Sexual harassment is less prevalent among men than women, but it still happens. And according to a recent study, men struggle to deal with it.
Researchers at Michigan State University surveyed more than 6,000 men and women serving in the five branches of the U.S. military. The surveys touched on 16 different types of physical and verbal harassment—seemingly covering everything.
For women, sexual harassment was threatening, but only when they saw it as frightening—not when they saw it as bothersome. For men, sexual harassment was threatening whether it was frightening or bothersome.
Isis Settles, the study’s lead investigator, told EurekAlert:
People tend to underestimate the impact of sexual harassment on men. [Men] typically haven’t had a lifetime of experiences dealing with sexual harassment and may not know how to deal with it when it happens to them.
The study also says that sexual harassment is no less distressing for women than it is for men.
Settles noted that women experience sexual harassment so frequently—60 percent according to the survey—that they’re sort of developing something similar to “immunity to infection following exposure to a virus.”
Margaret Hartmann of Jezebel wrote:
Instead, the study suggests that women are experiencing so much harassment that they’ve learned to differentiate between annoying and threatening behavior. While harassment may be surprising for men, it’s so common for women that they’ve been forced to develop a way to keep functioning in a hostile environment.
The results are an unsettling reminder of the harmful effects of male privilege. Men are so accustomed to not being vigilant and on guard against harassment, assault, and rape that we’re often blind to the ceaseless precautions women take. Our reaction to harassment is often one of indignation, as though men, by nature, are supposed to be exempt.
The status quo is so deeply ingrained that when men feel violated by unwelcome advances or even—yes, it happens, and more frequently than we think—assault or rape, we won’t speak up out of fear of shame and humiliation. We fear that by being male victims, we’re not real men.
Sexual harassment is pervasive and ubiquitous and happens to people of all genders. Even if the statistics are disproportionate—and my guess is, if you factor in undocumented male abuse in the prison system, it might not be—our support of victims needs to be gender-blind. Fighting rape culture means refusing to diminish victims’ experiences because of their frequency or their perceived abnormality. The impact of abuse is the same.
We’ve just got to start listening.
—Photo latinoman_2009/Photobucket
About Ryan O'Hanlon
Fighting rape culture means refusing to diminish victims’ experiences because of their frequency or their perceived abnormality. The impact of abuse is the same.
Not only diminishing victims experience but then shaping laws and policies around those perceptions. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen stories where men/boys are the victim of a sexual harassment/assault/rape and its like the writer will try to play it up as if by virtue of gender he cannot be a victim of such things. (I think this also contributes to why female sex offenders for the most part seem to get off with lighter sentences.)
Although I think its more than just “The results are an unsettling reminder of the harmful effects of male privilege.” I don’t see much “privilege” in being told that I can’t be a victim of something.
(Funny thing is a lot of what’s said here also applies to DV.)
You’re right, that would be female privilege, but the male privilege in this case is having little sexual harassment; ergo, they don’t know how to handle it when it does happen because for so long it was primarily females who were harassed. Men react to it the way they do because they haven’t been forced to develop that immunity yet this article is talking about. The fact that women have is an unsettling reminder of just how much sexual harassment women have been put through to finally develop those barriers.
Men react to it the way they do because they haven’t been forced to develop that immunity yet this article is talking about.
I think there’s a lot more to it than that. I think a big part of the reaction is that men have been forced to develop a different kind of “immunity”. As in men/boys are actively told that it doesn’t matter as much, its not as harmful, or even that its okay and that said guy should be happy about it because they should have wanted it since they are a guy.
If it were just a matter of not having it in our faces all the time like women I don’t think society’s reaction to male victims would be so terrible and negative.
I think by framing “not as much negative experiences” as “privelege” goes a long way towards preventing inter-gender dialogue and understanding
“The results are an unsettling reminder of the harmful effects of male privilege. Men are so accustomed to not being vigilant and on guard against harassment, assault, and rape that we’re often blind to the ceaseless precautions women take. Our reaction to harassment is often one of indignation, as though men, by nature, are supposed to be exempt.”
I’m sorry but that was total and utter nonsense in my opinion, men are x8 more likely to be victimised by violent crime than women are. and more likely to be abused as children and the men in the military that are being interviewed are talking part in the most effective systemic gender based violence program there is.
I think the idea is that the culture (or at least MRAs) lets men fight back and trains them to do so, but not women. That doesn’t make violence or harassment of men right, but just means that they have more means to defeat it when it arises. Some women are increasingly skilled at self-defense and even non-violent means of defusing a violent act, though.
I agree with the author. I think many men (and some women – like Sarah Palin?) have become desensitized to violence. They are then highly reactive when they are the receiving end of it, and often perpetuate the cycle of violence either in a fight with the perpetrator or with others, and don’t know better means for dealing with it.
Mother is main child abuser, boys are disproportionately affected, learn its ok for boys to be hit and is also told not to hit their sisters, so negative suggestion informs it must be ok to hit boys and you see this pattern throughout the culture, if the mother goes too hard on the boy he might just go on to regain his power from someone like her in negative ways as an adult, sister learns from mother in that this goes on behind closed doors and this is all hidden and protected by taboo, the truth is guarded by females, certain types of males and political correctness, there is your cycle of violence, it starts withe main care giver.
Blaming the culture entirely for these things is really just a dogmatic pretext for changing the culture – cultural marxism.
And I don’t know what you are saying about mra’s, there are a few people here who are sure that they understand the mrm, all are saying different things none have done the due diligence.
Failure to see the father as a source of child abuse is a sure sign of denial.
This is a classic MRA position. To the extent there is a unifying view among them it is a blaming of women (especially women who speak, who are called “feminists” even if they don’t self-identify that way, like Kay Hymowitz) for all problems AND a failure to hold any man accountable, especially any father.
No, of course fathers can be the source of abuse too, but generally most peoples first taste of violence comes from the mother and mothers show up as doing most of the child abuse and obviously have been doing most of the socialising. Also, abuse is supposedly more damaging when it comes from the mother, it feels like more of a betrayal for the child.
So, mothers are conditioning most of the dysfunction into society, but we are supposed to keep that quiet and blame the culture or lay the blame 100% on men instead, and that is an abuse culture.
I would imagine at least as much abuse/neglect comes at the hands of fathers, but because some boys identify with their fathers and want the power that being the abuser/neglecter brings, it becomes much more convenient to blame women and say things like “most peoples first taste of violence comes from the mother and mothers show up as doing most of the child abuse and obviously have been doing most of the socialising. Also, abuse is supposedly more damaging when it comes from the mother, it feels like more of a betrayal for the child.”
Placing the majority of the burden of parenting on the mother is a very convenient way for a man to avoid responsibility for the work of taking care of his children as well as for doing the emotional work of dealing with any problems in his relationship with his own father. He doesn’t have to become an adult and hold other men accountable. He can just blame “mommy”
I am a woman now well into adulthood who was abused by both my parents by that by my father was much worse. My mother’s abuse/neglect derived at least in part from his control of resources (she had no autonomy and was not able to get to adult psychology because of it), whereas his abuse/neglect was a choice he made. He is an MRA and continues to be one. I have zero contact with him.
Reader
Im sorry to hear that about your childhood, but I’m going by the statistics, women are more likely to abuse children is all categories of abuse, except the 4% or so of it that is sexual, but some experts believe that female child sex abusers are being kept hidden by various cultural taboos and, I believe the two ideologies that feature a female as morally superior construct, Christianity and feminism.
As for your second to last paragraph, I can just as easily turn that around and say that you are conveniently avoiding developing and adult psychology buy blaming the nearest man/men/culture/society and denying women agency whenever it suits. Also, you position that I am guilty of what other men do, and that I should hold them accountable, show my how it do it by example, take responsibility for what other women do and hold them accountable so I can see by example how it is that you expect me to act. Finely I have done nothing more than here than take an opposite position to your and quite frankly I resent having to take the time out to respond to your second to last paragraph which is nothing more than a gratuitous personal and misandrist attack.
MRA = Abuser’s lobby.
Not surprised in the least.
generally most peoples first taste of violence comes from the mother
In a culture where it’s assume that fathers only play a limited role in raising children and where corporal punishment is practiced. Sounds like (one more) good reason to question those assumptions and chance practice accordingly.
and mothers show up as doing most of the child abuse and obviously have been doing most of the socialising. Also, abuse is supposedly more damaging when it comes from the mother, it feels like more of a betrayal for the child
So, where did that “obviously” come from? From assuming that raising children is a women’s job, maybe?
Rather than blame women for how your kids are raised, why not get out there and be fathers for your kids? Take some responsibility – that’s how real change happen.
This is not talking about violent crime. It is talking about harassment.
The results are an unsettling reminder of the harmful effects of male privilege.
It cannot be a privilege for bad things not to happen unless bad things regularly occur. The majority of people are not sexually harassed, and while some women may experience sexual harassment, it is an everyday event for all or most women experience it everyday. Therefore, it is not a male privilege not to be sexually harassed anymore than it is a female privilege not to be assaulted by a stranger.
Men are so accustomed to not being vigilant and on guard against harassment, assault, and rape that we’re often blind to the ceaseless precautions women take.
That is not true. The vast majority of assaults occurs against men. The FBI crime reports support that. The issue is how men are taught to respond to threats. Men are taught that they can handle every problem, just as they are taught that if they fail to it is not only their own fault if they get hurt, but that they are no loner men because of it. This narrative of “shut up and deal with it” effects how men will respond, perhaps more so than the frequency of such experiences.
It does not appear that Settles factored in any potential social and cultural norms, which may explain the rather bold assertion that men “typically haven’t had a lifetime of experiences dealing with sexual harassment and may not know how to deal with it when it happens to them.” The study did not ask people about their lifetime experiences, only what they experienced during a 12-month period, so it is unclear how Settles reached that conclusion.
Fighting rape culture means refusing to diminish victims’ experiences because of their frequency or their perceived abnormality.
There is no such thing as “rape culture” any more than there is a war on Christmas. However, the anti-male, pseudo-theory does play a role in diminishing male victims’ experiences and treating them as abnormalities. The first step to listening to men is to lose the preconceived notions and victim-blaming theories like “rape culture” and start talking about the issues on their own merits.
I agree with some of what you say but when you say “The first step to listening to men is to lose the preconceived notions and victim-blaming theories like “rape culture” and start talking about the issues on their own merits.”
“Rape culture” is not a victim-blaming theory; it is a perpetrator-blaming theory that looks at who becomes the perpetrator and why. Sometimes this is because the perpetrator was him/herself a victim as a child or in other circumstance. Sometimes it is because of entitlement borne of privilege (such as male privilege in the political economy or mommy or daddy privilege in the family).
When you say “start talking about the issues on their own merits” it sounds as though you see your viewpoint as the only valid one. This is, by definition, narcissism or “male privilege.” Male privilege derives from the male control of resources, where resources are allocated through competition, even to the point of war, between men – excluding women. Because the resources are allocated by fighting this is narcissistic; each man takes whatever he can get – nothing is negotiated, there is no process of “seeing” both your point of view and another man’s, much less a woman’s.
Men (or women for that matter) cannot get out of victimization or perpetration without looking at “male privilege” and the broader systemic issues, including learning to empathize with others.
Holding an opinion about a gender issue, and believing one’s opinion to be correct, is no more an example of male privilege than holding an opinion about health care is an example of social democratic privilege.
Validity does not enter the equation.
Have you seen “Spartacus: Blood and Sand”? An interesting look at both male and female sexual harassment – of actual slaves, not employees – in Rome B.C..
I think the “privilege” theme sets up an infinite regress of “nothing will ever be good enough” and has the subtle effect of disempowering both women and racial minorities. Emphasizing empowerment is a far better strategy. Those with privilege won’t give it up, so the idea is to strengthen anyone who doesn’t have it.
Most women and men don’t live in rape culture. There are rape cultures, to be sure. Prison is one. A recent article (maybe here, maybe not) (Oh, I think it was in NYT) said the guards perpetrate most prison rapes. That’s incorrect: it’s mostly inmates who do this. Guards do a fair amount, to be sure. Amy Fisher was repeatedly raped by guards, for example.
The overblown nature of these statements has to do with the nature of moral entrepreneurs and moral panics. This issues represent jobs and money for some. That’s why they are infinitely regressive.
I’ve been sexually harrassed by women about three times and by gays about twice. I just ignored it in each case, and left the setting in one case.
If a man harrasses me in another sense, I can do one of three things: (1) Ignore it (in academia, I’ve learned to do this.) (2) Threaten him verbally (I’m pretty good at this, and believe me it’s sometimes necessary. Putdowns can be your friend here, where you humiliate the person, instead of threaten to hurt him. [You hurt his social standing instead.]) This too is sometimes necessary in academia. 3. Physically defend yourself. I haven’t had to do this since I was 38 (I’m 66), but it can be necessary.
Sometimes, interestingly, you need to use methods (1) and (2) against women as well. There are some very aggressive women out there, and they often are less honorable than men about conflict.
But I need to add that what we need to do is get women using these tools, rather than emphasizing their victimhood.
Yes, if you are an amoral or only primitively moral person (i.e. rule-adherent or rule-objecting but not understanding the meaning behind rules), you would not get what all the fuss is about “rape culture,” I suspect.
Kohlberg’s highest stage of moral development (post-conventional) emphasizes seeing each ethical decision in terms of its unique characteristics, rather than in terms of a rule.
Lack of boundaries (like I gather Kohlberg is promoting) tends to be promoted by male privilege fans on the left; and too-rigid boundaries tend to be promoted by male privilege fans on the right. Please read some women and not just men.
I think that boundaries are needed; they need to be porous, flexible and amendable, however.
And, again, you’ll get nowhere in any sort of quality morality when you don’t learn to empathize, which requires full emotional range.
Obviously some boundaries are necessary. I tend to like what Herbert Marcuse implies. He wrote before the term “boundaries” was much in use. We sometimes develop surplus repression (read surplus boundaries) because of the need to be part of a productive (also bureaucratic) economy. We have to make a living, raise kids, etc., and that needs rules. He said we can go overboard with these rules, though, and this just strengthens those in power bcause people live in fear (especially sexually.) Sex is a great hook for guilt and fear, and is often the currency of a more general repression. At the same time, we let out some of the urges we have in a “repressed” way. Silly products are examples of this. Jetskis or motorcycles or jewelry might \be examples of this false freedom (to consume). Repressive porn (not egalitarian erotica) is an example par excellence. I like what you said about male privilege fans on the left– that’d probably be me.
A lot of the problem is that men are expected to defend themselves independently as much as possible. Women are (usually) trained to go to the appropriate authorities when they feel threatened. Aside from constant exposure to harassment, being forced to decide when to ask for help has probably made us (the women) more discerning about what and what kind of harassment is more than just annoying. But men believe very deeply (and erroneously) that if they have a problem that it is their sole duty to solve it and feel weak when they are unable to (at least it seems that way).
But, Jesus Christ forreal, we have to stop thinking that victims of sexual abuse deserved it. They just don’t. End of story. When someone reports harassment we need to take it seriously no matter who they are. We need to protect each other as much as we can. Men need to stop objectifying women and women need to stop objectifying men. We need to respect each other all the time in all situations.
If you know someone who is being harassed, please encourage them to seek help. Support sexual harassment victims and make sure they know they have support. It might give them the courage they need to seek justice.
Well, the title of the article is “Men cant deal with sexual harassment” which to use feminist terminology sounds like victim blaming.
Because women are so out numbered in the military, the sexual harassment of men that was measured must mainly be male on male and for the same reasons the sexual harassment that women are reporting must mainly be male on female, so I’d imagine that a certain amount of homophobia must be recorded in the male responses that isn’t there in the female.
I wonder why the researchers didn’t chose a workplace that is closer to the average for their study?
A male reports sexual assault (groping and fondling) by a woman to the appropriate government agency, and he has a witness, who happens to be a female. He’s laughed at, and asked, “What the matter? She ugly?” Then they show him the door.
A male is threatened by his supervisor that his career prospects could be bleak if he doesn’t spend a little off-duty time with her. About two years later he self-commits to a behavioral health care clinic to prove his supervisors claims of him having a disorder are false. (And this was a specially manned position, meaning the organization had Asked for him.) The clinics director helps him get transferred, but of course, there’s no promotion.
A male calls the police dispatcher and reports being slapped around by his wife. The dispatcher asks him what his response was. He replies that he held his wife by the wrists to stop her. The dispatcher tells him he could be charged with assault – not his wife – and is advised to pack his things and leave.
A male calls the police out to his house because of verbal and physical abuse by his wife. When they get there, the police listen for almost an hour, TO THE WIFE. They will not let him speak. They will not let him leave. They persistently ply her to admit that he was the perpetrator and she was the victim, but she actually tells the truth and sticks to it, even with f___ing hints from them to do otherwise. And that truth was that he got home “immediately” after work, and she cut loose AND he didn’t do a thing to protect himself, not even a word passed his lips. WHILE THEIR TWO KIDS SAT ON HIS LAP! The police got up to leave, and he asked them about his chance to speak. “You had your chance, Mr … We suggest you pack your things and leave, because if we have to come out again, you’ll be leaving with us.”
And there’s more, but who gives a …
Oh, yes. And before you laugh and think something less of this “poor jerk”, consider that during his life he had participated in completions including: karate, powerlifting, biking, X-country skiing, pistol and rifle, ultra-marathons, and even Winter Olympic Trials. (No, he never made the Olympics.)
Somehow, the “equality” seems to be missing form Equal Rights and Opportunities.
When I was younger, I had some experience with street harassment. I got verbally sexually harassed about 2 dozen times or so based on the standard in the article. I got groped about 6 times with 1 time being below the belt. There were a few other sexual experiences I won’t get into. At work, I got constantly asked by an older woman to vacation with her in Mexico or Puerto Rico. A woman rested her hand on my thigh when she was talking to me. Another woman just this year grabbed my upper thigh while trying to make a point. I think she was probably too excited and would have been a lot more excited if she grabbed a couple inches up and to the left. A woman brushed lint off my thigh. A couple women cleaned off the front of my shirt. One woman felt my biceps. A woman poked me repeatedly in the stomach and one patted me there. The 27 or 28 year old who made a positive compliment on my body a couple weeks ago just did it again last Friday. A woman I didn’t want hugging me had hugged me. A woman I didn’t want to hug asked for one so I did and another had asked twice. She got one both times.
I’ve made no complaints of sexual harassment and although I can remember most instances, I don’t dwell on them. Is that because I have a long history of being harassed? I don’t think so. I trace it back to a conversation I had with a friend. A woman had asked him for a hug and he gave her one. When she left I asked him why didn’t you tell her no because she wasn’t attractive and I know he didn’t want to? He told me it’s just a hug. I figure four hugs or so in 15 years ain’t much to ask. The women who touched my thighs have been there a long time so I can’t see complaining about 1 indiscretion over 10 years. The one who keeps inviting me over can dream about how I’d look in speedos. The women who felt my abs and arm I think caused this. The one who jabbed my stomach asked me why is it hard. The other commented that it’s like a new stomach and the woman who felt my biceps couldn’t believe that the muscle was real. Somehow the rumor got around that although I don’t look it, I’m solid. My big problem is figuring out what to do with the young woman. She cooks well. I’ll miss the food. I’m not leading her on, but I haven’t told her that I’m not interested either.
It comes down to 2 things for me. Is it worth ruining someone’s life over and it’s just a hug.