How to Pretend You’re from Cleveland

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About Bridget Callahan

Bridget Callahan wants to meet this generation's Hemingway, and have him cheat on her profusely. She writes one of those blog things at and currently attends UNCW.


  1. You should also add that to be a Clevelander, you need to have a Eurocentric, patriarchal and heteronormative view of the world (as you demonstrated in your article)–”Clevelanders are cool with gay people, black people”…etc. What you’re saying is, “if you are a European heterosexual male, you are a ‘true’ Clevelander; the rest are just decorative elements.”

    • Well that is sorta the joke Aaron, sorry if that was too subtle. How’s this: Clevelanders are prejudiced enough to still think in dismissive generalized categories of anyone different from them, but are just as apt to ignore those prejudices in defense of their fellow Clevelanders. Kinda like a grandma who’s had too much to drink at Christmas but despite what she says about “those gays” really loves your queer sister.

  2. What was that, Aaron? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of you taking yourself seriously.

  3. You broke the cardinal rule with your title. Cleveland is far from a mistake. As a native Clevelander who lives in Minneapolis, I can tell you that the winters there are not that harsh and it’s no excuse to not stay fit. Might the fatness have something to do with all the meat Clevelanders consume? Forget swimming in it, Lake Erie water tastes great and isn’t annoyingly hard like ground water offered in so many other cities. As for tolerance, I think they generally are accepting of other people but as for the dating scene for a non-white young professional male, it was horrible there and much better where I live now.

    • Hahaha, I did NOT put “Mistake on the Lake” anywhere in the draft article I submitted, OLIVER (my editor). Because obviously, as a Clevelander, I believe that title belongs to Toledo.

  4. Your “no, but seriously” statement might steer people into believing this rant ; )
    I know you’re just joshing and know a lot of cool people here that don’t fit the described profiles.
    What is your take on the Tar Heels?

    • My favorite part about the moniker “tar heels” is that no one here that I’ve asked can tell me where that phrase comes from.

  5. Dude, rooting for the Steelers is NOT acceptable. Like, in any way! I thought you were going to say any team *but* the Steelers!

    • Every time I see the word Steelers, that Wiz Kalifa song pops into my head. I have no such song association with the Browns. Someone call the remains of Das Rascist.

  6. Hipsterer-and-Rust-Belter-than-thou. I’m from Buffalo. Cleveland at least gets SOME good press these days, but Buffalo? Never. We prefer it that way, though. Making sport of visitors to the Western New York area is a delightful pastime. They seem to expect that the area is constantly buried under thirty feet of snow … even in July … never mind that large bodies of water, you know … REGULATE temperatures.

    • Weirdly enough, I was JUST telling my friend how much I like Buffalo. Mostly cause of the huge grain silos with holes in their sides. But also cause of the crazy Skyway.

  7. There are a lot of women in Cleveland who are better looking than you, Bridget.

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