The new advertising campaign for Dr. Pepper Ten prompts some serious questions. For instance:
- Did Dr. Pepper Ten’s market research suggest that it really needed shoring up in the sexist douchebag demographic?
- How the hell can a calorie be manly?
- What planet is Dr. Pepper Ten’s advertising team on?
- What awful women have they met that none of them like action movies?
- Who is against pictures of cute animals?
- Who thought this marketing campaign was a good idea?
However, it does not prompt the question I believe they were going for, which is:
- Where can I buy this soda, because it looks awesome?
I will present Dr. Pepper Ten’s advertising without commentary, because I feel commentary would make it way less amusing.
The Facebook page of Dr. Pepper Ten includes special male-only content, including a “man quiz” about hunting and fishing and a shooting gallery where you shoot high heels and lipstick. It also features The Ten Man’ments, which are as follows:
- THOU SHALT NOT OMG. If it’s not exploding, it’s not exciting.
- THOU SHALT NOT PUCKER UP. Kissy faces are never manly.
- THOU SHALT NOT POST PICS OF YOUR OUTFIT. Unless it’s battle armor and you have a gigantic sword and/or small bazooka.
- THOU SHALT NOT POST FURRY ANIMAL VIDEOS. Exceptions made for beasts fighting to the death and bears destroying idyllic picnic scenes.
- THOU SHALT NOT MAKE A “MAN-GAGEMENT” ALBUM. That is all.
- THOU SHALT NOT SHARE YOUR HOROSCOPE. Daily.
- THOU SHALT NOT INSTAGRAM YOUR LUNCH. Real men eat lunch not tweet it.
- THOU SHALT NOT UNTAG UNFLATTERING PICS. We know you were there.
- THOU SHALT NOT END A COMMENT WITH A =)
- THOU SHALT NOT MAKE A FACEBOOK PROFILE FOR YOUR PET, baby and/or imaginary friend.