Tasher meditates on healing following divorce, and the big picture of life.
Forrest Gump said “Life is like a box of chocolates.” I prefer Squire Rushnell’s idea that life is like a big jigsaw puzzle. All the pieces have their place, and every single one is important in our life for some reason. I am one piece in the puzzle; there are pieces that connect to mine, one of which is a soul mate. As with any puzzle, when you have the correct piece they fall in place very quickly, and there is no need to try to make them fit.
The puzzle is a blueprint for our lives. I do not believe people come into our lives by coincidence. Every one of them has a purpose, some large and others small. People who spend a short time in our lives often have a profound effect.
I lived in the Philippines only a few years, but many of the things I learned there influenced the rest of my life.
The Filipinos believe God chooses our parents, siblings, and children. When a Filipino is speaking of an older sister, they do not just refer to her name. The Tagalog word “Ate” prefaces the name. This is because Filipinos believe God also chose the order in which you were born. Respect for God’s grand design extends to the friends of their parents. An adult male friend of your parents has the Tagalog word “Tito” before the name. Ask any Filipino if it’s by coincidence these people are in their lives and they will look at you like you’ve lost your mind.
I happen to agree with them.
Squire Rusnell writes in his book “When God Winks on Love”:
Like a jigsaw puzzle in which you know that all the pieces will fit precisely together, the blueprint for your life was written with an exact-fitting piece just for you and your soul mate. Yes, within that jigsaw puzzle called “Your Life,” there is a perfect love.
We are one piece in our life puzzle, and each person is another piece. We’ve been assigned the task of putting our life puzzle together. We cannot forget about our free will. We can place the people pieces where we want them. Of course, we are human and sometimes will make the wrong choices.
During the healing time following my divorce, I thought about this over and over. I realized my ex was not my soul mate. So many times during the marriage I was pushing the pieces down trying to make them fit. A piece would fit for a while, but then some corner or curve always popped up. I kept trying to make the wrong piece go in the wrong spot. When I realized this and accepted it, I felt a big weight lift off my shoulders, and I was okay with the divorce. My ex is an important piece in my puzzle called life; he is just not my soul mate, and I am not his.
There will be puzzle pieces that you do not like, but they are there for a reason. Your life puzzle would not be complete without them. The first ones that come to mind are the ones your ex picks to bring into your children’s lives. We’re not required to do anything but understand that everything will make sense to us one day.
While putting your life puzzle together, have confidence in the big picture. Keep your eyes, ears, and heart open.
Photo by craftist collective.
This article originally appeared, in slightly different form, at Divorced and Scared No More.