not hard to find. Those kinds of conversations sometimes happen here, even. Mostly it’s just people complaining that women are too picky, and not giving Guys Like Them a chance; they just want the bad boys, the lookers, the alphas, etc. etc. In the greater expanses of the internet, you generally hear this stuff from self-identifying “beta males”. (Does anyone in the MRA/PUA circles actually call themselves an alpha? Because I think the “alpha male” should be added to the list of famous cryptids out there if not.) The thing that isn’t often addressed (I think… Read more »
@L
Can you show such a thing?
The most I have seen is young feminists being very occupied with their right to preference. And then older feminists being upset that men prefer younger women, or asian women or want virgins and so on.
@Gaius: I think it’s a discussion that needs to be had eventually, really. I mean, look how heated things get with the MRAs when someone tries to assert that women have the right to date and find attractive anyone they want, and that it’s perfectly fair for them to do so.
Not wanting to consider someone dating material, or even like them for that matter, is a right we all have that doesn’t get acknowledged much when talking about tolerance and acceptance and all that.
@L:
You’re right, that was foolish of me. You’re obviously allowed to like and dislike whomever and whatever you choose.
To be honest, I think I felt like I was being clubbed by your “personal biases and standards.” And that’s my problem, not yours. Sorry.
I dislike exercise that doesn’t serve some purpose beyond the exercise itself. I enjoy biking and walking because they a) get me somewhere and b) let me look at pretty things along the way (provided I’m on a trail and not on the streets of the concrete jungle in which I live). I don’t enjoy weight lifting, even though I’d like to do it, because it seems so pointless, just lifting objects up and down. I think I might be able to get into weight lifting if I had a partner to do it with, but that’s not currently an… Read more »