Soul Is Hard to Find

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About Rick Belden

Rick Belden is the author of Iron Man Family Outing: Poems about Transition into a More Conscious Manhood. His book is widely used in the United States and internationally by therapists, counselors, and men’s groups as an aid in the exploration of masculine psychology and men’s issues, and as a resource for men who grew up in dysfunctional, abusive, or neglectful family systems. His second book, Scapegoat’s Cross: Poems about Finding and Reclaiming the Lost Man Within, is currently awaiting publication. He lives in Austin, Texas.

More information, including excerpts from Rick’s books, is available at his website. His first book, "Iron Man Family Outing," is available here. You can follow Rick Belden on Facebook.


  1. I was taught in early childhood, (parents) that “CAN”T”, really means “WON”T”, no?

  2. thank you…. brought tears to my eyes. You’ve put into words so much of what I’ve been unable to say about my own experience…

  3. Eric esko jalonen says:

    Wow Rick. We share a very similar path and you have been able to so vividly and beautifully put it into words..except for the Career aspect; i havnt worked much lately.. Very well said and Honest.
    I am going to look for your books.
    Thank you my Friend.
    Eric ;)

  4. Hey Rick,
    I couldn’t agree more with you. I know its been proven scientifically (okay, that may not always say much) but that there is a “spiritual” center within our brain. Now, when I use spiritual, I’m not talking religion, but more in getting to know one’s self (just like what you are saying here). I don’t think i could classify my spiritual practice in any way or form that resembles much of anything. I try to stay in touch with nature, the planet and everything I sense and experience. Yet, I know that to truly find and connect with my spiritual side, I need to go deep within and just get to know myself more and more each day. I do believe in angels because of my own deep first hand experiences with this, but again they are not religious beings to me.

    I see many new age systems out there dishing main stream churches and religion only to repeat the stuff they are so trying to avoid. I have no use for that, whether it is a church or spiritualist camp. I’m around people who really get into some of these rituals and in my mind, I just see someone following a different form of religion while they despise everything about religion.

    In the end, I fully agree with you – it is about getting to know our self – and once we find our self, we’re ready to move on to the next step of getting to know a deeper side of our self. It doesn’t end – it is ongoing. I still remember when one lady exclaimed to me – you’re not doing meditation right. I’m like, my way works for me. It may not be traditional, but I honestly don’t care if I follow the rules.

    Great post Rick… I’m glad to see I’m not the only one that thinks this way.

    • Thanks for reading and sharing your experience, Don. I really enjoyed seeing your point of view on all of this. One of my biggest complaints with many New Agers is their relentless, overbearing, oppressive need to keep everything “positive”. I ran into one the other day and, as always, she had to counter every little thing I said that wasn’t 100% upbeat with some sort of positive spin. I find that maddening. Darkness and light are both part of life, and there is no wholeness, no true clarity, without a proper balance and a proper acknowledgment of both.

      I chuckled when I read your little anecdote about being told you weren’t “doing meditation right.” Back when I was meditating daily, I used to do my morning meditation in bed. As a result, I frequently broke the “don’t fall asleep” rule I’d seen articulated in numerous meditation guides. My personal conclusion was that if I needed the rest that much, I should let myself have it, regardless of what the “rule” was. I was, after all, meditating in an attempt to relax, among other reasons, and those were some of the most deeply relaxing, restful experiences I’ve ever had.

      Dogma, whatever its flavor, may feel safe and secure but it is not a path to autonomy, individuation, and truth.

      • Thanks for the chuckle about the positive spin because I get that too, especially from a couple of friends. There are times, when not everything is positive. Of course they know that, but sometimes it is easier to just avoid the pain of one’s life (by “acting” positive) than to go in and clean the closets out. I see it almost as avoidance – maybe not in everyone, but in the ones you and I are describing. I prefer balance and that includes both ends of the emotional spectrum in life. You made my day today! Thank you for sharing with me what you have. Someone else gets it!

  5. Mason J Stewart says:

    Oneness with GOD! Man’s knowledge leaves too many question requiring evidence. The invisible can not be proven. All creation is self reproductive. GOD in GOD’s infinite wisdom left clues about GOD’s existence. Roman Catholic Church witnessed some spiritual powers in motion and shared with us; yet, hide the truth that counts the most. Gnostic Library.

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