Ross Steinborn reflects on the difficulties of getting men to care about sexual assault.
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It’s September and by now hundreds of thousands of college freshmen have moved into their dorm rooms, attended their first parties, begun their first courses, and completed (or skipped) some of their first homework assignments. Also, by now, some have, sadly, survived a sexual assault from one of their classmates. In fact, twenty five percent (or 1 in 4) of freshman women and ten percent of college men will survive the trauma and violence of a sexual assaults by the time they turn their tassels to the left side of their caps.* When I first heard these numbers I was stunned. It’s an ignominy that a quarter of freshman women and a tenth of college men will be sexually assaulted on American college campuses before they graduate.
One of the major problems is that sexual assault in our culture is still widely viewed, as Jackson Katz put it, as “a women’s issue that some good men help out with.” I mean, it’s women who get sexually assaulted, right? So, as the rationality goes it’s women who need to deal with sexual assault. But by and large — 90-98 percent depending on which study you go with** — of sexual assaults, against both women and men, are perpetrated by men. Thus the common logic of sexual assault is that the victim is responsible for ending the crime, as if robbery must be stopped by the robbed. Certainly potential victims of any crime can take steps to reduce risk, they cannot end the crime, and its illogical and toxic to pin the responsibility of ending crime on the victim. So while women can reduce their risk of being sexually assaulted through different safety tactics—using a buddy system when they go out, taking self-defense classes, and so on and so forth—they cannot eradicate the risk. In fact, the only way to stop sexual assault entirely is for perpetrators (who are overwhelmingly men) to not commit sexual assault—thus as logic goes, sexual assault is more of a men’s issue than a women’s issue.
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Many colleges and universities have begun to realize this and have taken steps to address the issue with men. Last year I interned at Harvard Universities’ Office of Sexual Assault Prevention and Response and they asked me to come back and help facilitate freshmen male sexual assault workshops this year. Coming off as if your not calling all men rapists while at the same time helping these young men realize that many of their attitudes towards sex and women contribute to a sexual culture that allows from 25% of women to be sexually assaulted in four years is the toughest challenge when talking to young college men about sexual assault.
For instance, you won’t get a good response by going into the room and saying, “Hey all you potential rapists.” Furthermore, such an attitude comes from a outmoded and misguided stereotype around “date rape,” which suggests that many cases of college sexual assault are “grey areas” where both parties were intoxicated and one party regretted the sex the next morning but in the end there was really no malice. Research by Psychologist David Lisak, reveals that the vast majority of college men will never commit a sexual assault nor be accused of such. Rather, most sexual assaults, committed on college campuses, are perpetrated by a small fraction of men who serially perpetrate.
Lisak conducted thousands of interviews with college men, which revealed that this small portion of sexual predators literally pre-plan their assaults against women. He first asked, “have you ever raped someone?” As you might expect no men admitted to rape or saw themselves as rapists. However, when he asked “have you ever had sex without your partners consent?” he made a breakthrough; many, if not most, of sexual assaults on campus are perpetrated by about 7% of men, who serially commit. He found that this small handfull of men target women, usually underclassmen (like freshman and sophomores) who don’t know the area nor the community very well. The perpetrator often invites their “target” to a party where they use alcohol as a tool to inhibit that person (90% of college sexual assaults do involve alcohol) while they themselves stay quite sober. This inhibition helps the perpetrator separate their “target” from their friends and eventually from the public party, where they execute their plan to take advantage of the now intoxicated young woman. Here is a re-enactment of one of Lisak’s interviews.
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The challenge, therefore, when speaking about sexual assault with young men is that while most of them do not fall into this category they are not entirely off the hook, for many of them contribute to male sexual cultural where the actions of these predators are easily hid. That is a culture where men view sex as a trophy, a prize to be won, and women as objects and defenders of that prize. Perhaps this is why the primary metaphor for speaking about sex is baseball—acquiring sex is viewed as a game, a sport, where one “team” (men) are on the offensive against the other team (women) who are “defending” the “prize.” While many men, the vast majority in fact, will not cheat, as it were, at the game, their attitude(s) towards sex and women, nonetheless, allow some men to get away with cheating. Therefore, all men are responsible for changing our sexual cultures, for refusing to laugh at rape jokes, or using violent language to talk about sex, by rejecting to objectify any woman, no matter how she is dressed, and taking seriously gender violence and sexual assault. Only when men begin to change their attitudes towards sex and gender violence will we change what many call “rape culture” (to be sure any culture in which a quarter of college women are sexually assaulted in four years is certainly a rape culture) and expose the actions of the few men who do commit sexual assault.
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* Christopher P. Krebs, Ph.D, Et al. “The Campus Sexual Assault (CSA) Study”, 2007 (pg. viii)
** The Bureau of Justice Statistics (page 10) states that in 1995, 99% of forcible rape was committed by men. Though scholars are beginning to look at female perpetrators and male-on-male and female-on-female sexual assault, it is clear that the vast majority of rape and sexual assualt is commited by men, no matter se In sexual assault prevention and response communities, like the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center, these stats the accepted standard.
Photo via Flicker/Lisa Norwood
i do think all of this is necesarry, but then all of this gets ruined by radicals who go out screaming “teach your sons not to rape”, which further reinforces those poor stereotypes and immediately turn of men
it clearly shows that that when we talk about rape, everybody should try and be as calm as possible
Mr. Steinborn, Although I would agree that most perpetrators are (probably) men, I wouldn’t agree that the overwhelming number are men unless you feel 55% or so is an overwhelming majority. When you include prison rape in adult and juvenile prisons, it is not out of the question that women could be the majority of the perpetrators. Here are the links. The 2010 CDC Intimate Partner and Sexual Victimization Survey estimated that about 1,270,000 women were raped by an intimate partner in 2010. That same year they estimate that 1,267,000 men were forced to penetrate another. Men were at least… Read more »
And out of curiosity Ross- in what % of these unfortunate encounters did intoxicants play a role?
“…while most of them do not fall into this category they are not entirely off the hook, for many of them contribute to {a} culture where the actions of these predators are easily hid. That is a culture where…” I could be wrong on this, but I’m always little bit uneasy when people frame the conversation that way. I think most people would agree it would not be appropriate to collectivize on racial or ethnic lines. For instance if one was making that statement using, say, “Islamic” or “African-American” in the brackets; but somehow it is ok to use “male… Read more »
I wonder if the Stanford Prison Experiment applies here. In the experiment, participants were assigned the role of either guard or prisoner. Over the course of 6 days the students began to fulfil these roles.
We we constantly talk of males and only males as the perpetrators of rape, are we creating an expectation that some choose to fill? Do women come to expect men to be sexually aggressive? Do they see men who are not sexually aggressive as less masculine?
I appreciate the criticisms I have received and while I don’t agree with all of them I do think that the term handful does come off as dismissive or at least unthoughtful, therefore I’ve changed the term in the article. It was not my intention to downplay of dismiss male survivors of sexual assault and I apologize if the article came off that way. Certainly male sexual assault survivors deserve much more attention and resources on college campuses and in culture at large than they now receive. While I’m certain that women-on-male rape happens before, during and after college (and… Read more »
First off, thank you for changing the term handful. Secondly; researchers have been looking at female perpetration and male victimization since the 1980’s, but that research have not been disseminated as well as the corresponding research on male perpetrators and female victims. Here is one from the 1990’s: Adolescent sexual aggression: risk and protective factors. (Borowsky, Hogan, & Ireland, 1997): http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9382908 based on a survey of 71.594 students they found: A history of sexual violence perpetration was reported by 4.8% of male and 1.3% of female adolescents. That is; 21% of perpetrators are women. Sexual violence perpetration was defined as… Read more »
So you are saying “don’t confuse me with the facts, I’ve made up my mind.”
You seem to be clutching rather tightly to your sexist gender binary. A better understanding and therefor solution cannot be reached if you are unwilling to accept new evidence. The male shaming approach has been tried for 30 something years and yet, you believe 25% of college women are still raped in their 4 years at college. Your statistics are flat wrong, but if you do believe them, should that not indicate your tactic for dealing with the problem is not working?
That assumes the purpose is to stop the problem and not have a political cudgel with which to beat their opponents with.
touche! I think you are on to something there!
Mr. Steinborn:
You’ve received a bit of well-deserved flack for describing the10% of male students who have been victimized for a handful. I hope you take this as an opportunity to carefully reflect on exactly why you ended up using the term “a handful” and whether such a dismissal of almost a third (28%)* of victims are by itself a contribution to rape culture.
* Given a population of 100 men and 100 women there are 25 female victims and 10 male victims which gives a total of 35 victims- 10 is 28.6% of 35.
I do think it’s important for people to teach men, especially young men to respect boundaries and consent, there are some harmful issues with some male’s version of sexuality. I think it’s equally important to teach this to women too, both genders need to learn to not rape, respect consent and boundaries. Now does reporting that 90-98% of rapists are male and perpetuating the myth that rape is 90% or higher perpetrated by males actually contribute to rape culture by minimizing the reality of female rapists? Have you ensured that every study you refer to does NOT ignore men forced… Read more »
(Side-note which I ask here not to derail but because someone passing by may know where to find them) Know what I’ve never seen? Women telling other women to stop raping men in articles like these. DO they exist or is it that men care more about stopping rape than women? Is it that women largely don’t know that a huge number of rapes are female on male? (16% lifetime, ~40% for a 12 month period according to one major study – CDC NISVS 2010) Would love to see an article like that, send me links people. I have seen… Read more »
I have often wondered the same thing Archy.
You state that “a huge number of rapes are female on male” but the report you reference states that 93% of male victims of rape report that their perpetrators were male, (CDC NISVS 2010 page 24), which means that only 7% of rapes were female on male. To do the math, its 110,670 men reported being raped by a women in their life time and 1,460,000 men being raped by another man in their life time. telling men not to rape seems a better marketing strategy, even when men are the victims.
“In fact, twenty five percent (or 1 in 4) of freshman women and ten percent of college men will survive the trauma and violence of a sexual assaults by the time they turn their tassels to the left side of their caps.* When I first heard these numbers I was stunned. It’s an ignominy that a quarter of freshman women and a handful of college men” Never realized that 1 in 10 was a handful. I always that that was a significant number when talking about sexual assaults. Maybe the key to getting men to care is not dismissing their… Read more »
I’m not seeing why sexual-assault education needs to be any different for young men than it is for young women: “Here’s what could happen to you, here’s how to protect yourself from it, don’t let this happen and if it does, here’s where to get help.”
Once we recognize that young men are potential [i]victims [/i] of assault just as young women are, rather than the presumed perpetrators, the problem becomes much simpler. And much less misandrist too.
Would it have been so hard for you to say “tenth”? “Handful” is rather dismissive.
This gmp article expands on our cultural blind spot for male victims.
https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/rape-is-not-a-joke-unless-a-man-is-the-victim/
I saw that article and I’m very glad that scholars and many others are beginning to look at male victimization. The studies I’m familiar with suggests that 1 in 6 men will be sexually assaulted before they are 16 and I’ve heard some numbers that suggest that 10% of men will be sexually assaulted in their 4 years of college. What I hope this current research focus doesn’t overshadow is that the vast majority of surveyors of sexual assault are women and that no matter the gender of the survivor, the perpetrator is overwhelming male. But on another level your… Read more »
Why is this always cast as a race for who the biggest victim is and who the biggest perpetrator is. The fact is the vast majority of people are not rapists or abusers. Male victims have always had difficulty coming forward, more so than even female victims. Female abusers are seldom recognized as abusers, often their crimes are minimized and cast as “affairs” rather than rape. As I said above, the definition of rape is tailored to exclude female perpetrators and male victims. The fact is males and females are people. People are hurt by other people. Why is there… Read more »
“The studies I’m familiar with suggests that 1 in 6 men will be sexually assaulted before they are 16 and I’ve heard some numbers that suggest that 10% of men will be sexually assaulted in their 4 years of college. What I hope this current research focus doesn’t overshadow is that the vast majority of surveyors of sexual assault are women”
How can these two sentences both be true? You do realize that this is doubletalk, right?
@ Ross Steinborn “no matter the gender of the survivor, the perpetrator is overwhelming male.” You obviously hadn’t seen the CDC stats that showed that approximately 40% of rapists are women when forced to penetrate another, which is female on male rape whether you choose to recognize it as such or not, is included. You must have also missed the DOJ stats that showed that 50% of the rapists in adult prisons are women or that 95% of the adult rapists of incarcerated juveniles are women. Of those three stats there is only one which I would consider an overwhelming… Read more »
Since when is 10% a handful though? Please choose better terminology. You don’t have to even mention anything apart from “yadda yadda 25% and 10%, so a lot of men and women have been raped in college” The very instant I saw handful, it pissed me off. Because a handful to me is an extremely small amount, like a handful of abuses would be people being locked up and tortured whilst filmed on a reality tv show in some scenario that is extremely rare so they make up 0.005% of cases, but 10% of college students? A quick google suggests… Read more »
I’d love to see where you arrived at the statistic that 25% of females will be raped in their 4 year collage career. This invented statistic has been torn to shreds over the years and casts a shadow of suspicion over the rest of your article. http://www.city-journal.org/2008/18_1_campus_rape.html The definition of rape has been tailored to create a situation where women are overwhelmingly the victims. By including penetration and excluding envelopment in the definition of rape one arrives at a pre-determined result. Those who’s sexual organs are designed for penetration are more likely to penetrate and therefore fall into the definition… Read more »
I’m a little confused by your approach. While you state that “For instance, you won’t get a good response by going into the room and saying, “Hey all you potential rapists.””… but the whole narrative of your post implies it has to be a man’s problem. Like saying that all men who go outside are robbers because most robbers are men outside. This is the problem I see with it. If only 7% of men commit sexual assulat and only 2% commit most of them… that means that 93% of guys actually get it. They get rape is wrong. They… Read more »
Your approach is certainly the approach taken, at least with freshman at Harvard — the experience I have. We certainly say “we know that none of you will ever commit sexual assault” and I thought that message was clear in my article. The problem is that the way men (even those 95% of men who get it) are taught to think about sex and women in toxic ways, which makes going out and finding those 5 to 7 percent of assholes really hard. David Lisak, the psychologists whose research I’m in debuted to for this article, has developed a model… Read more »
Ah that’s good to hear. I’m afraid I’d pick that up from your article.
Though I’m curious. It’s been well over 10 years since I’ve been in college and also not American.
“have never thought about gender and gender violence but they also aren’t those assholes we need to stop.”
Is the purpose then purely education of this “larger circle”? To get these men to think about gender and genderised violence?
Agree so much with what’s being said here. I’m writing at the moment about the negative effects of a heavy-handed fear-mongering “never assume otherwise you could mistakenly rape someone” type of supposed sex-prevention that I got given in reality only teaches us – a) that rapists are people that have made a mistake – so therefore effectively it’s excusing them and probably leads to less harsh penalties for rape because any male legislator probably thinks “there but for the grace of God go I” rather than “let’s get that asshole!” b) that we are all potential rapists and should be… Read more »