I’m bisexual* and I exist.
Bisexual Visibility Day has always felt like a fuck-you to me. The people I am saying fuck-you to this year include include:
- J. Michael Bailey.
- Anyone who calls Freddy Mercury or David Bowie gay (bisexual! bisexual!) or Billie Joe Armstrong or Lady Gaga or Kurt Cobain or Jimmy Urine straight (bisexual! bisexual! bisexual! pansexual!).
- Anyone who calls a married male Republican politician caught having sex with men gay.
- Anyone on this page of TVTropes.
- Glee. Specifically, Glee season two, episode fourteen, Blame It On The Alcohol, line “bisexual’ is a term that gay guys in high school use when they want to hold hands with a girl and feel like a normal person for a change.”
- Anyone who says women are naturally more sexually fluid.
- Anyone who says “you’re in a relationship with a man/woman. Are you straight/gay now?”
- The phrase “gay, straight or lying.”
- The phrase “bisexual until graduation.”
- Katy Perry.
- My dad, who is under the impression that bisexuals are making it up for attention.
So, NSWATM commentariat. Who’s attracted to multiple genders? Who wants to say a hearty “fuck you”?
*Well, pansexual and/or Jack Harkness, actually, but who’s counting?
About ozyfrantz
@Feckless
But it looks eerily similar to Freud, Mr Penis Envy. To develop a penis-arousal system is ironic, to me.
As for the erasure of straight women [in certain circles], I do get that one, too, altrough it might be rude to talk about it right here… maybe open a new thread? But I have been told that all people are bi or in denial, that I am not adventurous enough, or just lagged back on exploration… not to mention that men’s magazines are full of images of women and women’s magazines are full of images of women, and the default, learned cultural way of looking at women is to do it is sexualizing them, so it might be easy to get convinced that maybe they are right, and I was supposed to be more fluid, or that me liking images of photoshopped perfection means that I must be wanting to also fuck them, deep down.
people should respect when others identify as bi, and they should also respect when others identify as hetero. And, in the end, it doesn’t even matter what clues they think they have seen; even someone with bi attractions have a right to wait for changing the public label on themselves until they feel confortable and safe enough to do so. People in progressive circles rarely question gay men that maybe they didn’t meet a woman attractive enough, but my straightness got looked down upon in an analogue way for many times.
disclaimer: these are still small problems compared to what bisexuals suffer; it’s just that I want to be in this particular subculture, so the fact that I could be accepsted as straight in a lot of others just isn’t that important for me emotionally, even if I do have the advantages they offer.
Anon: That’s on topic. Everyone Is Bi is the evil twin of No Bisexuals; either one erases the sexuality of bisexual people. “Everyone is like you, so your identity doesn’t really exist” isn’t that much of an improvement on “you don’t exist.”
“If that was true then the cis daughters of DES mothers wouldn’t show a higher incidence of lesbianism and gynephilia.”
Valerie, sorry I do not know what those acronyms are but unless we are talking about twins having a 100% chance of being the same sexual orientation then, no, people are not simply born a certain way, end of story. These studies have been done and although there is a genetic (and in utero environmental/hormonal factors) what happens before birth is not the whole story. And I’m just saying this because (as I said before) there’s this idea of a either being BORN a certain way or CHOOSING to be a certain way. This notion leaves no room for experience and nurture.
I’m still sticking with my ‘humans are poly-sexual by nature but much of the specifics depend on nurture’ theory.
“Well, pansexual and/or Jack Harkness, actually, but who’s counting?”
Yes, but he is a special case. I don’t think I’ve met anyone who *didn’t* find him attractive (after watching the show/s, that is), regardless of gender or sexual orientation. But maybe that just means I have an odd group of friends, idk.
I don’t think I’ve met anyone who *didn’t* find him attractive (after watching the show/s, that is), regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
He doesn’t do it for me, actually. On paper, he looks perfect, but in real life he somehow leaves me cold. Dunno why.
Urgh. End italics.
Interesting development on the gaybashing front – a gay bashing response to gaybashing – something for the commentariat to chew on:
http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2011/09/28/the-gangs-of-dc
Wow, the hits just keep on comin’
http://toysoldier.wordpress.com/2011/09/28/how-unsurprising/#respond
And look at the disgusting comments on the article itself. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what mainstream culture, not right-minded commenters on an island-of-sanity blog in the gendersphere, truly thinks of this matter:
http://www.tampabay.com/news/courts/criminal/article1192984.ece
Female sentencing discount and “pussy pass” for true. One commenter compares this to a thirty year sentence imposed on a man in Florida for theft of some jewelry, and points out the man is black and not pretty like this predator. The rest of the comment thread is a cesspool – misandrist rape apology all over it.
@Jim:
Sorry for being Thicky McThick here, but didn’t they say Ms Lefevre was a p(a)edomophile? Like, a convicted-style kiddy-fiddler?
Or is there more to it than the stupid blog is letting on?
A giant FUCK YOU to all the men who actively seek out sex with other men on a regular basis but maintain that they are “straight.” I understand lying to the guys to save face. I understand lying to family members if they’re religious fanatics. It sucks, and I wish you didn’t feel that you had to, but I understand why you do it. What I don’t understand is lying to a guy you’ve already fucked. I’m using your washcloth to clean your spunk out of my beard and you tell me you don’t fuck guys? What the hell, dude?
And a secondary, but still hefty, fuck you to all the gay men who fetishize fucking “straight” men, to the point that they’ll reject a bisexual man in an open relationship as creepy and weird while happily hopping into bed with a “straight” man who is cheating on his unsuspecting girlfriend. I would get a lot more action if I lied to my partners. Get thee behind me, “str8 guys ONLY” personals (as if an actual straight man would be cruising m4m at two in the morning).
Sexual orientation isn’t a special club. I don’t even think of it as an identity, not really. It’s a fucking adjective. I described myself as straight when I was in my teens. I’d never met a guy who turned me on. Then I got to college (yeah, yeah, I know, I know) and found myself with a boyfriend. Well, I said to myself, I guess I’m actually bisexual. Whatever.