The Let’s Dad! Great Gift Guide #1

September is the most common birth month. Count back nine months and it’s Christmas. In the giving spirit, here are some gift ideas for newborns.

This was previously published on Let’s Dad!

 The Let’s Dad! Great Gift Guide #1: Newborns

Friends just given birth? No hand-me-downs you can pass off as new? Can’t bear a trip to Tat ‘R’ Us? Fret no more: here are five winning gifts. (And a few websites to browse if they’re not quite what you’re after.)

The Gift of Life—not available on the High Street.

Flensted Mobiles

If you want a mobile that glows fluorescent, chimes Boyzone’s Greatest Hits and has the cast of In The Night Garden dangling from its limbs, then f*ck off to Argos.  If you want a mobile that’s simple, elegant and propelled by the breath of a dozing newborn, go with a Flensted.

Limbo Mini-Mobile

It’s colourful, unpredictable and helps develop motor-skills. Much like a night in a ball-pool with a hermaphrodite. The latter would be an expensive and inappropriate gift for a newborn, so go for this mini-mobile instead.

Rockabye Baby Lullabies

Peace and quiet can come at a price. Fortunately, that price is around £12.99. These lullaby renditions of rock classics are essential during bedtime and long car journeys. If it fails to work, and their little poppet is still howling like a banshee, at least your friends will be tapping their toes to Bob Marley (or slitting their wrists to Radiohead.) Full review here…

Personalised Clothing

Find a website (there are many), pick the garment, size and colour…and then simply insert the witty catchphrase from the canoeing holiday that ended up like Deliverance. Or just buy some iron-on inkjet paper and transfer a photo or two from that same trip onto an M&S babygrow. At least two people will find it funny.

Jelly Cat Toys

According to Richmond-upon-Thames Social Services Department, a child ‘cannot officially be categorized as middle-class unless they own at least three Jelly Cat toys’. There you have it. You don’t want your friends’ little darling to be a chav do you?! DO YOU!?

Not convinced? Try these sites for all manner of child-friendly delights:

Selecta Toys
Handcrafted wooden toys from our German brothers. Qualität!

BebeModa
All sorts of lovely books, toys, furniture etc.

Lamaze
Jelly Cat on acid … and the kids f*cking love it!

Little Baby Company
You get the idea now…

 

Read more Men Are Funny.

Images courtesy of the author

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