Let’s just imagine for a moment if Justine Bieber, an eighteen-year-old pop star, had her neck grabbed by Jeffrey McCarthy, a forty-year-old man, who proceeded to forcibly kiss her along her neck and face and then grab her ass? And then it turned out that not only did Justine not consent to being molested on national television, but that Jeffrey described the act as “kind of molesting her” and “I couldn’t help it, she was so little.”
Is the answer “absolutely nothing”? Probably not! Jeffrey McCarthy is one hella creepy fucker. And guess what? So is Jenny McCarthy!
[Video description: Jenny McCarthy grabs Justin Bieber’s neck, kisses him along his neck and face, and then grabs his ass. Justin Bieber says jokingly when he gets up at the mike “wow. I feel violated right now. Wow” and chuckles. And then some stuff happens with Bieber winning an award or something? I dunno, I try not to pay attention to his career.]
Dot. Dot. Dot.
We find out from interviews afterwards the following fascinating facts:
- The kiss was completely spontaneous, which meant that she fucking grabbed someone on national television without getting their consent ahead of time and without any way for them to revoke consent in the moment, in WHAT UNIVERSE is that okay?
- McCarthy explains the rationale behind her actions as “couldn’t help it, he was just so delicious, so little, and just, ahhhk, I wanted to tear his head off and eat it.”
- McCarthy describes her actions as “cougar rape.”
- McCarthy sees nothing wrong or creepy with any of this.
Dot. Dot. Dot.
Boys have a right to bodily autonomy! You do not get to touch people without their consent, no matter how cute they are! Boys do not just sit in a state of forever-readiness for sex because lol if you don’t want to have your ass grabbed by someone more than twice your age without the ability to say “no, stop”, you’re probably a fag or something.
Photo–juliejordonscott/Flickr. Anti-rape and anti-violence signs at a protest.
I knew Jenny McCarthy was an ableist anti-vaxxer, but I didn’t realize she was also a rapist.
The “Cougar” meme is obnoxious.
It’s actually more insidious than people realise. The cougar is unusual in all the big cats. It’s the only one that can Purr. The idea that the domestic kitty has gone to big hunter is hidden behind a supposedly beguiling Purr.
Once again the rape of men is made into a stupid joke. “Get Him to the Greek” had a fictional example, where a woman anally penetrates the protagonist, you see her arm swing, a look of surprise on his face. Later he tells several others, but is completely ignored. Both in the movie and the above incident, the word “rape” is used to describe the situation, but no one cares. Generally it’s just an ironic joke. It’s rape, which is supposed to be threatening, but ironically not because the victim is a dude! Men pursue women for sex, but ironically… Read more »
…He had it comin’ walking around with his pants saggin like sum little bite-sized badboy! He knew he wanted the attention. Good boyz dont dress like that, If U aint sellin’ beefcake then take down the siiigns….(just kidding) …please don’t suspended me…
I find how directly you can compare this to http://feministing.com/2012/10/04/iconic-kissing-sailor-photo-depicts-sexual-assault-not-romance/ interesting. Even more interesting is that this is the only feminist site I’ve seen this discussed on, though I’m (unfortunately) not terribly surprised.
Wow that’s seriously not OK and the fact that Jenny McCarthy sees nothing wrong with anything she did makes me rage to no end. It also bothers me that if Justin had resisted, he probably would have suffered more criticism for defending himself than Jenny got for choke-kissing him.
I’m very surprised at how well Justin Bieber kept his composure during and after the assault ’cause there’s no way I would have. Even ignoring any sexual creepiness, if someone puts their hands around my NECK, I’m gonna flip the fuck out.
Is anyone surprised? No one cares about men. That’s just bidness.
This is just so disgusting. It’s just not right. It’s not right that she thought that it’s okay, and it’s not right that society pressured him to play it off as if he wasn’t bothered by it.
This is a really important topic, I think, for advancing conversations in how we want teens to view sexuality.
Despite her protestations, I’m yet to be convinced that McCarthy’s actions were motivated by some undeniable sexual desire (not that it would be a good excuse). I suspect that Mr Bieber was the unfortunate victim of a ratings ploy, and his sexuality was used as a tool to that ends.
Sexual assault ain’t funny, people :(. But you already know that
“garner sympathy” is an interesting choice of words, as it presupposes that the social norm would be to see JB as a victim. That victim status is not a factor for males in abuse – assault – rape scenarios. The normally widely spread about tropes would be: a) JB = Boy = Child – he should be grateful for having older woman sexually attracted to him and making the interests clear. Usual idea of all young males just can’t wait to be banged by some uber experienced femme fatale aka Mrs Robinson. b) JB = Man – he should be… Read more »
Glad I was not the only one nausiated by it. This is the mother of a son not all that much younger than Justin. I wonder if she considered what that might be like for her Evan in a few years.
I’d never even heard to McCarthy, but…she has a son the same age as the young man she molested in public? That just makes it even more disgusting, that she thought nothing of grabbing Justin “because he’s so cute.” I’m considered attractive by a lot of people. Most people recognize that “she’s cute” is not a good reason for anyone to grab me and shove a tongue down my throat out of the blue. Why the fuck don’t people realize that this is true for everybody? I don’t even like Justin Bieber, but I want to comfort him now and… Read more »
Thanks for speaking out about this Ozy. Something struck me as significant while reading this. There seems to be an emphasis on JB being a “boy” and that “boys” have a right to bodily autonomy. I have to ask: Do men not also have a right to bodily autonomy? I know JB is 18 and in many, many places he is old enough to be considered an adult, a man, yet he is referred to as a boy here. Was that written deliberately to garner sympathy for JB as a “boy” that he couldn’t rightfully expect as a “man”?
I think in this instance the usage of the word boy may have been a way to emphasize the vast age gap between the two (Bieber and McCarthy that is). Within consent culture, a large difference in age is often considered a hinderance to (or outright prevents) proper, genuine consent. Therefore it seems that this was a way to highlight McCarthy as an adult who really should have known better juxtaposed against a younger individual who may have not yet developed the proper tools to advocate fully on his own behalf. That being said– this being “whatabouttehmenz” after all– I… Read more »
It’s pretty much a natural result of the gatekeeper model of sexuality. Giving someone something without asking if they want it isn’t the same as taking something without asking. I’m assuming that no one here is surprised at the gatekeeper model being harmful?
I’m assuming that no one here is surprised at the gatekeeper model being harmful? Nope not at all surprised – but creating gate keepers is the American way – You are responsible or yourself and your pursuit of Liberty, Happiness etc. Not being responsible for protecting yourself from all comers goes hand in hand with bearing arms – so for some blaming the victim is seen as the American way, and the flip side is that taking that responsibility away from the victim is Un-American. The social psychology angles are a lot more subtle and pointed than so many grasp.… Read more »
Thanks for writing this Ozy. I feel so relieved when I see feminists saying these kinds of things aren’t okay.