Just because it’s difficult to deal with issues of gender equality, writes Soraya Chemaly, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.
That’s the conclusion you have to come to after watching Miss Representation, a documentary about the debilitating influence of media on girls and society that aired recently on the OWN network.
If you are a mom or dad interested in changing culture so that it is more gender-balanced and equitable stop whining and just go home. It’s so much easier than thinking about the information synthesized and encapsulated by the movie.
We are so screwed. This too hard. It’s easier to ignore the problems of gender inequity, and it’s definitely more fun to. I mean, who wants all this striving for equality. Girls get it. They’re not stupid. That’s why they’re receding from public life. Boys get it, too, which is why we are having a “trouble with boys” debate. How many ways can we set our kids up either by undermining their confidence (girls?) or creating a false sense of entitlement and power (boys?)?
So what if girls “opt-out” of leadership roles and think public life is the exclusive arena of boys and men? It’s unpleasant out there in the big bad leadership world.
So what if boys learn to think of girls primarily as accessories that they acquire like so many shiny, molded cars? That’s why I had girls. Duh.
And if boys feel pressure to grow up and take care of women, like they’re children? That’s what they’re here for, right? I mean, what boy isn’t made to feel like he has to “be a man” and “provide” for dependents, “protect” them from amorphous “bad stuff.”
So what if the best thing my girls and yours think they can aspire to is the real life paper-doll cut-out of the object of a 15 year-old boys wet dream, which is, as the movie compellingly documents, the image of girls and women promulgated by our gaming, media, and entertainment industries? And, so what if the highest thing your son can aspire to is a hyper-masculinized athlete whose goal is to lay everything that moves in a skirt.
What if all that makes them happy? What is wrong with that?
And, really, if more than 50 percent of our population is effectively denied the ability to pursue public service, to the detriment of the greater good, by a system of informal, entertaining bias, it’s not like it’s a major problem for a democracy or anything.
I mean, why do girls need to understand the effects on their health, jobs … life, of having the bare minimum gender representation in Congress? What’s wrong with 17% anyway?
The last spark of a feminist in me this morning is compelled to point out that all of this not making any of us happy. Twice as many girls experience depression as boys, beginning in adolescence. And the entire nation is focused on bullying, but won’t talk openly about the fact that much of its root cause is misogyny. That’s just too much to wrap our tattooed-Barbie-and-cartoon-superhero-of-the-day benumbed brains around. Bullying is the norm in a culture that denigrates what is female. It is why, for example, boys in religious private schools say they experience bullying at a higher rate than boys in public or non-religious private schools? There are dots screaming and turning blue in the face to be connected.
I give up.
No, I don’t. The wealth disparity in our country is one of the largest in the industrialized world and continues to grow. The highest indicator of adolescent male violence and unwanted teen pregnancies is not the presence of guns or a lack of sex ed, its…the wealth gap. Look at which countries have the largest wealth gaps and compare that to a ranking of those with the least gender equity. No surprises there—the ones with the smallest gap happen to be the ones with the highest equity.
As the recent Wall Street Journal article about the gender gap clearly explains, this is a huge economic issue. We need to educate ourselves, and our children, about the importance of these issues as a society. Like THAT’s going to happen. OK. I give do up. Aren’t you glad?
Besides, it’s boring. How do I compare with my friends, really excellent moms and dads who aren’t thinking about equity as much and are cheerfully taking their girls and boys to the next showing of “Bad Teacher” and “Transformers 16.” These are the friends that I need most now, because misery loves company. They can be depressed with me.
There is no way to watch Miss Representation without feeling the enormity of the issue at hand. Our country is cobbled by a structural misogyny, embedded in our culture and economy, that permeates every dimension of life. Louder now, so the fear of a female planet people can hear: Men are not sitting around in man-caves, watching football games and plotting devious ways to undermine women’s equality, just like feminists are not trying to destroy boys’ ability to be boys and men. What we have instead is something much more insidious and difficult to deal with—a systemized, traditional, destructive and amorphous bias that polarizes masculinity and femininity in extremely harmful ways.
There is no way to think deeply about the information imparted in Miss Representation without realizing its vast implications. Changing the status quo means literally changing everything from the way toys are packaged to the structure of capitalism. I’m stating for the record that the last statement is not a joke, it’s not meant to be sarcastic or an exaggeration for effect. It’s so pervasive that even those of us who have been ardent lifelong feminists, who want to change the world and work hard to do it, struggle with where to start and how to continue. It’s exhausting.
So, just in case you are a man who doesn’t watch the OWN Network, which I’m figuring is pretty much most guys, find out where you can see Miss Representation at www.missprepresentation.org and take your teenagers, girls and boys, with you.
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photo: Oakley Originals / Flickr
“Mean girls Facebooking other girls is misogyny? Boys bullying boys is misogyny? This is the illogic of feminism.” Actually Eric…it can be at times. Misogyny doesn’t only happen male on female. Examples: When 13 year old Hope Witsell committed suicide because she was bullied after a girl spread pictures of her breasts around the school. When the girls who bullied her weren’t punished. When a mother beats her daughter after finding condoms or nude pictures of her. When a college girl laughs or does nothing in the presence of a sexual abuse survivor while the guys around her are telling… Read more »
With all due respect, what the %&#$@^! are you talking about? When a parent disciplines their daughter or son (for that matter) for bad behavior, it is just that, discipline to possibly save their life or, at least, save them from suffering unnecessary grief in life. Period. End of sentence. It is no misogyny or misandry. Maybe, just maybe, she doesn’t want her hurt, pregnant, suffering with an STD or some other frivolous reason. Meanness is usually just meanness, nothing to do with hating males or females. Otherwise, their hate would be unleashed on girls in general, not just a… Read more »
It’s misogyny because a lot of these examples are centered around slut-shaming, which mostly happens to women, and is meant to police female sexuality. If someone called the police on an innocent man because they thought he was a rapist, that would absolutely be misandric, because being automatically seen as creeps is something mostly men face. As for the mother, going past the issue of misogyny, couldn’t the mother teach her about sexuality in a more healthy manner than beating her when she’s having sex or acting sexual? Sex and the human body should be beautiful, not shameful. If she’s… Read more »
“It’s misogyny because a lot of these examples are centered around slut-shaming, which mostly happens to women, and is meant to police female sexuality.” That is pure, unadulterated feminist psychobabble horse-hockey. What I was referring to is this increasingly seldom practiced art called p-a-r-e-n-t-i-n-g, borne of love. As a father of daughters, I and my wife absolutely, positively, unequivocally, and without hesitation would and do mete out appropriate discipline to our daughters to protect them, not control them. For example, sending nude picture is a felony and the sender can be arrested and charged with transmitting child pornography and would… Read more »
You know, it’s interesting what you say because a lot of the bullying you describe centers on the pretty standardly accepted enforcement of strict rules governing the prevalent “mainstream” gender norms for what male and female mean. So, when boys deviate from the script and seem “effeminate” and when girls act in wholly “unacceptable” and promiscuous ways (not judged the same way in boys) they are penalized by their peers, boys and girls. In both instances I think it is arguable that the double standard and the implied hierarchy are misogynistic.
I didn’t describe any bullying, Aya did. I merely applied logic and reason. According to your and her logic, a mother trying to prevent her daughter from being arrested and having to register as a sex offender for the rest of her life is misogyny.
Right. Makes perfect sense.
Most people realize that kids who are different have always been picked on as bullies.
“Mean girls generally have other mean girls as friends. Haven’t you noticed that bullies very seldom act totally alone? If they hated females (misogyny), they would have no female friends but they do.”
A lot of male misogynists have wives, unrequited crushes, female coworkers, and aquaintances. That doesn’t mean they don’t beat them, try to control them, slut-shame them—or take the hatred out on other women. The mean girls are no different. Their girl ‘friends’ might be nothing more than pawns. Who says they actually like or respect them?
“A lot of male misogynists have wives, unrequited crushes, female coworkers, and aquaintances. “ I have made the very same point in the past about both misogynists and misandrists. So, thank you. As you point out, the fact that a man is married does not prove that he is not a misogynist. Her very well could be. What determines that is his speech and actions toward women in general. If his speech and/or actions or policies supported are anti-female, there is evidence that he is misogynist, married/unrequited crush or not. Likewise, just because a feminist is married or at… Read more »
HE very well could be, not “her” very well could be. Sorry for the typo.
Yeah, we agree on all of that. I was just extending it to (some) females who bully other females. Having female ‘friends’ does not mean that a woman isn’t using misogynistic language and or practicing such actions and supporting policies against other women.
Yeah, there’s a male blogger here who writes straight-up misandristic content.
Where are the men’s articles on this site? If I wanted to read Jezebel or the OWN then I would go there.
Talk about false advertising.
They are all over the site. They are in plain sight, absolutely everywhere. PLENTY of them. But if you can’t see them, and feel there is false advertising, why come to the site? Why read an article like this if you know it is only going to aggravate you and cause you to complain? Doesn’t that get old? Why not just find a site that works for you and that has the content you’re looking for, and none that you’re not looking for, and have an enjoyable reading experience? Life’s too short to read stuff you’re not interested in!
I think his point was that this is supposed to be a masculinist safe-space. I don’t agree, I like the variety of things posted here, but given the proliferation of feminist material as compared to masculinist its not hard to see why hes angry to see it here too.
I hear you; however, the problem is me, and others like me – maybe you too. Those of us who wish there were more articles on men, not the feminist world-view of men, which ironically tends to be anti-male (i.e. this article) need to be part of the solution and contribute an article or three. I haven’t contributed a single article but have written enough material through comments to comprise several articles. I’ve complained about some material that is shockingly misandristic such as that absurd piece that states that virtually all married men are rapists, but never bothered to write… Read more »
Hi Eric — Bravo! I would love to see you contribute — you and I have talked about this before. Your comments have certainly been valued, and yes, it is apparent that you know a thing or two about being good. We look forward to your contributions, along with those of any others who would like a more balanced site. Please email me, lisa at goodmenproject dot com with your submission. Thanks!
Not anti-male, just anti-misogyny. The problem is that the “end of men” (i.e. Hanna Rosin) argument is really the idea that there is an “end of [specific type of definition of] masculinity”. There is no way that we could go through fifty years of radically redefining what it means to be female and feminine without a corresponding, though delayed, similar redefinition of what it means to be male and masculine. that’s what this entire site is about it seems to me.
I’m anti-misogyny as well. But, misandry and/or anti-male views are simply not the solution. That’s where much of this content falls, in my opinion. Also, your entire, “women and girls are powerless, sex-object, pawns of male domination, etc.” argument runs counter to Hanna Rosin’s “End of Men” argument (that you cite) that men are yesterday’s news and are heading toward extinction, being unable to adapt to today’s business environment. Your argument also makes it sound as if my $1.2B business unit would not be allowed to be run by a woman – but it is. The Occupiers would absolutely consider… Read more »
We need not be so afraid to admit that boys and girls learn differently, and we should try to help both reach their academic potential. The dispersion is large compared to the difference. Ideal gender segregated schools would have 60-40 balances (or closer), and the marginal improvement in learning would probably be lost to the degradation in socialisation. For men and women, boys and girls, the dispersion is large compared to the difference in almost everything (Height is the only exception I know of, where the difference is about twice the dispersion.). Sex segregation doesn’t provide benefits because it screws… Read more »
Soraya, I identify with your frustration. I do feel that we’ve become a very polarized society along gender dimensions in many ways, and that things are getting worse. I share your anger and outrage expressed in this article. I agree with many if not most of your points. But I do feel that boys and men are struggling a lot too. These are tough times politically and economically, and not enough pie to go around, and everyone has a lot of steam to blow off. I’ve been reading and writing on this site for just a few months, and it… Read more »
Great post. I’d like to add though that though there is a level of objectification of males that happens, and increasingly body issues. The “cut” body, hypermacho musclebound bodies that are on pretty much every advertorial for fashion, leaves a lot of men feeling this inflated sense of need to be that muscle bound low body fat supercut body and if they are overweight or a scrawnyfella then they somehow fail. To me I feel males are also becoming sexually objectified, but I do agree women receive the most of it. I’d like women to also realize that men are… Read more »
I agree entirely. The flip side of the female stereotypes is a correlating male stereotype that creates a demeaning and harrowing idea of what it means to be a man. I have written elsewhere about how these two stereotypes feed one another to the detriment of both genders, particularly in regard to sexual harassment and rape. One of the most insidious aspects of gender imbalances is manifested in the degree to which boys must reject fundamental aspects of their humanity in order to meet a hyper-masculine ideal. Girls not only have a lot more leeway in the range of emotions… Read more »
I don’t get this. How can you write such a gender biased article like the one above and then turn around and say that sexism is equal opportunity?
Half of these comments wouldn’t have been necessary if you had made clear in your original piece that you acknowlege sexism against men. Have another look at your writing, it really really looks like you’re denying its existance.
Lori – you and I are on the same page. Have been writing here, too, for a relatively recent time. However, both here and in other venues I have noticed a very consistent thread which is that girls’ gains are interpreted as boys’ losses, which is a shame.
Agreed, and it is not a zero sum game, which I also try to get across.
They’re being interpreted as boy’s losses because efforts are not being made to achieve similar equality for boys. If more feminists (a precious few are willing to) campaigned against misandry and championed men’s issues as vehemently as they do women’s they would be alot more credible as gender equality activists.
It’s probably because of things like the focus on getting female grades up, which is a great thing, but recent stats show the boys have slipped behind quite a bit and are having a crisis of their own. I can’t fault people for boosting people up to equality, but what I HATE is when we do it and ignnooreee the ones who were ahead to the point they can fall behind without people making big efforts to acknowledge it. If we give girls x amount of attention, resources to the point it’s significantly benefitting them over boys the aren’t we… Read more »
Miss Representation such a clever play on words! But the premise posited seems to be that the Media only misrepresents the female. How about the misrepresentation of race, disability, sexuality and so many other issues – no gender required. Okay – take some nasty shoot up video game. When was the last time you saw a gay wheelchair user being the hero? If they feature at all ( given that programmers and distributors don’t want adverse publicity ) they would be thee one who gets shot to pieces and nuked at level one. Ever been the kid in the wheel… Read more »
Not sure how well a wheelchair bound violent game could go. A wheelchair-o-death, motorized with guns n rockets. Although I do recall the Dragoons in Starcraft were fallen protoss who were linked up to biomechanical bodies. Also Avatar has a wheelchair hero, however the emphasis was on him to be walking. There is a Rutger Hauer? movie about a blind samurai, also Takeshi Kitano directed and starred in one for the same topic. I guess the trouble is it’s seen as a disability and action movies/games tend to involve a lot of running but for ones based on machines they… Read more »
Jun – I’m looking for some media with an action hero or heroin over retirement age on a zimmer frame or walker?
Since you seem to have an eye for the most minority of action types – any idea where I can find an example? P^)
Possibly only comedies where they use young stunt doubles, maybe in asian cinema?
Easier to find older actors/actresses though they are generally still able-bodied. Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino, westerns/cowboys, a few police movies and generally the samurai movies have actors over 50 kicking ass.
I’d watch a movie with a motorscooter grandpa/ma full of guns n gadgets on it:D
Women only have themselves to blame for the fact that 17% of our government is female. Women constitute the majority of the electorate. If women voted as a block, they would literally control every election, and yet the don’t run. Stop with the “woe is me” act, as statics clearly demonstrate, the average American woman is far better off than the average American man.
This not not a woe is me act. It’s a woe is us act.
Doesn’t answer the question.
I would suggest that you pull yoour head out of the TV set and actually talk to some young men and women. The ones I know (and I know plenty) do not fit the glib stereotypes you’re talking about. The boys don’t see the girls as accessories and the girls don’t see the public and political sphere as “boy stuff”.
Maybe you need to take in the Chicken Little tone most discussions of gender in public space adopt? Just a thought.
Whenever I hear feminists talking about how impossible it is to dismantle patriarchy, I always think of Steven Goldberg and his thesis that patriarchy is inevitable. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Inevitability_of_Patriarchy If women and men are in fact equally competitive and equal risk-takers then there is big mystery. How exactly did patriarchy become dominant. Why is patriarchy a universal human institution observed across all kinds of different societies? There are many things that vary in societies: culture, religion, customs, language. But somethings things do not. Patriarchy appears to be an invariant. You can’t explain an invariant thing using something which varies. You cannot use… Read more »
“This directly applies here for these “natural” experiments in societies: culture, economics, religion are not controlled for. So they can’t be the factors that explain patriarchy. This leaves biology.”
Please leave Biology out of the discussion! When it gets raised we all end up having to become Hermaphrodites – with equal size boobs and equidistant appendages! P^)
But, it is of great interest that when you remove all other factors the only one left is Biology. Since we all share the same biology – who’s fault is it all?
Is it all just chromosomal differences?
Economic factors *do* have several common factors running through them:
-Hunter gatherers, First farmers, Soldier states, Slave States, all of the early economies, with few exceptions were based on (mostly) male physical labour.
-Men can’t breastfeed, which is important in a society with no powder formula
-Men aren’t disabled for nine months by reproduction
Its no accident whatsoever that third world countries stick closer to gender roles. They’re survival tactics. If it were purely biological (and I suspect it is partially) feminism wouldn’t have had a chance.
Countless silly statements here. . . “How many ways can we set our kids up either by undermining their confidence (girls?) or creating a false sense of entitlement and power (boys?)?” If this is true, why boys the ones having so much more trouble than girls? (e.g. why are boys the ones committing suicide far more frequently?) “I mean, why do girls need to understand the effects on their health, jobs … life, of having the bare minimum gender representation in Congress? What’s wrong with 17% anyway?” They live 7 years longer. That’s the ultimate in gender inequality. Regarding Congress,… Read more »
@ Soraya I think you’re confusing the trend of masculinity retreating within itself as actual male empowerment. The Young men obsessed with cage fighting, porn & video games are not and have ever been the most coveted voting demographic. That honor goes to women & its those same women who are choosing male representation. You can’t remove the decision making ability of a congressional voting block just because it doesn’t fit your notion of gender parity. Expecially when women are the one’s doing the voting. When you said- “Changing the status quo means literally changing everything from the way toys are packaged… Read more »
Sorry, am a bit confused. I think it may be difficult to understand what I am talking about in reference to the movie unless you have seen it. Part of the message is clearly that women, as much as men, are left with the overwhelming sense that women are not able to lead. It’s not a matter of my notion of gender parity, but rather a matter of parity in media representations, of which there is none.
Really? Whereas men get left with *wonderful* role models like Arnie and Freddie Kruger.
The last spark of a feminist in me this morning is compelled to point out that all of this not making any of us happy. Twice as many girls experience depression as boys, Regarding that figure, I suspect there is alot of boys are not being diagnosed with depression as: 1. Theres a strong correlation between suicide and depression 2. In the U.S, male adolescents commit suicide at a rate five times greater than that of female adolescents In the U.S, male adolescents commit suicide at a rate five times greater than that of female adolescents, although suicide attempts by… Read more »
I suspect there is alot =, I suspect there are alot
Valid points there jameseq. There is not just the issue of people seeking help where there is gender disparity. There are noted gender differences in how depression are assessed and viewed. Also, when support is sought standard methodologies for assessing depression are actually based upon adult studies – the assessment tools are found to be age biased. It’s a double whammy! In the same way, many drugs have had to stop being prescribed. The trials were on adults and the findings not applicable to children. Age bias wins again. It just got missed in the big picture. It is not… Read more »
Great article! Perceiving the extent to which the system is messed up and how deeply inegalitarianism runs is depressIng, but at least gives a clarity that drives us to challenge it. The sociologist Allan G Johnson writes a lot about how oppressions are systematically perpetuated and how individuals take paths of least resistance that support the status quo. I really recommend his book The Gender Knot, and if you google him and find his website there are videos of his talks. Really useful for taking the emphasis off the individual and focusing on the systematic change – which as you… Read more »
“Look at which countries have the largest wealth gaps and compare that to a ranking of those with the least gender equity. No surprises there—the ones with the smallest gap happen to be the ones with the highest equity.”
You mean like Japan?
More like Sweden!
Take a look at the link and studies. There is alot that goes into assessments of wealth disparity and measures of “happiness” but there is also just the simple fact that the women in a country are free, healthy and educated chances are the entire country benefits.
Agreed. However, I’m pretty sure that applies to all the humans on the country, even if they happen to be male.
this means if we’re single with no children were exempt yes?
Absolutely. Off the hook.