Mental Toughness Has Nothing to Do with Being a Hardass

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About Wendy Lynne

Wendy Lynne is the Director of Mental Toughness Academy.  The Academy’s online Mental Toughness Training for Youth Athletes helps kids build confidence, focus, determination and the ability to bounce back from adversity---what we call Mental Toughness.
Her passion is helping kids, their parents and coaches transform their thinking so they lead happier, healthier and more successful lives.


  1. Keith Roper says:

    Good article, but is the topic of masturbation still taboo? I recall Joycelyn Elders getting fired by Clinton from her Secy. of Health position over her remarks that masturbation should be included in educating our youth. Teens definitely would like to masturbate when there’s no partner available, relieving frustration, anxiety, stress, other emotional ailments. There was a rape in my neighborhood the other day and might it have been prevented had masturbation been taught as being OK and normal? I would rather have a porn addict as a neighbor than a rapist.; the same goes for a potential unwanted pregnancy. Sometimes mental toughness means making the tough decisions in the gray, murky areas of morality.

  2. Emotions always come out, and often at the worst time. We need to learn to work with them, not tamp them down harder.

    A lot of men need to learn, too, that anger is often just a cover of some other emotion, since they’ve learned that anger can be OK, but fear, sadness, and shame are not.

    • Could not agree more David! Emotions always eventually come out. If they are not expressed they get expressed through disease, depression or a heaviness that will not lift. It is OK to express not only anger, but fear, sadness and shame. That is where real bravery comes in and releases the pent up emotion.

  3. Great article. Thank you. For adult men – often the practice of learning to take responsibility for emotional states (or even understanding them) can take an extraordinary experience. I’ve been a part of an organization for almost 10 years that creates a crucible for men to get in touch with authentic toughness and get skills for ‘being with’ emotions that men may have been pushing down for years. Check it out: ManKind Project.

  4. Boysen the ManKind project looks amazing and good for you seeking out like minded men who are role models and leaders for other men and boys! I would love to get in touch with one of the leaders of the group – any suggestions?

  5. Yes, it’s very true that we should differentiate being mentally tough with being a hard ass. These are two very different things.

    Love how this explains how to master your emotions as well.


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