From Sociological Images comes a report that is, apparently, not a joke: Australian IKEA opens a Manland to drop off men who don’t want to participate in shopping.
My reaction is something like this:
- What the fuck? Xbox and football sounds way more fun than furniture shopping. I WANT TO GO TO MANLAND. Can we institute this policy in every store my mom likes, except name it Ozyland and have a pile of crappy Lovecraftian fantasy novels instead of the Jurassic Park video game machine?
- Why the hell wouldn’t you just leave your dude at home if he’s not going to help pick out shit?
- Nice job erasing all the men who actually like furniture shopping.
- Maybe I can sue to have Manland opened to people who are not men? After all, it’s very discriminatory. Lots of people hate shopping! Including me! No, especially me! And sometimes IKEAs don’t have bookstores near them and my mom still wants to go inside them!
- Why doesn’t the man get input into furniture decisions? It’s his home too, you know.
- No, seriously, nice job equating men and toddlers. That’s not insulting at all.
- Maybe if they expand this to the United States and I wear my baggy shirt and don’t talk everyone will think I’m a dude and let me into Manland so I don’t have to go furniture shopping.
- Holy heteronormativity!
- They give the women a buzzer so they remember to pick up their husbands and boyfriends after thirty minutes. Because… men can’t be trusted to find their wives on their own?
- No, seriously, they took the buzzer idea from the children’s room in IKEA. They literally seem to think men are overgrown children.
- “Whinging dudes”? Listen, dude, lots of people hate furniture shopping, but furniture still has to be bought and you have to have some input too.
- Maybe I can pass as a gay man? Fuck, no, gay men like shopping. Goddammit I’m going to be forced to actually shop for shit.
- “Darling, I don’t know how to tell you this, but there’s a Chinese family in our bathroom.”
- “IK-EEEE-AAAA (IKEA!) Selling furniture for college kids and divorced men! Everyone has a home, but if you don’t have a home you can buy one there!”
- Why are things that would be horrifically offensive if directed at women somehow okay if you direct them at men? Equating women to children is not okay; equating men to children is also not okay. Gender egalitarianism fail!
- Maybe if I put a mustache on, scratch my imaginary balls and pretend I know what a “down” is in football…