A very cool lady named Kimberly, a fan of our little blog, has contacted us with a proposal so fun it has little anime-sparklies dancing in my eyes:
The philosophy behind Cock Tales is simple. The artistic world is filled to the brim with examinations of female sexuality, female persecution, and criticisms and analysis of what it means to be female. Yet when I search for the same kind of expressions of maleness, I inevitably walk away empty-handed.
As a feminist, I find this rather unsettling. Have we spent years fighting for equality only to deny our brothers the very forms of expression we so emphatically demand? There is not an equal representation of the introspective, self-examining male in theatrical work. Or an equal representation of examinations of male sexuality, male persecution, or criticisms and analysis of what it means, socially and systemically, to be male.
Drawing inspiration from The Vagina Monologues, I am now working to compile a series of monologues written by men that look to explore a handful of issues revolving around – you guessed it – the cock. I am looking for any man who can pick up a pen and write a paragraph to assist me, since my experience in this area is, obviously, limited.
I am looking for any sort of writing (good, bad, monologue, prose, snippets, 5 page essays… whatever) that have to do with sex, masturbation, love, definitions of masculinity, social expectations, pressures, gender enforcement, ED, sexuality, fetishes, power, puberty and
the penis. I’ll take submissions from anyone – teenage, middle aged, ancient, 20-something, straight, gay, asexual, cissexual, MtF, FtM, heteroflexible, bisexual, bi-curious, metrosexual or homophobic – as long as maleness is (or once was) a part of your identity.All submissions will remain anonymous unless you request otherwise.
I feel in my bones what with the right collaboration, we can create a theatrical piece that has power, wit, meaning and will begin to truly level a long uneven playing field. Women are constantly encouraged by one another to feel, to explore, to write and to express. I call on all men to start encouraging their brothers to do the same thing.
If you have any further questions, or need help getting started, please feel free to e-mail me at kimberlyrdavidson@gmail.com. Also, if you know any one who might like to be involved with this project, feel free to copy this letter, redistribute it, and get other men involved!
I think it would be best for Ms. Davidson, and for her project, if she is so swamped with brilliant submissions that it takes her a long time to even dig through them, much less begin structuring them into a performance. I’ll be doing my part; will you? Got some questions for Ms. Davidson? Ask ‘em in comments!
About Noah Brand
Somehow I just noticed there should be a “comfortable” between “really” and “sharing” up there. Hopefully the comment makes more sense with that added.
@noah: You’re absolutely correct. What I’m looking for is a cross-section. The good, the bad, the ugly, the spectacularly beautiful… all of it.
@Graham: I had a writing teacher in college once tell me “There are no new stories, only new ways to tell old stories”. I think the more often a tale is told in multiple, new and interesting ways, the more impact that tale will have on the world as a whole. ^_^
By the by, I really want to thank the writers of the submissions I’ve already received. I’ve been very profoundly moved by much of what I’ve read. It’s wonderful!
@Orange: I’m deeply saddened that some awful person said such things to you. Your assessment that “I want your experiences in dealing with the homophobia endemic in Society’s Perception Of Real Men” is correct.
I think it is, however, important to examine the kind of culture and psychology that lead some men to becoming violent homophobes. The best people to get that perspective from would be this type of man himself. However, he’s probably also the least likely man to contribute to a project such as this, so I would say you needn’t worry about your contributions sharing the same artistic space as his.
From a strictly performance based standpoint, as a writer and actor, I do think such juxtaposition would be spectacularly unsettling and moving to an audience.
“But this makes me wonder…are there ‘arts’ written by men, put together by men, for men?”
Some architecture, a lot of sculpture, almost all epic poetry – almost none of which is part of any boy’s curriculum growing up BTW – lots of essays and some novels, although few were intended mianly for male audiences.
There was a similar show in DC called “Deez Nuts”. (I learned about it via coverage from The Sexist. I wasn’t in DC to see it, but it sounded pretty awesome.)
Also, my brain is now singing, “Cock Tales, woo woo!” to the Duck Tails theme.
@Rae What to do? Just grab onto some Cock Tales, woo-hoo!
…goddamnit.
…Race cars, lasers, airplanes-
Oh, god, what have you done to my mind??
–
@Arleccina: “”I think it is, however, important to examine the kind of culture and psychology that lead some men to becoming violent homophobes. The best people to get that perspective from would be this type of man himself. However, he’s probably also the least likely man to contribute to a project such as this, so I would say you needn’t worry about your contributions sharing the same artistic space as his.”"
Bullshit. What you will wind up with is an anti-gay monologue from a highly bigoted individual whose lack of self-examination and self-awareness is evidenced by his bigotry. Incidentally, misogny is also fairly endemic to Society’s Perception of Real Men according to a lot of feminist thought so where is the warm welcome to woman-haters?
It’s not so much a real concern, per se, that I’m going to share “artistic space” with a homophobe so much as an attempt to highlight that welcoming that sort of person is a good way to make a good number of gay men feel unwelcome and alienated. Regardless of whether you say “welcome”. Words are pretty hollow after all.
“”From a strictly performance based standpoint, as a writer and actor, I do think such juxtaposition would be spectacularly unsettling and moving to an audience.”"
Erm, lovely… speaking as a Graphic Designer/Animator, to me, hate just looks like hate. And when I am the regular subject of hate I have this terrible failing to see the “artistic beauty of it all” and mostly just feel hated.
My college runs one of these every year called “Dick Talk.” I’ve performed twice, and once I track down my monologue, I’ll send it in.
To those of you wondering why we need this: The monologues I’ve heard were a revelation. Talking about subjects like body shaming and ED in a frank way for an hour doesn’t show up just anywhere. And on a personal note, it was deeply gratifying to perform my monologue on how transsexual men are impacted by talking about dicks.
Orange-
You’re absolutely right. Hate looks like hate.
To clarify my thinking further, please understand the the only reason I would include homophobic, misogynistic or pro-rape content into this piece is to place a glowing spotlight on the insanity that comes from enforcing unnecessary and arbitrary standards of gender. Would it be disturbing? Yes, absolutely. But I would never use such literature with the intent of suggesting I support or condone people who make the world less safe for the rest of us.
Hate is ugly. Hate is disturbing. It’s irrational and dirty and deplorable. I do not believe hate is beautiful and I do not in any way support the actions, behaviors, or words of violent individuals, regardless of their social conditioning.
Art is a reflection of humanity, and thus it is often ugly, discomforting, and sometimes downright repugnant. It holds a glass to both the good and bad. I believe that the things which make people the most uncomfortable are often the things most worth shining the surgeon’s light on; the things most worth dissection and serious discussion.
kimberly,
thank you thank you thank you
The vagina monologues meant so much to me and several of my close friends as young women because it made it okay for us to not be ashamed of our bodies. I think that is lacking for young men in our society and we need it! Is there anything that us supportive women could do to help you with this project?
@trinity-
Feel free to copy/past my letter and pass the idea along to the guys you know. Encourage them and support them in their writing. Encourage them to pass it to other men they might know who would be interested. Many thanks for your support!
@Arleccina – Then welcome the misogynists and rape-supporters. I don’t any reason those who are “homophobic” should be singled out for awelcome.
And I still have my doubts you’ll get any examination from a bigot but I hope its all artsy and fun for you.
I wanted to clarify a few things in my position on this. Firstly, relating that experience with homophobes was not intended to illicit pity. I assumed the general willingness I’ve seen here and elsewhere of people to invite homophobes to share their perspective was due to an image of homophobes as school bullies or evangelical preachers. Not that “homophobes” could include worse sorts and in offering an invite to them it may be alienating to any gay men considering your project. I chose to do this with a personal anecdote rather than statistical data and it seems this was a mistake. I’m a bit embarrassed over this mistake.
However, I do object to that experience being seen as artistic in any context.
Thanks for the clarification. I think we have some common ground to work on now.
I do not find your experience artistic; as hate and bigotry are intrinsically without aesthetic value. Threatening language, harassment and violence are not to be condoned. I do not pity you for your experiences either. As someone who has been on the receiving end of homophobic violence, I understand with great clarity the impact such things have on a life.
I do feel, however, that contextually the writings of a bigot, while not “welcomed”, could be used in a way to illustrate how damaging social expectations of masculinity can truly be (in the same way I might use Valerie Solanas’s SCUM Manifesto to illustrate the dangers of extremist misandric thinking).
In an effort to help you understand why I included “homophobe” as one of my qualifiers, let me tell you a little about the less altruistic reasons I’ve taken on this project.
I have spent a good deal of my life absolutely terrified of men.
I was drugged and raped at a party when I was 14. I dated a boy in high school whose friends constantly cornered me and harassed me. He did nothing. At 16, I was pushed down a flight of stairs by a group teenage boys while leaving a movie theater with my girlfriend. My sophomore and junior years of college, my boyfriend controlled my life by keeping me constantly terrified of him. The first semester of my junior year, he pushed me down a flight of cement steps because I’d gone out the night before and stayed over at an apartment where one of the six roommates were male. I could go on, but I won’t. These are only a handful of experiences out of a lifetime of such things. And I know, from conversation with other women and lots and lots of reading, that my experiences with men aren’t unique by any stretch of the imagination.
And yet the good men in my life stand out in stark contrast to the bad. There’s my father; the best man I’ve ever had the privilege to know. My brave, bold, intelligent, talented older brother; who served two tours in Iraq. My sensitive, musical, artistic, younger brother; an engineering major and a brilliant poet. My current boyfriend; one of the few true gentlemen I’ve ever known. He’s smart, self-aware, supportive. He insists on my independence and is avidly devoted to DV awareness and justice. So much so that he’s pursuing a career in criminal justice.
So I have spent a good time wondering: Why the disconnect? What happens to boys that turns some into monsters and some into musicians? Why are there rape apologists? PUAs? MRA extremists? Men who would defend patriarchy to the death? Why, for every one of them, is there a DV officer? A gentleman? A feminist? And why on Earth aren’t we talking about it? When I hear people talk about the negative stereotypes of women in sitcoms or Hollywood’s latest romcom, I rarely hear them talk about the equally negative stereotypes of men in the exact same shows and films. Why? Furthermore, what do men think about all this? How do men feel about expectations of performance, penis size, and constant sexual availability? How do men feel about the common social belief in the coy female? How do men feel about rape? Abuse (emotional or physical)? Masturbation? Orgasm? Growing up? Marriage?
Just as I’ve spent time battling the belief that all men are violent rapists and that male sexuality is somehow toxic and perverse, I know men who have spent time struggling with the same beliefs about themselves. I can’t even begin to imagine how damaging this must be to a young boy’s self esteem and sense of worth.
My use of the qualifier “homophobe” comes from a place where I understand that it can be embarrassing and often downright horrible to look inside yourself and see the kind of bigotry you’ve spent time battling. My adolescence taught me that although A Man can be good, Men are a toxic creature from which I must constantly protect myself. When I find these thoughts creeping into my mind, I feel deep shame that I still battle that kind of bigotry within myself.
I know men for whom the struggle with homophobia and misogyny are a source of shame. Many of them recognize the social conditioning that went into the development of their prejudices, and they feel deeply ashamed of themselves when their “social brain” takes over and they find themselves repeating the social tropes they were taught to believe, but understand are incorrect, offensive, unkind and often bigoted.
As I’ve said, my goal is not to alienate potential contributors. I included the qualifier in my letter because I don’t want men who recognize the darkness in themselves to feel as though their voice would not be welcomed.
In the course of this discussion, I’ve resolved to edit my call for submission to make my thinking on this subject more clear, and I thank you for bringing such an important issue to my foremost attention.
Holy shit… sorry for the novel!
Also: Since this post went up, I’ve received 10 submissions! You guys rock. Keep ‘em coming!
Arleccina, please feel free to write more novels if they are going to be like that one.
“I feel deep shame that I still battle that kind of bigotry within myself.”
I understand how oyu would fel ashamed, if oyu have an unreasonable expectation of oyurself or of humans in general. But humans are not gentle and pure, we are vicious and cruel. Expect to find every sort of evil inside of you. It does not make you just means you are truly human. What makes you fully human is the battle you wage against it.
I’d still like my comment edited per the request I sent earlier. Perhaps one of the mods could do that for me? It is my experience and I no longer want it public and hopefully that can be my choice? Regards.