Slim Jim Combats Horrific Evils of “Spice Loss”

Yeaaaaaaaaah.

Words used in this campaign:

  • Man gland
  • Brofiles in courage
  • Brolectrolytes
  • Menergy

Things that make you less of a man:

  • Shakespeare
  • Swan boat rides
  • Yoga
  • Salad
  • Ironing
  • Caring about and prioritizing your family
  • Caring about women in any way whatsoever

This is Ozy’s unhappy face. Why do you people hate SALAD so much?

About ozyfrantz

Ozy Frantz is a student at a well-respected Hippie College in the United States. Zie bases most of zir life decisions on Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, and identifies more closely with Pinkie Pie than is probably necessary. Ozy can be contacted at ozyfrantz@gmail.com or on Twitter as @ozyfrantz. Writing is presently Ozy's primary means of support, so to tip the blogger, click here.

Comments

  1. Myoo says:

    <_<
    >_>

    The spice must flow.

  2. Nick, mostly says:

    Ozy, there is so much love for salad. Don’t let the haters get you down. Just look at this:
    http://thehairpin.com/2011/01/women-laughing-alone-with-salad/
    And what about teh menz? They like fruit salad:
    http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/men-laughing-alone-with-fruit-salad

  3. Mori says:

    Does anyone else have a feeling this kind of crap might be part of the reason boys are currently not doing as well in school as girls? Shakespeare, in Britain anyway, is probably the first introduction school kids have to great literature. If literature, is unmanly, and as we can also see in the list, caring about things (even things that are really, really worth caring about, like people) is also unmanly, then how are boys supposed to care enough about academic subjects to succeed in them?

  4. Copyleft says:

    I hate salad because it’s taking up valuable space on my plate that could be occupied by steak.

  5. Monkey says:

    Ozy, you’re awesome, but everybody knows that you don’t win friends with salad.

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