Hi. I’m Julie Gillis and I’m a feminist.
It’s like an admission, isn’t it? A vulnerability of sorts to state who you are and why you are here? Or perhaps it’s just how we all have learned to compartmentalize ourselves, here in America, in western culture, a method that has caused GMP founder to query himself, about how this affects manhood.
What on earth do labels mean, I wonder this often. In absolutely no particular order, I’m a feminist, a humanist, a secular spiritual pantheistic agnostic, a community builder, a mother, a daughter, a sex positive activist for LGBTQ rights and for the radical expression of pleasure and relationships, a locavore advocate for CSAs and food and (wow what a coinkydink) the radical expression of pleasure and health,a wife, a damn good worker, a lover of bourbon and red wine, a walker, a dancer, a middled aged woman, a white person (probably over educated), privileged (oh yes, honey, I DID use that word), a fan of documentaries, a producer of theater, a performer of comedy and a writer.
And a lot more.
I like men. I’m married to one, and have two boykids. I’ve been writing about men and supporting The Good Men Project now for about nine months or so. As way of introduction again (and caveating all my future posts), I thought I’d list out the things I believe in and am for just to get that stuff out of the way.
I believe men are human beings. I believe men are influenced as negatively by sexism and teh patriarchy as are women. It’s a big-ass system y’all, and it’s like the water we swim in so how could we all not be influenced. I think men have been and will continue (until such time as we heal the world), sexually assaulted and raped and that it’s bullshit and horrible and should be addressed, hard core, by our government and society. I believe men should have more reproductive (birth control) options. I think that this whole disposability issue is related less to gender and much more to power and control of the populus, that boys need different things than girls do in school BUT it can’t be essentialized into a binary cause there are boys that do better in more “female” focused spaces and vice versa, but that the more attention we can give our boys to address their actual needs, the better.
I think men deserve love and compassion and connection and that often that does indeed look entirely different than how women need it (and expect it) and I do actually see flaws in any “ism” that has wound up making money and careers and political policy out of activism. So yeah, that would include feminism.
I’m gonna be writing with Ozy because I like hir style. And because yeah, I’m a feminist and I figure we can figure this polemic thing out in a way that actually helps rather than hurts and I want to be a part of that.
Any q’s? I’ll be happy to answer.
An introductory post should be responded to with greetings, not spite. So welcome, Julie! 😀
I hate to say it Julie, but I fail to see your point, your a feminist and you care about men, are we supposed to congratulate you for that?
I can’t say that your congratulations were actually a goal of mine, Ginny.
As a feminist myself, Julie, I agree with much of what you believe in, though I balk at two of your remarks. I think disposability is very much related to gender. I also don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with an “ism” that produces money, careers, and political policy. To paraphrase a well-known economist (John Kenneth Galbraith, I think), people who think they’re apolitical are generally prisoners of the political ideology of some ideologue, now long dead. But to return to the disposability issue, I wonder what your thoughts are about the relative firestorm of controversy surrounding remarks made by… Read more »
I read over your post and the link to the interview. I’m not a TV producer so I can comment on it. I had no idea that was a real show, Snapped. Hoo-boy, what a cynical world that we have a show about people snapping and killing their spouses and it’s all revenge fantasies for ladytv or something? I suspect that there are some inherent biases in place when it comes to what you are talking about. Men can’t make jokes about a hilarious show that involves men killing their wives and covering them in concrete, but women can do… Read more »
So how goes it Julie? The name’s Danny, I’ve been around about a year or so (just started contributing in the last 3-4months). As for what I believe I’m not sure I could sit down and lay it all out on paper like you just did. Labels are an interesting thing. Sometimes they can be a nice and neat way to know where someone stands on an issue but at the same time they can lead to quite a bit of commotion (which is why for the longest time I’ve only been considering aligning myself with the MRA rather than… Read more »
Hi Julie. Welcome! Maybe it’s cowardly of me, but I generally try to avoid introducing myself under any particular label, for two reasons: 1). A given label can be appropriated by anyone, and sometimes I find myself disagreeing 2). I think my stance on certain issues is more important than a label For example: I dislike hypocrisy, double-standards, and inegalitarianism, and actively confront these practices whenever I encounter them. I don’t like placing arbitrary limits on human behavior — rules should have reasons. Additionally, I dislike putting women OR men on a pedestal — although it’s sometimes difficult for me… Read more »
You dislike hypocrisy? Whoah! Now there’s a bold statement that tells us a lot about your position on the issues!
We should go back to basics again. The standard argument is that… why care about men when women are the more oppressed group and have more pressing problems like sexual assault, slut-shaming, victim-blaming, wage ceilings, unfair representation in the media, legal issues over pregnancy choice and the general disprivilege of women? How do we deal with feminists who bracket men for later? Why do men deserve compassion when they’re the ones usually abusing women and being assholic misogynists than women being misandrist, something that’s usually denied?
I’m confused, Flatbanana. Are you a fan of the standard argument? =)
Please note: as I tried to indicate with the smiley, this is a QUESTION, not an ACCUSATION. Need Moar Data. =P
Thanks for the openness Gaius. I’m generally not a fan of the argument, but I can at least relate to the argument in a needs-olympics kind of way. but I wanted to pose it to Julie as a long time lurker of NSWATM to further delve into her thinking of the drama that happens within gender activism. I understand the term feminist as a “someone who supports and works towards gender equality” but usually that’s opeationalised as “women need to be pushed up”.
Like Gaius I wonder are you saying that you are a fan of that standard argument? How do we deal with feminists who bracket men for later? I’ve been wondering that one for long and the best answer I’ve been able to come up with is simply not deal with them. Why do men deserve compassion when they’re the ones usually abusing women and being assholic misogynists than women being misandrist, something that’s usually denied? I think the problem with this question is that, like that standard argument you mention above its an attempt at diversion. The fact that there… Read more »
I think I’ve mentioned it on another comment thread before, but from a more philosophical perspective, I maintain that the belief that “patriarchy hurts men too” is enough to justify the existence of a space to discuss men’s issues even if said issues are not one’s specific focus. The hard part is actually using the above notion in an argument. I’ve found it easiest to debate basically using “yes and.” The notion that some women face terrifying things that deserve to be discussed is true AND so is the notion that some men face terrifying things that are worthy of… Read more »
So this isn’t a perfect analogy, but let’s take medical research. All cancer research is important. But all cancer research is subdivided by speciality, yes? Thyroid cancer is different than breast, is different than bone or blood. Treatments are different and money and support is needed for all. People tend to personalize issues. So if my mother had breast cancer and my dad didn’t have any cancer at all, I might be prone to support breast cancer research. So if I support breast cancer research, but not prostate, does that mean I don’t support ending cancer? Like I said, it’s… Read more »
Welcome aboard!