Clarisse Thorn makes a good point, as she is prone to doing.
Don’t have a huge amount to add here; she makes a compelling argument and backs it up with good links. Short version: the perception that “women are all naturally submissive” is a wrong one, and is intrinsically connected to a lot of very dubious ideas. This dirty old man says it’s worth a read.
I think the other half of Clarisse’s argument was equally important: the “so what?”
So what if all women–or one particular woman, or man, or men–are sexually submissive? It wouldn’t say anything about the world more generally. Just because someone likes taking orders in bed doesn’t mean they can’t take charge in the workplace. Even if it WERE the case (and it isn’t) that all women are sexually masochistic, violence against them wouldn’t be any more justified.
My going theory is just, “Sex is weird. Don’t try to understand it.”
This whole post surprises me. “This just in, not all ends of bottles have caps.” Someone has to be told this?
I wish I could remember where I found a great study about rape fantasies. The results were that it’s mixed in both rapist and rapee for both men and women, and assuming that men are dominant and women are subby is just bullshit gender roles. (Only more professional sounding than that of course.)
Holy… you ever trip over your own assumptions in a really embarrassing way? For years I’ve been quoting, as an example of how Cosmopolitan sucks ass, a poll they ran of their own readers that established deeply kinky desires among Cosmo readers, which they never followed up on, continuing to publish actively terrible vanilla sex advice and slut-shame anyone slightly kinky. One of the questions was “do you ever have fantasies involving rape or nonconsensual sex” or something to that effect, and of course more than fifty percent of respondents said yes, because it’s a very common fantasy. It didn’t… Read more »
I have nonconsent-related sex fantasies as the perpetrator, and I’m pretty clearly a chick…
Me too. There is a deliciously pretty, masochistic character in an internet show that I love. Imagining bending him over and pulling his tie until it chokes him is wonderful.
I do have to admit that as a guy I do fantasize about being a rapee. (Mind you the obvious difference between these fantasies and rape is consent. In these fantasies of mine its all consensual all around.) I think sometimes it comes down to wanting the opposite of what you’re expected to do when it comes to sex (not necessarily what you actually do, I fantasize about being a the rapee at the mercy of a woman yet the only sexual experience I’ve ever had is going down on a woman one night several months ago). As a guy… Read more »
Well, I highly doubt that any sex fantasy comes down to one thing for everyone, but the violation of expected gender norms is probably part of what’s attractive for many fdoms and msubs. (Forced feminization/crossdressing would provide evidence for this theory.)
Yeah, generalizations are ALWAYS wrong….hehe
Interesting to note that women are more likely to be submissive and men are more likely to be both submissive and dominant.
You know, it’s been my unscientific observation (which has nonetheless proven to have some predictive value) that people tend to get switchier as they get older. Not everyone and not all the time, but there’s a tendency there.
Interesting to note that, in fact, that’s really untrue, as Clarissa notes over in her blog.
Really?
Cited from the data link CT gave: