So, apparently advice books –> movies is the new thing? Presumably started by the execrable He’s Just Not That Into You, one of the few movies to pass neither the Bechdel Test nor the Reverse Bechdel Test*, the trend includes What To Expect When You’re Expecting, which in a triumph of sexism does not appear to have any female main characters in a movie based on a book about pregnancy. And the subject of my current ire, i.e., Think Like A Man.
Think Like A Man is based on Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, which is a book that is full of wise quotes like the following:
“Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love—it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or demand… Well, I’m here to tell you that expecting that kind of love— that perfection—from a man is unrealistic.”
Yes, really. I cannot tell if it is more offensive to women, insofar as they are expected to live up to an unrealistic ideal of perfect self-sacrificing love that no human being could actually fulfill, or to men, insofar as apparently being kind, compassionate, and patient is too difficult for the gender that brought us St. Francis of Assisi and Martin Luther King and Gandhi.
I will now tell you the good bits about the movie, insofar as I can tell from the trailer, which I have watched so you don’t have to:
- It has tons of people of color in it.
About ozyfrantz
If you want to be very generous People Magazine may have meant that it’s depiction of women would be sexist if it’s depiction of men wasn’t so horrible that it just becomes misanthropic instead
If it was misanthropic it would be just portraying everyone as unpleasant morons regardless of gender, rather than conforming to specific gender stereotypes. It’s misandric and misogynistic both.
This stupid made-up idea that men and women are two completely different warring (and always hetero) species is only good for those who want to sell stuff…books, movie tickets, products, advice, magazines, etc. Vote no with your dollar and save your budget and your brain cells.
Couldn’t've said it better mahself.
I would also like to congratulate People Magazine on the phrase “an advice tome that would be sexist except for the fact that it treats men like simple mutts in need of training.” Except whoops that is very sexist! Please collect your “I cannot understand what sexism is” certificate at the door.
Didn’t you get the memo Ozy? Apparently sexism can only be male against female so that “it treats men like simple mutts in need of training” would only count as “discrimination”. Despite the fact that this type of treatment of men is basically everywhere it’s still not sexism because it’s happening to men.
Now if one were to point out what’s happening to women, THEN it would be sexism.
It’s all about the technicalities, double think, and erasure Ozy.
Where does one get this memo? I think I was out sick and missed the Homofeminazi Conspiracy Planning Subcommittee meeting that day, Ozy can you email me a copy?
No matter if it is sexism or flat out misanthropy, Danny, it’s totally uncool and Ozy’s calling it out.
I’m beginning to become of fan of the word misanthropy, frankly. It seems like the callous disregard and manipulation that the government seems to have for it’s citizens is more akin to a general “mis” than an “andry” or “gyny” at this point. Though I suspect there are always going to be subgroups smacking at each other.
FWIW, I have never gotten this memo either, nor known about the meeting times or places. Outcast, again!
I’m sorry you were sick mythago (hope you’re okay) but thankfully copies of it can be found at FinallyFeminism101 and other major feminist sites.
But goodness I didn’t realize that that was the name of subcommitte. I thought it was the Patriarchy Hurts Men Too But Remember It Hurts Women Worse subcommitte.
Oh wait a minute! I think I see what you did there….
Julie:
No matter if it is sexism or flat out misanthropy, Danny, it’s totally uncool and Ozy’s calling it out.
And I’m glad that Ozy is on it.
FWIW, I have never gotten this memo either, nor known about the meeting times or places.
Well saying it that way beats sarcastically claiming it doesn’t happen…
For the record, the place that tipped me off about the People Magazine review was Shakesville, pretty much the feministiest feminists on the planet. Perhaps they’re missing their memos too…? Whoever’s in charge of the conspiracy really needs an updated email list.
Or maybe they are finally coming around to the idea that the memo was wrong. Which is a good thing overall to be sure.
For the record, the place that tipped me off about the People Magazine review was Shakesville, pretty much the feministiest feminists on the planet. Perhaps they’re missing their memos too…?
Well one of the main brains behind Shakesville is also a main brain behind FinallySexism101 so….
I find the opening quote offensive because it says that I should put up with some douche canoe simply because I love him. No matter what he does to me, I still have to walk through a mountain (???????? on that) for him because my love is. just. that. pure. That if I’m a real woman capable of real love, I’ll put up with any “acting out” some dude cares to shit my way.
And, of course, that is what men are wont to do, isn’t it. Act out. That’s what they do! They can’t help it! Love them anyway, women!
And, of course, everything else. Although I have to say I’m more ecstatic that we’re talking about how this shit is, once again, shit that rains down on everyone. AUGH.
You left out the fact that men are never compassionate or generous, men never walk through mountains (whatever that means) for their partners, women never act out, women never do crazy things, and women never demand time or effort.
But the worst part about that quote: it ignores the fact that a relationship, regardless of the participants and how they identify, needs open, honest, good-hearted, non-passive-aggressive communication; it needs commitment to cross-facilitation (I facilitate you; you facilitate me); and it needs NO SUBSTITUTES for either of the above. If these conditions are not met, a relationship is a ship that WILL break up on the rocks life throws at it (money, the tribulations of raising children, etc.), full stop.
So, not only is the opening paragraph sexist, it’s bad advice. it’s bad advice because it’s sexist, but it’s also bad advice because the author has NO CLUE how to build a healthy relationship.
>.<
Nothing is worse than stealing forty cakes. Nothing.
I dunno. How about taking one bite out of each of forty cakes – coz you wouldn’t want to overdo it, would you ?
Wisdom would say consider the source of the advice and if the adviser walks the talk or just talks all the way to the bank.