No One Wants to See a Man Naked

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About Christian Coleman

Christian Coleman studies poetry at the University of New Orleans. He makes life decisions by asking himself 'What Would Batman Do?'

Comments

  1. I like to see man naked.
    Jokes apart, i completely understand your position about this big catfight.

    The thing that really strikes me is that her nudity is totally awkward.
    And her unnecessary trolling made her even more stupid.

  2. Les Kertay, Ph.D. says:

    What rings true for me in your piece really has almost nothing to do with Miley Cyrus, but rather with your observation about the feeling that no one wants to see a man naked, and the “sneaking, nagging feeling” that even the one who loves us is pretending. I wish you’d expand on that, or maybe I will if I can borrow your idea. I think you’ve hit on a really important piece of a man’s experience of himself; it does have something to do with how we think about the Miley Cyrus experience, but it has maybe even more to do with how we think about ourselves. That thing you said about women commenting that you’re attractive? Yep, that too. Great piece, triggered a lot of thought on my part; thank you!

    • Hi Les

      You write:
      ✺”rather with your observation about the feeling that no one wants to see a man naked, and the “sneaking, nagging feeling” that even the one who loves us is pretending. I wish you’d expand on that, or maybe I will if I can borrow your idea. I think you’ve hit on a really important piece of a man’s experience of himself”✺

      Why not ask why American men feel this way?
      Why do American parents rais their sons , with a result the the little guy feels ugly?

      Travel abroad,and meet men that obviously was brought up with love,and they feel like Gods gift to women. Many cultures have men that walk through life with dignity ,fully aware how beautiful the mans body is. Visit countries South in Europe like Italy, go to , the Middle East,
      Even Scandinavian men seems to be at peace in their body and have sport as one of their favorite hobby.

      This phenomena that” the mans body is not beautiful” is an American phenomena.
      You are doing something wrong in this country if most men feel like that.
      Child abuse ?

      • Les Kertay, Ph.D. says:

        Iben, you raise an interesting point about cultural differences, and I would agree that there’s truth in what you say. I wonder, though, if it isn’t a little too simple. Anything that allows us to dismiss the experience, including labeling it as “American,” does a disservice. Not all American men have this experience, I venture (though I bet most do even if they wouldn’t talk about it), and not all non-American men are immune. I was raised in an immigrant family, and have talked with men from many cultures. While the perspectives differ, I think it’s more complicated than simply indicting the American culture or way of raising children. And for sure, child abuse isn’t limited to the US. All that said, I do think it’s easy to make stereotypes and prematurely box things up, so raising the question of cultural differences is certainly worth exploring as part of the discussion.

      • believe me Iben, its not only in America. I’m asian and “eww no one want to see naked dude” is everywhere, from other men, my mother, my sisters, my female friends. Everywhere.

  3. A pretty silly point really in the scheme of things – Miley probably does enjoy it & if she does, then alls good for her, no need for all the ‘conversations’ that keep happening. However at 20 the feedback, wanted or not, is most certainly not new. From what I remember & from talking with others,she will have been having that for about 7-8 years now.

  4. Hi Christian
    This story about Miley does not interest me much and I did not see the show,but this debate is interesting .

    You write:
    ✺” Maybe this whole idea of being attractive and desired is new for her and she doesn’t know how
    to handle it.”✺
    As a woman I can share with you that to be desired and aware that men ( and women) look at you is NOT something that suddenly happens to a girl what she is 20 years old. Come on. Most of us are ogled from the age 10.
    To be desired is not NEW to a 20 years old women,unless she has undergone a unusual transformation from ugly to beautiful. Did that happen to Miley?
    Was she a late bloomer?

    O’Connor has her own experience with serious emotional disorders. Here she is the specialist . And maybe she also is the specialist when she links the problems she has with the job she choose. To a female artist in the music industry.

    And what if O’Connor see symptoms of something going wrong? It takes one to know one,we say where I live. She is not the only one that writes that Miley may be heading for an breakdown.
    OK, she may be wrong.
    Maybe Miley is healthy. But this is a dangerous industry.
    And remember how many singers and actors that died young, unable to cope with their emotional disorders or addiction.

    ✺”Real empowerment of yourself as a woman would be to in future refuse to exploit your body or your
    sexuality in order for men to make money from you,” says O’Connor. “✺
    Do you actually disagree with O’Connor here?

    And this can happen to men as well as women.

    Elvis,what did they do him? A man white women saw as sexy, while James Brown was desired by black women and white as well.
    James Brown survived. I do not know his story.

    Did the industry exploit this part of Elvis, the fact that he was sexy ,and not only his music?

    • Christian Coleman says:

      Hey. Thoughtful, articulate, constructive comment. Thanks for that.

      “Do you actually disagree with O’Connor here?” No, I don’t think I do. Then again, I don’t know what makes a woman feel empowered; I’ve never been a woman. I would imagine that empowerment is subjective. What makes one woman feel empowered may make another woman feel devalued. I don’t know.

      I do think that, as a man, I might feel empowered by thousands of women wanting to see me naked. That sentiment only applies to me. I wouldn’t dare speak for anyone else.

      • Hi Christian

        “✺, as a man, I might feel empowered by thousands of women wanting to see me
        naked.”✺

        Yes I can understand that feeling. It sounds perfectly normal.

      • WOW! What a wonderful conversation and great article, and participation.

        First, I absolutely agree that raising boys to feel ashamed of their bodies is child abuse, that is the most truthful way I have heard it described yet.

        Now, as far as Miley Cyrus she’s doing what a sexually empowered 20yr old would do and exploring her sexuality, her body, expressing herself. The song is also very good. Her mother happens to be with her and is her manager. She grew up in Hollywood, so Hollywood will capture her rebellion as it captured her childhood on camera. Nothing wrong with that at all. To say that she is a victim is quite ridiculous. To say she is sexual because men made her that way, is also deceptive.

        Also, the use of prostitute as a bad thing, is so archaic.

        I’m a sexually empowered woman and have worked in the sex industry since I was 18-Dom, Stripper, Escort. Why did I start? Stripping, because I love to dance and enjoyed being nude and I could get paid for it to? Yes, yes I will be a stripper. Escorting, I have a great libido and figured, why not? Dom, it’s just my nature. What is a sexually empowered woman, how do you define that? Sex does not scare me, nor does exploring, sharing my body.

        Now, there’s this really obnoxious mantra that the feminist movement if there were no ‘jons’ there would be no prostitutes-super lie. Women happen to be human beings and as such are sexual beings, I know, crazy right?! [sarcasm] This also negates women who are sexual with women, would love to hear how they explain that one.

        A woman is not sexual because she is a victim, women who are raped and molested that is not sex, that is abuse. Please stay conscious of the difference.

        A woman is sexual because all humans have sexual energy, what we choose to do with it is our individual choice. Those who are celibate may choose to channel their sexual energy into creative forces or self sex. Those who are sexually active do this as well, but not all choose to have physical sex, again choice of what we do with our sexual energy, no victimization.

        Yes, I do believe she wants to objectify herself and that is totally fine because, as you can see, she is having a blast!!

        ob·jec·ti·fy
        əbˈjektəˌfī/
        verb
        verb: objectify; 3rd person present: objectifies; past tense: objectified; past participle: objectified; gerund or present participle: objectifying
        1.
        express (something abstract) in a concrete form.
        “good poetry objectifies feeling”

        Defining the word takes away the stigma, does it not?

        Also, we use men as props in videos CONSTANTLY!!!! Elvis was mentioned and I think that is a perfect example. You see it in music videos all the time, but we don’t tell men, to be careful. Why is that? Women are still seen as less predatory, men are still seen as dangerous lurkers just waiting for women to get naked. Come on already, can we wake up from this double standard lie?? This is still blaming the entire male gender for what criminals have done to women. Let it be remembered that woman have and do the same to men, but it is dismissed, nor am I saying all women are criminals either. However, this unconscious thought process has poisoned our society long enough. It’s time for a reality check, criminals exist in all genders and should not be the blame of each gender.

        Moving away from criminal behavior and back to sexual behavior-remember, they are not the same, sex is not criminal and criminal behavior[rape, molestation] is not sex-

        Women are total pervs, yes we are, newsflash we get super horny too. And you may not have known or noticed, but every man has been undressed at least once in his lifetime by a woman on the train, bus or who walked by him. Society has so much shaming of women being sexual, i.e. being called slut, whores etc and this is avidly projected by women on a large scale as well, that many women are afraid to take their time drinking in the beauty of a man or saying, ‘wow, you look handsome/hot/tasty’. Though I guarantee they are thinking it. I personally don’t believe in shaming my lust and allow myself the time to look over a man and savor him as he walks by.

        Miley, she’s young, horny, empowered and powerful and she’s saying ‘f you, I’ll do what I want’ and good for her! She wants her body to be seen, she loves the eyes on her and the reactions, she is also-hello-a performer. We performers-I’m also a Burlesque Dancer-love to share our art and that includes our body as art.

        Back to the appreciation of the naked man. Viewing the beauty of a naked man does not always mean it’s about sex either. I love seeing the body of a naked man and enjoying the beauty. I don’t always have to be in a state of lust to enjoy this. We can enjoy nude—our natural state of being!–in a non-sexual way as well. I love all nude bodies, they are individual masterpieces, no two are the same, what a gorgeous artistic adventure. The curves, the scars, the muscle, the softness, each body has their own individual count of legs, or arms, or none, some bodies move freely other bodies do not, each is a perfect dance, all varieties, all stories, each body has a story and I love seeing the storyteller express themselves.

        It is a work of art to see a man nude and I’m saddened by the fact that men feel their bodies are so unwanted. This is a major epidemic. We need to realize how men are feeling and a few comments of ‘believe me, we want to see you naked’ are just not enough because it’s all encompassing with how we treat men in our society. Men are shamed, silenced and given heavy doses of misandry casually, every single day, in this world. Bombarded with misandric quotes, ‘jokes’ and shaming.

        So to all the women who joined in to compliment the men, I do hope you don’t spend your days laughing at penis ‘jokes’ or promoting in your circles that men are ‘insert hateful stereotype’ because then in reality you are saying you do not want to see men naked and men are picking up on it in our media, every day interactions with them and the male bashing comments they encounter at work. So, please stay conscious of this.

        To those who are called, feel free to join the movement: Cock Consciousness. This movement I started with the intention for men to be heard, safe, loved, nurtured and supported in this world. It’s not about men having to change, it’s about the world changing how we treat men. If you have any artwork that shows your love of men feel free to share! I am the creator/admin so I make sure to keep the space filled only with love and acknowledgment of men. There is also a private group that is uncensored where men and those who love them can feel free to share in a space that is supportive, appreciative and loving. You can find the link to the group on the FB page below:

        https://www.facebook.com/CockConsciousness

        Thank you for writing this article, this is such an important discussion. Beautiful day to you all!

        xoxo
        ~VL

  5. FlyingKal says:

    It may be that I am misinterpreting something here.
    But Isn’t Sinead O’Connor advising Ms. Cyrus “To not let the industry market and sell you like a prostitue”, which is quite a contrast from saying that she is acting like one?

    On a side note, I don’t know whether anyone can say with any kind of authority if european men are any more appreciated for their bodily splendor than their american counterparts.
    If anything, I would guess that american women on average would be more vocal about it.

  6. Hi Les

    I agree. It is more complicated.
    When I used the word child abuse my thought was like this:

    It is unhealthy and damaging if parents tell the small children that boys and men’s bodies are ugly, and penises are gross. I see that as a kind of child abuse,because if we do not love our own body ,then life becomes hard.

    Men’s bodies are not ugly. The small boys bodies are not ugly.
    Any parent that say things like that ,do harm.

    How can a parent think and feel their little child’s body is ugly?

    But it is more complicated.
    So many factors influences us ,all though life. I totally agree.

  7. Hershey's Kiss says:

    Hey now. Some women DO want to see men naked! I sympathise with men though. It seems you don’t get as much love or compliments as women. I have only begun to notice this lately. Miley is in entertainment. She is at the age where she is going to capitalize on her sexuality. I do believe she likes to be ogled and that also it’s part of her job. She has made it so. Do I agree with it? As a woman, yes and no. I understand it’s part of her career but I think it’s sad that she prefers to sell her sexuality versus her music (what is happening now). Nobody is talking about her music, her craft. It’s all about her antics, the sexualisation of Miley.

    Men, do not despair. Women do want to see you naked.

    • FlyingKal says:

      Hi Hershey’s Kiss,
      One thing I have noted over the years in my different relationships.
      If we were going to bed at night, with no intention of having sex, just do some cuddling, hugging and kissing under the blanket before going to bed, I would often look at the women undressing, just taking in and admiring the beauty and grace of her body. But the reverse situation, with the woman looking at me, is something that I have rarely if ever experienced myself.

      • Hershey's Kiss says:

        That is really sad. I hope that one day you meet someone who looks at you with complete eagerness and amazement when you take your skivvies off. :)

  8. John Anderson says:

    I’ve been in good shape before when I was younger and have had several women tell me I look good, have a nice body, etc. The last time was about 2 years ago if you don’t count my stalker who told me that I’m a very special person to her. Still I’m not sure how many of these women wanted to see me naked. Even some of the women who I’ve had sex with may not have wanted to see me naked if we weren’t going to have sex. Maybe it’s not that women don’t desire sex. Maybe it’s that they desire some form of intimacy with their sex.

  9. Of course people want to see men naked. http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/we-love-your-bod/

  10. I can’t speak for other women, and certainly not men, but I suspect your fear that you see “a body that is good for taking out the trash, killing cockroaches, reaching that thing on the top shelf, and moving couches. Mind you, these are all functions in which I take a decent amount of pride, but none of them are sexy” is a function of the commoditization of ‘sexy.’

    Commoditized ‘sexy’ is an easily marketed ideal, like ‘pink’ or ‘matte’, Instantly recognizable for its attributes (taut, muscled, young, etc.) and just as easily forgettable the minute it’s out of our site.

    ‘Real sexy’ is not simply a function of the visible, but who you are, how you move, what you do with your body. When I yearn for a lover’s body, it’s the memory of an immense tangle of attributes that adhere to the body of the lover. Not least of which is the personality that body houses.

    We have come to like simplicity because it’s easy to market. Commoditized sexy is easy to communicate to the masses, easy to package, easy to sell. The tragedy is that you, like many other people, have come to believe that’s the only kind of sexy that’s real.

  11. Argh!!! Please don’t post my previous comment. Damn auto-correct. Please moderate this one:

    I can’t speak for other women, and certainly not men, but I suspect your fear that you see “a body that is good for taking out the trash, killing cockroaches, reaching that thing on the top shelf, and moving couches. Mind you, these are all functions in which I take a decent amount of pride, but none of them are sexy” is a function of the commoditization of ‘sexy.’

    Commoditized ‘sexy’ is an easily marketed ideal, like ‘pink’ or ‘matte’, Instantly recognizable for its attributes (taut, muscled, young, etc.) and just as easily forgettable the minute it’s out of our sight.

    ‘Real sexy’ is not simply a function of the visible but who you are, how you move, what you do with your body. When I yearn for a lover’s body, it’s the memory of an immense tangle of attributes that adhere to the body of the lover. Not least of which is the personality that body houses.

    We have come to believe this form of simplistic sexy is sexy because it’s constantly pushed at us. It’s easy communicate to the masses, easy to package, easy to sell. The tragedy is that you, like many other people, have come to believe that’s the only kind of sexy that’s real.

  12. Nick Jurczak says:

    Hey Christian,

    Speaking as a fellow college student if you haven’t been to a Rocky Horror Picture Show performance, then you really should. There’s all sorts of people dressing as promiscuously as they want, both men and women, and it’s rather invigorating to see the walls come down and see people not be ashamed of their bodies.

    • Tom Brechlin says:

      Rocky Horror Picture Show!?!?! Just skimming through a variety of different responses to different articles and ran across this one. I’m happy to say that I am of the age where I saw the movie when it first came out. Through the decades, YES decades, my wife and I have attended midnight showings. It’s a riot! But bring your umbrella 

      And those of you who know me through GMP are more then likely surprised that I’m a follower. Yup, this old ass conservative is into the movie.

      My daughter and her fireman husband are also into it. She dresses up as Magenta and her husband is Riff Raff.

      • Nick Jurczak says:

        I am glad to see your response Tom. I just went to my very first performance ever because my girlfriend was part of the supporting cast about a week ago and I was very pleased with the show. As I understand it, Rocky Horror is a movie that has been in theaters since it came out and has always been playing somewhere.

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