Spoon Jackson contemplates his life without parole.
Today I ponder LWOP—life without parole—and the death penalty, how LWOP is the only sentence forever in limbo. People are battling to do away with the death penalty and to bring dates to non-LWOP lifers, and that is all a most worthy fight and cause. Yet, there is virtually no one other than brother Ken Hartman and The Other Death Penalty Project fighting from inside prison to end this travesty of injustice and inhumanity, and the hopes of bringing light and change to LWOP sentences, especially the ones imposed on youth under 21 or even 25 years old.
In most civilized countries a life sentence is ten to twenty years at the most, especially for youth or first time offenders. For LWOPs there is nothing, even though there are numerous credible ways to measure the deep changes that occur inside a LWOP prisoner. Lifers as a whole have the lowest recidivism rates; hardly any come back into prison for a capital crime, petty crime if anything. Most lifers, especially the older LWOPs, just want to live a little before they die. I am speaking of LWOPs with 30 or 40 years in prison.
I have served the equivalent of three life sentences in most civilized countries, especially for a youth and first termer. I just want to get out and die in old age peacefully.
Yet, I sit here with dashed hopes and dreams buried in a pit. Longing for a life, for female companionship, to see where my mum, dad, grandma and other family members and friends are buried. No one choose to share this LWOP endless path with me. My hope fades from many directions. After so many years in prison the hope, that deep spring well of magic, could bring someone to commune with on this journey is now a distant dream. How do I leave this shadow that seems only to be getting darker? I don’t know. At this moment I feel too unworthy to even consider to ask someone to share this narrow path of LWOP with me. A path with fire on one side and a pit on the other. No matter how deep the longing and pain grows. Yes, I can do this alone, because it gets harder to tap the realness pool inside. It will be better tomorrow and perhaps tomorrow is another life. My heart and soul is like browned grasses in a field right now.
Read more from Spoon Jackson in Poet Behind Bars on The Good Life.
Image credit: For91days/Flickr
Spoon, please remember that those of us who have followed your story and books are with you! I admire your courage and want you to know that you should never, ever, feel unworthy. It makes me sad to know that a lot of people never seem to move beyond punishment – and yet we know that there is always a reality that has to come next. Our culture loves to hate, yet fears to experience redemption and forgiveness. My belief in the power of redemption is so strong, that I cannot imagine life without it – it is my religion.… Read more »
First, let me say I am actually very empathetic to your situation. I have always been opposed to the death penalty and feel it’s cruel and unusual punishment, but I never thought of LWOP that way. To me, it seemed like a fair alternative to living out your days on death row, and the constant stress of never knowing if or when that awful day would actually come. Thinking about it now, I think I would probably be okay if the man who killed my dad were released from prison in 30 years… but he would be 80+ then. If… Read more »
We are here with you, Spoon! Never under estimate the work “you” are doing to bring attention to this revenge sentence and human rights violation. Your exemplary life behind bars, a life of poetry, writing, music and teaching has demonstrated to so many the value of those left behind, that cannot be buried by the concrete cages they build, even though they try, your soul has burst through!
What did you do to earn life without parole ?
And a “life sentence” resulting in 10 years behind bars is a mockery.
Spoon’s words: http://realnessnetwork.blogspot.se/2013/05/stolen.html
I am not in jail, never been, but strangely enough I know how you fell. My dream in life was to know love. I thought I was to damaged to attract a good man, so I worked on myself, from therapy to meditation for 35 years. Now I am whole but love never came, and meantime I have gotten old. I realized that wherever I am right now, is where with all likelihood I am going to spend the rest of my life. The only thing left to do is helping the body survive in a reasonable state of good… Read more »
This is powerful and thought stirring. Thank you for sharing your insight.