1. This is the best kickball-related email I’ve ever seen.
2. Finding love in a book store.
3. Don’t ever call a mentally unstable German goalie “a Muppet.”
4. A pop star not named Wyclef becomes president of Haiti.
5. Jon Stewart isn’t happy with the president.
6. The distance between your scrotum and your anus makes you fertile.
7. Here’s how you make driving more exciting.
8. Keychains should never contain live animals.
9. McDonald’s is trying to single-handedly fix the economy.
10. Oh, do they now?
—Photo Port of San Diego/Flickr